I didn't make it rain
by Nel1
Summary: I edited the epilogue to the story to remove any confusion, due to a couple of comments...I'm sorry for this...I actually wrote the Epilogue before I even wrote Chapter 9. Anyway, I hope this removes any more confusion! Please R&R if you have a moment!
1. I didn't make it rain Prologue

"I didn't make it rain" A fanfic by Sarah Stalcup  
  
[Author's note: This is my first ever IZ fic, so please bear with me as I try to make the character's as...err...Invader Zim-y as possible. Please R&R!]  
  
[Disclaimer: I, although I wouldn't mind if I did, do not own any of the characters that appear in the Zim universe; they are copyright the wonder Mr. Vasquez. The original character, Nel, however, is copyright, me :3]  
  
~*Prologue: Shower*~  
  
Words pricking her skin like small, diminutive needles...a shudder, the first sign of life within the last 24 hour period, crawling down her spine like mallets descending the length of a xylophone.  
  
She was obviously resisting consciousness like a plague, clenching her eyes tightly together, her mouth quivering as a light was suddenly illuminated overhead, followed by a spasmodic cry. Those overhead and around the girl's body simply watched as the small person nestled uncomfortably on the shoddy, dirty lab table, convulsing and trembling, eyes switching from their notes and clipboards at hand to the disturbing sight that lay before them.  
  
The crust that had formed around her eyelids had caked her eyes shut; she couldn't open them even if it was her best intention. Trying to pull a frail, slender hand towards her face, the person found that her appendages had been bound...she was trapped...where?  
  
How?  
  
"As I've said before, we've never seen this sort of recession of health in one of our subjects, not since that horribly failed experiment with the squirrel and the microwave." a voice rang out, giving a brief pause as a sigh of regret traveled about the large, circular room, dimly lit save the garish light bulb that hung over the aforementioned 'subject.' The speaker's voice was cold and crisp, like a fall wind rendering your skin numb and chaffed. The girl didn't much care for it.she would rather be alone. "And this should come as a concern to all of us, as this could spell doom for our cause...if we do not keep our heads level.  
  
"Whether this is some new, foreign disease that specifically targets our creations or just another common pathogen, we have yet to discern. But let me assure you that this is just a minor setback in our scheme of things, and progress will resume in next to no time."  
  
A buzz of clapping materialized soon after, and the girl, straining her ears, could hear the faint rustling of feet making their exit, idle chatter floating about her like invisible snow flakes. Silence overtook the room, but she could still feel a person's presence close at hand, but this one felt different than all the rest, the others...this one was...different...she wasn't sure if it was better or worse...couldn't tell while locked in shadow and fear.  
  
"Pity how they treat you...if only they knew..." a new, masculine voice emerged over the stagnant quietness, and the girl jerked her head towards the source, mouth agape with surprise...she had never heard this person before...who was it? "If only they could realize the genius and innovation.the painstaking intellectuality behind your very being..."  
  
Not quite understanding what the person meant, the fragile person, still bonded to her table, hands twitching every so often, struggled to find the words to speak. Her voice box failed her, and only a low whimper was given leave, barely leaving her throat.  
  
"Try not to strain yourself...you have much ahead of you..." chagrin seemed to saturate the person's voice, "...so many imperfections we need to fix..."  
  
A light breeze brushed against her pale cheek, and the girl soon realized that the person speaking to her had left. Now she was alone. But wasn't she always like this?  
  
Alone. 


	2. Chapter 1: Cloud

[Author's Note: words encased by the "~" symbol indicate thoughts or emphasis.since ff.net won't display italics.]  
  
Chapter 1: Cloud  
  
A slow monotonous humdrum beat against the bus windows, little rivulets sliding down dirty, cracked glass as a young, raven-haired boy pressed his pale cheek against the cold surface. He stared dully through this somewhat translucent pane, brown eyes half-closed, caught between a mixture or boredom and drowsiness.  
  
Dib remembered a time when he used to relish in the sound of rain, lulling him to sleep when the night seemed endless, and his body would turn and toss eternally, a sleep-inducing litany to his ears. When sad thoughts or frightening ones would glower down on him, the rain would be there at times, a soft pattering that could drown out his worries. Now all the boy could think about was how much he hated the rain; the clouds, thick with heavy droplets, would block the night sky, prohibiting his star-gazing, keeping him from viewing the night sky and all its glorious bounty.  
  
Not only that, but ~God~ was it fucking depressing..he found it almost unbearable at times: the incessant drone and never-ending murmur beating against the windows and doors. At times it made him feel like something was missing from his life. The rain made him feel hollow. He had his mission: to defeat Zim. But even with that, even with the pride he derived from thwarting all of the Irkin's schemes, he still didn't feel like he was accomplishing anything.was he even going anywhere?  
  
~Maybe it's just the rain..~ he thought dolefully, propping his hand beneath his drooping chin, ~Maybe it's just me..~  
  
"You're being graciously quiet.." a stern, adamant voice stirred his attention away from his miserable distraction, and to the young girl who sat at his side, angled hair nearly covering already closed eyes. In her hands was her faithful companion, her handheld Game Slave, the words "pause" flashing in rhythm across the screen.  
  
"I guess..it's just one of those days.." Dib said, the words a little reserved; he hadn't spoke all day, and it came as a surprise that the first person to hear his voice would be his little sister, surly and disreputable as she usually was. Forcing a smile, the boy turned back to the gray scene that lay beyond the bus windows. "I wish it would stop raining.even ~if~ it could cause that jerk Zim immense amounts of gratuitous pain to have just one tiny drop fall on his bare, foul, Irken skin.."  
  
His sentence ended with a maniacal grin, the corners of his mouth turning skyward as he bathed in delight at the mere thought of his rival, the Invader Zim, writhing in pain. Nothing else could cause his heart to flutter so rapidly with glee.  
  
"I never asked you to start.." Gaz growled vehemently, the eyebrows on her face twitching a little as she escaped back into her video game world. Her face was enveloped in the dim backlight; Dib decided it was for the best that he didn't interrupt her, lest his arm be decorated with another bruise.  
  
~At least she has a retreat..~ he sighed to himself, ~Where can I go..what can I do.~  
  
Grimy tires finally rolled up beside the skool Dib attended, and he had been so lost within his thoughts, he didn't realize they had arrived until Gaz smacked him with her book-bag, giving a harsh jeer before standing up from her seat. Rubbing his sensitive, if not disproportionate, head, Dib followed his sister.  
  
He looked at the March sky, and didn't care how drenched his face was becoming, or how sopping wet his trench coat was. His hot breath fogged his lenses.  
  
~I hate the rain.~  
  
Dib's last class for the day was more ridiculously tedious then ever, as Ms. Bitters decided that her students should be introduced to the fascinating subject that is cyanide and all its valuable, worldly uses.  
  
~Zim'll get a kick out of this..~ groaning under his breath, Dib paid special attention that he went unnoticed by his wrathful teacher, as he sat slumped in his front row chair, his scythe-like hair starting to cascade over his eyes, soaked and being held down with rainwater. He hadn't even bothered to wipe his glasses. He wanted to go home.  
  
"..and before you little maggots make your daily escape back to your stinking homes, I have an unimportant, waste-of-my-time announcement for you all.." the teacher's biting voice ground into Dib's ears, like a screwdriver being scraped along the chalkboard. He sat upright, books packed, eager to leave and invent new methods for which to eradicate Zim with.  
  
"You will be having another addition to your lousy, miserable class today, and I don't expect you to act any differently to her then you do to any of your other lousy, miserable classmates..and please, don't try to amuse me by doing otherwise," the arachnid-resembling teacher spoke with a twinge of a hiss, motioning nonchalantly towards the classroom door. "Get in here!"  
  
Many of the students were too preoccupied to notice the new classmate entering into the gloomy room, and even though Dib didn't particularly care either, he couldn't resist the urge to see if it wasn't one of Zim's friends..or worse.. What would he do ~if ~another Irken decided to make an unscheduled sojourn to the Earth's surface? Could he ever handle too of the festering aliens at once? Sure, Zim wasn't the most adept Invader, but who could fathom what two of his kind could do.it made a shudder crawl underneath his pallid skin. Risking a glance at said alien, he noticed with a sort of reserved curiosity how unobtrusive Zim was acting; he wasn't even glaring at Dib like usual, not spouting absurd, wordy threats against the "worm-babies".  
  
"Her name is..Nel." the teacher sneered revoltingly at the plain, ho-hum name, probably wondering just how many people in one classroom had 3-letter names. As the diminutive figure slowly came out from behind the towering lecturer, Dib strained to get a look at her face; she was looking at the floor. Nel, at first glance, was just about the most pitiful-looking thing Dib had ever seen. All of his previous alarm had vanished as quickly as it had been formed, as he looked at the new classmate, trembling like the teacher was about to step on her. The first thing Dib noticed was that she was incredibly thin, almost emaciated, not that it alarmed him..not many of the students were exactly beefy themselves, what with the slop they served in the cafeteria. Why this caught his attention at the forefront, even Dib couldn't discern..he just found it so exaggerated..almost comical. It didn't help that she was dressed in the most ridiculously cheerful looking dress or periwinkle blue, a sad attempt to balance out her timid stature and coy appearance. When she finally did look up, Dib finally got a look at the perfect, mouse- ish face to match an equally mouse-ish physique, as Nel's newly revealed, dark brown eyes sheepishly eyed those around her, a pair of wiry glasses sliding down her thin nose. Thin eyebrows were pulled tightly towards one another, dilated pupils darting back and forth rapidly like an animal being preyed upon.  
  
~Ha! Heaven help the Irken's if this is what they call an Invader!~ Dib guffawed inwardly, feeling a bit foolish for ever thinking that the new student could ever pose a threat to Earth's safety. It was almost too much to subside. Dib had been so absentminded in his self-indulgent wit that he failed to notice how the girl had sat herself directly beside him, arms crossed in front of her.  
  
"Um..excuse me.."  
  
He didn't hear her voice; he didn't even understand why he was being so hard on the poor girl..she didn't even know his name.  
  
"Excuse me.."  
  
Once again her words went unnoticed, just as her presence was. She unfolded her arms, and, like a caretaker trying to feed a hungry lion, reached out to touch Dib's shoulder. Long, slender fingers, tense with the weight of paranoia, finally made contact with the black fabric of the boy's inattentive figure.  
  
"What th-?!" he jerked in his chair, head snapping to his left, where the girl sat, petrified by the sudden start, hand recoiled and balled into a tiny fist. "Don't do that! What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?!"  
  
"I-I'm so-sorry!" lips trembling, Nel suddenly jumped to her feet and darted out of the room, just as the dismissal bell blared loudly, a chorus of relief and laughter breaking out, much to Ms. Bitters annoyance; her teeth were grinding so severely, Dib was surprised he couldn't hear it.  
  
For a while, Dim just sat and stared aimlessly, wondering just how long the girl had been trying to attract his interest. His mouth was agape, somewhat worried that he had done something to hurt the girl's feelings, but he shook his head vigorously; he couldn't think like that..he had more important things to discern and ponder, like what Zim's next move would be..Zim..  
  
It finally dawned on Dib that he was due a confrontation with the green- skinned alien. Head turning left and right, the bespectacled young boy could find no sign of his arch-nemesis; his seat was vacant, just like all those around him. Rubbing her hands together, Ms. Bitters had finally had enough of Dib's stalling.  
  
"Dib, unless you have a sudden urge to feel a piece of chalk exploring your nostrils, I suggest you leave like all your other disgusting classmates.." voice low and menacing, Dib didn't give the request (~If you could call it that~, he thought sarcastically) another moment to live itself out. Haphazardly snatching up his things, he fled the room of academic torture, zipping down the stairs, 5 steps at a time.  
  
The appallingly cold air was the first thing to greet Dib as he left the dank, foreboding building, a tornado of foliage encircling him as he stepped onto the sidewalk. Although the rain had finally ended, it had left the ground carpeted with dead leaves; Dib silently cursed as his black boots almost slipped on one.  
  
A shadow cascaded darkly along the pavement, looming towards Dib's feet as he made his way home, and even though the silhouette revealed no distinguishing features, he already had an accurate guess as to whom the shadowy profile belonged to.  
  
"Zim, what do you want?" he muttered, eyes closing to a slit, a hand tightening around the handle of his book-bag.  
  
"Oh, nothing really," Zim said all too calmly, his smug voice prodding Dib's uneasy temperament, as he stood along the sidewalk no more than 10 feet away. "I was just wondering about your opinion.."  
  
"My opinion?" Dib responded sharply, not chancing a step forward, "Zim, what are you playing at?"  
  
"It's really none of your worm-baby business, you simple, fetid creature. But tell me: what do you think about the Nel-human; she was most interesting don't you think?"  
  
"Zim, stop talking in stupid riddles and start making sense, not that you ~ever~ did.." Dib eyed the Irken cautiously as an acrid taste started to form on the tip of his tongue.  
  
"You are avoiding my question, Dib! Answer me!" Zim's voice was rising with paralleled impatience, but Dib refused to play along with this ridiculous excuse for an epic confrontation. "Well?!"  
  
"You're being an idiot, Zim, and therefore, I'm not answering your already idiotic question," Dib rejoined, as he started to move around Zim's austere form, making sure to brush his shoulder roughly.  
  
"How dare you ignore my interrogation, insolent human! Did you not tremble in fear in her presence?!" still holding to his spot in the middle of the sidewalk, Zim looked in disbelief as his adversary casually rounded about him, "Look! Even now my eyebrows are doing that..that..twitchy..twitch...eyebrow thingy!!"  
  
"Listen to me Zim." Dib halted suddenly, pivoting slowly on his left foot to face the furious Invader, "First off, that girl couldn't scare a 3-year- old who wets himself every time the lights go out at night; so no, Zim, my eyebrows aren't doing the twitchy twitch thingy. Secondly, ~you~ don't even have eyebrows to begin with! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get home so that I can continue saving the Earth from your evil mind with no eyebrows."  
  
If Zim had uttered any other senseless banter afterwards, Dib was trying his best to pay no heed to it, his mind filled with plans..and wonderment.  
  
~Why is he so concerned about Nel..she's just a little girl..~ he thought to himself, hands clenching each strap of his backpack as he trudged through the dreary streets. ~Maybe I was too hard on her..she doesn't even know my name..~  
  
Turning around the next corner, Dib was soon standing in front of his home; it looked vacant, as always, and Dib doubted there would ever be a day in which his own father would be there to greet him. The mailbox was empty, and he seriously questioned if Gaz had taken the time to bring it in, not while completely absorbed in her Game Slave like she always was. Trudging up the front stairs, he placed a single, fair hand on the doorknob. But before twisting it, opening the door between two lives of solitude, one locked in his room, and the other outside, where the pointing fingers and disbelieving minds awaited. He had always been the world's punching bag, the one to always take the hits and jabs for mankind's sake, no matter how invaluable his services were to it. Sometimes he couldn't even reason why he stuck his neck out so far.  
  
And it was then that Dib knew why he felt so sorry..sorry for how he had acted to Nel: she was so much like him..Casting a glance to the still gray sky, Dib wondered what he must have done to her feelings, but knew he couldn't do anything about it..wouldn't bring himself to the conclusion that he ~didn't~ know what to do about it.  
  
~One of those days..~ 


	3. Chapter 2: Storm

Chapter 2: Storm  
  
The boy's feet were like large clumps of lead, hampering every movement he tried to make; the synapses between his brain and his legs seemed to be shred in two. Not even the sudden crackle and illumination of thunder and lightning could yank him from this strange trance.  
  
Ensnared within his own little world, Dib found no peace, just a grudging sensation that he had wronged the girl that had been sitting next to him...sure, he had endured years of mockery and lived to tell the tale, but that was him...perhaps he took the ridicule with more leniency. But wasn't he always the weak one, the classic example of a human punching bag?  
  
~I'm no better then they are...~ the stifling notion that he had become the oppressor instead of being held as the oppressed was disturbing, and it was this nagging thought that held him fast.  
  
A fat water drop splashed onto Dib's forehead, dousing him enough so that he was finally forced to enter his house, the air around him, as always, quiet and still like velvet coated midnight. The only noises Dib perceived were that of an unattended television set and the heating turning itself on, triggered by the sudden cold that fled through the open door. This was the norm for Dib...how every day had been for him...how every day ~was going~ to be for the bespectacled boy.  
  
Shaking his head violently, Dib pushed away these penetrating feelings, as he walked up the stairs to the second floor, pausing on the 6th stair.  
  
Dib couldn't remember the last time he had felt this way, so mystified over such simple feelings like regret and forlorn. Not even while foraging the deepest corners of his mind could he recollect when last he had felt so abandoned. His mind was mired in so many different topics that it had trouble choosing which one to pursue.  
  
Should he say he was sorry...should he ignore...what about his mission? Could he wallow in this apprehension while Zim went ahead with his plans for world domination?  
  
~Damnit...~ mentally spiting himself, he continued up the staircase, tromping his boots now, each step seeming more laborious than the preceding one. Reaching the landing on the second floor, Dib took a quick peek into Gaz's room, walls painted black, much like every thing else she owned. She was lying on her bed, back turned to the entrance, not even registering her brother's presence. One wondered how they could even call themselves siblings, they way they rejected each other.  
  
Dib's room was across the hallway from Gaz's, and was about the same size, although the walls in here were littered with posters all exhibiting his unusual attraction to the paranormal. A breathy sigh escaped his open mouth, and Dib slowly entered his other realm, the only place in which he felt welcome, where problems weren't allowed to bother him and he was able to concentrate and plot his counterattacks to Zim's nefarious schemes.  
  
He flung his book bag into an empty crook of the room, back sore from carrying so many books, many of them so useless, they were better off being thrown into a fire for kindling. Letting the relief of this burden spread through his lower back, Dib collapsed into the comfort of his computer chair, the wheels squeaking slightly, and turned on his desktop, a familiar whir and hum burgeoning slowly.  
  
As he waited for the computer to load its components, Dib let his eyes wander around the 4 corners of his room, gazing at the charts, sky maps, and electrical equipment that cluttered every crevice, years of research and info gathering, all for one purpose: to understand that which no one had ever understood. All his life it seemed Dib had let his mind be taken captive by this topic, and although he had never given it much consideration, he sometimes found he never knew why things were this way.  
  
~I miss you...~  
  
The only person in his life who might have cared for him, if he had lived long enough to see her affection.  
  
~Mom...~  
  
The name lingered painfully on the tip of his tongue; he wanted to say it out loud, but every fiber of his being wouldn't comply so easily.  
  
Could it have been her loss that spurned this unnatural interest, this insatiable hunger for knowledge? All he had were the few pictures his rather negligent father had taken before his birth, the brief glimpses into her life, all captured on photo paper. That was all he had to replace his mother being there...he had no memories, not even bad ones.  
  
~...Mother....~ an anxious tear traveled to the far corners of his eyes, teetering for a little, and then finally tumbling down the sides of his face, little raindrops of his own, salty and heavy with a sadness that was bound to overtake him. Dib brought his feet onto the chair, binding his arms around his legs so that his entire body was a curled mass of black fabric, the one color that seemed to suit him best.  
  
He wanted to disregard Fate for ruining his life, for taking her away...but he couldn't....Fate doesn't let you off without having some amount of pain smashed into you...it's victims are always aware of it's sphere of influence. He wanted to withdraw from this existence, dash his troubles into tiny, little pieces and let the wind carry it away...but even ash and soot in the wind can cause you to cough and gag...it would never truly be gone.  
  
But most of all...Dib wanted to hate those that had hurt him when he knew his mother wouldn't be there...when he had no one but himself to lean on...but things weren't that easy...were never that easy for Dib.  
  
Hate is simple...this was too complicated...  
  
"So...how was your day at skool?"  
  
At first, the voice dazed Dib, head leaning over the back of his chair, a once-flowing stream of drool now dry and caked on his face. His body went rigid at the unexpected entrance of another person into his room; he at first thought he was dreaming.  
  
His father, Professor Membrane, was standing in the doorway, looking straight at him.  
  
"Du-Dad?!" he gasped, unfolding his legs so wildly that he actually fell completely off of his chair, landing on the floor with a loud thud!. Fixing the glasses on his face, Dib took his time getting back onto his feet, cautiously eying the man before him. "What do you want?"  
  
"Now is that anyway to answer someone when they've just asked such a simple question?" immediately reminded of how eagerly Zim had been grilling him, Dib simply let his father's second question go unanswered, and instead shot him a quizzical glance out of the corner of his eye. "My poor, poor insane son..."  
  
"Yeah, right, Dad," Dib yawned, the effects of his impromptu nap still swaying over him. When had he fallen asleep? He didn't remember feeling so tired... "Anyway, skool was fine; some new girl came into her class..."  
  
"A new girl, eh? So, finally exploring into the world of the opposite sex, son?" Professor Membrane playfully nudged his son's disbelieving side; he had never said more than 3 words to him before without being approached; what was with this sudden enthusiasm? Maybe he was still in a dream...this all seemed to far-fetched to be true.  
  
"Dad...what are you talking about?" a small frown forming on his dry lips, Dib narrowed his eyes a little, questioning his father's amicable behavior.  
  
"Oh, I was just curious that's all...nothing really...But did you catch her name?"  
  
At this, Dib had finally had enough of this mockery of a father-son discussion; it was so one-sided it was almost agonizing and he refused to participate in something so fake and phony.  
  
"Dad...I'm going back to sleep..." Dib knew he was being disrespectful, but in this family, that was nonexistent in some cases. His father had never shown him a wit of concern or over-flowing love before, why start now? Even when they were interested in the same topics did they ever share lengthy, scientific discussions with one another? No, and frankly, Dib was too tired to actually be bothered by it. "See you later..."  
  
Plopping face first into his bed and wrapping the blankets about him, Dib placed his glasses on his night stand, and was just about to drift off into an early retirement, when his father spoke once more, this time softly, with uncertainty.  
  
"Was her name..Nel?"  
  
"What did you just say?!" Dib's eyes flashed wide open, looking out the doorway, but was treated with only emptiness; his father was gone, back to his lab and his work like always; it was as if he had never been there speaking to him. ~How...how did he know...It's not like I care....but..~  
  
Sinking back into his sheet, Dib stared at his ceiling, blank except for a few glow-in-the-dark stars he had put there last year. Perhaps he had misheard his father....anyway, he ~had~ been thinking about the girl for a while, ever since their less then cordial encounter.  
  
Why did it seem like every one was troubling themselves over one girl...first Zim, and now ~Dad~? She was, different, he admitted, but definitely not note-worthy....just another future throw out on the planet Earth. It was too much for Dib to ponder now, as he let his eyes droop again, not letting the low glow from his computer's monitor hinder him, as he fell into sleep again.  
  
Nel entered the room slowly, bare feet padding along the floor quietly, stopping in place when she had reached the exact middle of the room.  
  
"Tell me, how did you enjoy today?"  
  
The woman's words were biting and unfriendly, with a tone that went beyond parental chastisement, and Nel cringed because of this.  
  
"I-I enjoyed today..." clearing her throat, the girl stepped towards the mirrored wall, knowing fully well that some persona lay beyond the reflective surface. But all she could see was her terrified self, knees knocking and teeth chattering.  
  
"Your response should end respectfully!!" the voice boomed now like a foghorn, bouncing off the concrete surfaces of the room like a ping pong ball. "And you simply 'enjoyed' your little recess? This was like a Christmas present; how can you dishonor such a generous gift?! You disreputable little cur!"  
  
"I-I-I'm sorry, ma'am! Please excuse me!" Nel fidgeted with her threadbare clothing, a simple gray sweatshirt that was 3 sizes too larges and nearly came down to her knees. The portions of her legs that were exposed were covered with tiny, but deep scars; one could only imagine the incisions on her arms. "I l-loved today, ma'am!"  
  
"And be glad that you did...I almost didn't vouch for this reprieve...be glad that there are those that look down on you with kinder eyes then ~I~ do..." the voice from behind the grand mirror seemed to calm down and Nel sighed dimly, the soft features of her face brightening.  
  
It had been a great thing to let her attend skool, if only for a month or two; to leave this sterile zone, tucked deep within the city, was like granting a sinner a second chance to find innocence.  
  
Biting her lower lip tenderly, the skin chapped and worn from the cold, fall breeze, Nel at first hadn't believe she was actually going to be seeing other people, those that were her age...good-natured people that didn't yell or scream...those that wouldn't hit her...or maim...  
  
Blinking her eyes a few times, Nel returned to the present, trying to forsake the cache of hostile emotions that had been used against her. The voice hadn't said anything else to her; Nel wasn't even sure if she was still there, secluded behind that enigmatic wall, barking at her at all times like a ravenous beast. She was so hard to satisfy, no matter how humble Nel was. It was never enough; her best would always fall beneath the harsh expectations her superiors had set for her.  
  
"Well...what do you want to do now, Nel?" startling the poor girl, her mouth tight once more with dread, the venomous voice seemed to be impatient, as if an eternity had passed. "These clandestine meetings cannot drag on like this, you know that! We have much to do with you..."  
  
"Yes, ma'am, I know...I'm finished...mother..." the last word forced out with a grimace, Nel stared at the ground bleakly. The individual hidden behind the mirror didn't seem to notice the strain Nel was under, and with a final scoff, shut off her intercom.  
  
Never the colloquial sort, Nel was surprised she hadn't received further punishment, whether it was verbal or physical, for her sharp tone of voice. She should have been more grateful for this chance event; Nel had never met the person she referred to as "ma'am", but she was almost certain that a person with such a malicious tone must be just as vindictive in the flesh.  
  
Batting her large, brown eyes slowly, the girl felt a sudden heaviness deep inside her chest cavity, a twinge in her heart; it felt like a large hook was tugging at her lungs. Clapping a hand to her throat, Nel began to feel a gagging reflex gurgling its way up through her esophagus, and she clamored to the cold, uncaring ground.  
  
Swiftly, a torrent of men in white lab coats burst into the room like a stampede of silver horses, encircling the girl, now pitching severely as if deathly blows were being dealt upon her body.  
  
"Rhodes! Get a stretcher in here this instant! Someone help me restrain the subject!" an anonymous person bellowed furiously, trying to force a pen between Nel's teeth to keep her from grinding them to the roots. "No, Brandenburg, I don't know if this is the same ailment as before! Stop questioning and go, NOW!"  
  
To Nel, all of the commotion around her was being played out in slow motion, the sounds muted, as if every one had a towel wrapped around their faces..and every thing was blurry..what was happening...she didn't know....this never happened before, at least not so quickly after speaking with the voice...  
  
~I deserve this....I have done something wrong, mother...please forgive me...~  
  
One last choke wound its way out of Nel's mouth, a fragile attempt to properly breathe, as a deep haze clouded all her senses at last...she felt something being placed over her mouth...what was it? A sharp stab penetrated her left hand, but she couldn't flinch in response..her entire body had become as numb and bitter as a slab of ice.  
  
Jumping out from behind Nel's obscured perspective, one could witness a scene of mass confusion and disarray, with several attendants warily placing the girl's delicate and feeble body onto a hospital bed, trying desperately to stabilize her condition. A jumble of wires and needles had already been injected into her, attempting to pull her out of an inevitable coma.  
  
Screams filled the air, as doctors told those in their way to remove themselves as they struggled to maneuver the cart to the nearest emergency room. But all Nell could see were the lights...they were always there, like yellow faces staring down at her at all times. They only went away when she closed her eyes, and how she wished to vanish into sleep, to be blinked out of all existence.  
  
She knew the voice would not be happy with her now...she had caused a commotion; had brought attention upon her own being. Face now receding to shades of dull grey, her body so weary she could barely tremble, Nel felt a single hand shaking her shoulder now, keeping her awake, and when she let herself, she thought she heard the same, different voice from before...the other person...  
  
~Let me sleep...please...~  
  
"Nel! NEL!" the voice was boring down on her like a tidal wave, forcing her to remain with the living, snatching her away from the dream world that invited her with friendly hands and a welcoming embrace. "Stay with us!! You have to be strong!!!"  
  
~I'm not strong...mother said so...I'm so weak without her...I'm nothing without her...~  
  
"Nel!"  
  
~I want to go back to skool...I want to be happy....I would give it all away...~  
  
"Please don't fall asleep, just a little longer!"  
  
~Just...to..be strong....~  
  
"Oh, GOD! She's slipping into shock, get her into the ER, ~stat~!!!" the voice was now so faint, it sounded like a whisper to Nel, her face composed, as the doctors finally got her into a clean room.  
  
She didn't even realize she was still awake...the lights were the only thing there now... 


	4. Chapter 3: Rolling Thunder

Chapter 3: Rolling Thunder  
  
A tender sensation washed over her body..she felt so aloof, as if the ceiling were spinning out of control, and her feet had lost contact with the Earth's cruel surface, her body levitating towards space.  
  
~...Can I go play..with the other children...I promise I won't run away..~  
  
Her mouth contorted into a peculiar, unfamiliar smile, one that couldn't be read as either happy or insane..a smile that had no definition. It seemed to appear out of nowhere, as all her other facial features were lost in a sea of blanched, colorless flesh. Her fingers and other appendages were numb and deadened, all to her advantage, for at that very moment when Nel began to regain consciousness, the multitudes of scientists were ripping her body open, poking and prodding her chest cavity.  
  
She was saved from this pain and excruciating torment, feeling only a dull aching in her lungs and heart, the stabs and gashes interpreted by her brain to feel only like small pin pricks. They had probably injected enough pain killers into her blood stream to kill a small animal, with Nel having just enough strength to clutch on to her last shred of life.  
  
And then there was that smile, that quizzical expression that did not exude pain or sadness, just appreciation...a simple gratitude that she was still alive, if only for the next few moments. In this stupor, she had forgotten the events that had transpired earlier, when it was as if her entire heart was being crushed between two hammers; now all that was etched in her anesthetized mind was the question of whether or not she would be returning to skool come next Monday.  
  
Nobody seemed to notice how happy she really was....they were too busy keeping her alive that they failed to see her fluttering eyes and flaring nostrils.  
  
"It's just as we feared..I knew this would be a problem, it was inevitable something like this was going to happen..." a person wrapped in darkness spoke through his sterile mask, eyes tense, beads of sweat dripping down the lines of his face. His face was locked with utter concentration, looking like the storm chaser gazing into the eye of the tornado, prepared to face the challenge, and ready to taste the unpredictable.  
  
At this point, hypotheses were pieces of crap, and assumptions could be given even less respectability. The fact was, time was the opponent, and it wasn't going to allow any margin or error; one miniscule mistake could be substituted for an epic catastrophe; one screw up would ensure the girl's death.  
  
"Lehman, make sure her breathing remains stable, and carefully monitor all brain-wave activity..if it becomes any more unbalanced, call me immediately," the nameless man spoke with an grim tone, "And likewise with her heart's pattern..they should be in sync with one another now, but who knows when that could change.."  
  
They were all exhausted, their stamina having been put to the test. Many of them were collapsing into chairs, forearms wiping the sweat from their creased brows, and no one seemed to care that their once spotless garments were painted crimson red with blood.  
  
Peering around the contours of the clean room -which was inaccurately labeled, since it was anything but clean- Nel struggled to take in a full breath, her lungs throbbing when she sucked air in. Thankfully the restraints encompassing her did not allow her a clear view of her exposed, torn-open body, as one stray glance would throw the breakable girl into traumatic shock.  
  
Abruptly, Nel felt her world plunged into darkness. Her eyes dilated almost immediately, mind clawing for an unobstructed view, and she began to feel her own heart race quickly towards arrest. Gargled pants spilled from her open mouth, Nel's voice disobeying her when she wanted more than anything to scream. There was something covering her face, her entire head even, and as her eyes furiously blinked, she felt her eyelashes touching some cold, metallic surface.  
  
She was frightened, but could say nothing to help herself.  
  
"I told you not to place that over her so quickly! Are you insane?!" a strict tone was heard beyond the shroud of inky blackness, but there was no response to it, just a repulsive silence. The shouted words hung lifelessly like clouds in the sky. "You can't disturb her now...she's just started to recover...she may be nothing to you but to us sh..."  
  
"To you?" a distinctly new tone entered the discussion, and Nel flinched at the sound; it hurt her ears and rendered her paralyzed with fear, as she was reminded almost instantly of the voice within the mirrored vault, "To you she means nothing!"  
  
"How can you say that with such certainty, if you don't mind me asking?" the first voice bit back fiercely, holding its ground against the more aggressive character, "All you do is punish her as if she's a pet, some replaceable plaything that can be tossed and thrown around carelessly!"  
  
"I believe you're forgetting yourself! If I'm not mistaken, you answer to ~me~!!!"  
  
A loud smack reverberated across the room; the harsh sound was muted to Nel's muffled ears. She strained to hear more of the conversation, but it seemed as though the combatants had ceased their heated discussion. All was quiet.  
  
"Now that your fat head has had a chance to clear itself, I suggest you tend to my ~plaything~, as you so incorrectly stated it," the second voice shattering the welcomed silence, and the sound of high heels clacking on marbled ground was heard leaving the room.  
  
Eyes sore from the obscurity about her, Nel suddenly felt a pair of hands touching the sides of her terrified face, pulling a large metal blindfold away from her cold, sweat-drenched skin. Vision still blurry, now bombarded with the garish light emanating from an overhead lamp, the small person fought to make sense of the confusion her eyes could not comprehend. She mewed a little, throat sore and ragged, her fingers now twitching with renewing vivacity.  
  
"Don't worry, I took the visual shield off; your sight won't be hindered for much longer..." emitted from an area somewhere to the left of her bed, Nel tried to turn her head to catch a glimpse of the speaker....he held the same voice as the kind person from before..the only one that seemed to care..she liked the sound of his voice, because it was so unlike all the others, especially the one from the mirrored room..  
  
"Nel, do you feel any pain when I do this?" a finger was felt being placed on her exposed organs, but all her bodily sensations were still to sedated to register any discomfort, "Just nod your head if you do..."  
  
She remained still.  
  
"Good, I'd hate to give you another hit of morphine; not sure if you could take it without slipping into a coma.." the voice reeked with concern, something foreign to Nel, and she struggled to understand this new concept.  
  
Try as she might, the girl couldn't reason the person's actions, this undying care..it made her ill with wary and unease at times...but sometimes it felt nice, like a warm blanket just out of the dryer, calming with a charm that was not so easily dispelled, even by unyielding hate. Being subject to this mysterious emotion brought an unearthly tranquility upon Nel's tortured existence, one that had begun the moment her eyes had opened for the very first time.  
  
How long had it been?  
  
Nel didn't care...she had her ~other~ voice now...she wanted to stay like this forever...  
  
"Will...w-will I go...back to...." pushing the words past barely parted lips, Nel felt her entire head go dizzy with the effort of trying to speak.  
  
"To skool?" the kinder voice said with a tint of disbelief, "I don't think you're up to it...plus, ~she'll~ have my head if you get into any more trouble..."  
  
~Trouble...am I being bad...I didn't mean to do anything wrong...~ Nel thought with fear, worry mixing with an enduring determination to satisfy.  
  
"If your condition starts to better itself..then maybe..." sounding hopeful, Nel flashed a shaky smile up to the speaker, still not able to focus in on the features of his face. Everything was so white and hazy, like being caught in a snow storm. "Right now...you need to rest..we'll be patching you up soon.."  
  
~Patching?...am I broken..will I get better...I still...still need to say I'm sorry to...to...~  
  
Dib awoke to the sound of thunder booming outside his home, a torrent of rain crashing against his window. He was surprised that he had actually fallen back to sleep after his terse chat with the Professor Membrane, but an elongated yawn reminded him of how fatigued he had been earlier. He rolled over on his side from where he was laying to get a better view of the digital clock. The room was completely dark so the red glow of the numbers, two thirty five, lit up his face in a crimson hue. His eyes squinted and he rolled back over onto his back.  
  
~I wonder how long it's been raining..I can't believe it's past midnight..~  
  
Dib laid there, hands at his sides, staring blankly upwards, the ceiling looking so close to his face. His mind was vacant like an empty glass, its insides dry and void of any contents save the stuff it was made of. Giving a shiver of uncertainty, he curled himself tighter into his web of sheets, burrowing his head into the pillows. He could faintly hear Gaz rustling around the refrigerator downstairs..her insomnia was at times was harder to surmount than Dib's own.  
  
BOOM!  
  
Another crackle of lightning shot itself into the darkness, and Dib jumped in spite of himself. What had gotten into him recently..the defender of the planet can't be frightened by a little thunder for Christ's sake! Why was he so uptight all of a sudden? Settling back into his covers, Dib then noticed how he was still wearing the same clothes he had yesterday, but then again, didn't he wear the same things everyday? Shoving this inkling aside, he labored in the shadows to slip out of his trench coat; it was enmeshed with his bed linens like two pieces of rope twisted together.  
  
~It's...so hot in here...~ he thought with flushed cheeks, questioning if recent events were to blame. Discarding his coat onto the floor beneath him, Dib continued to shed his layers of swarthy clothing, until only his black slacks remained. With the blinds drawn and the lightning illuminating the room every few seconds, Dib's pale, frail body seemed to glow eerily as if by some unseen radiance. He glared through the naked window, to the world he had sworn to protect, to the streets and houses that were jeopardized as long as the Invader Zim was allowed to breath.  
  
Dib, the now fourteen-year-old savior of a doomed planet...it hardly sounded heroic now..looking down at his hands, he felt so hopeless to the higher powers. How could he, with these bare hands, even hope to prevail above such evolved creatures...was it all a fruitless undertaking? Zim had been seeking world domination for two years now, and so far, Dib had been successful in thwarting him at every turn, but he was beginning to lose the motivation to persist..to care about his Earth..  
  
Dib, the little geek who was actually going to try and convince an entire planet that there was indeed a power-hungry, ravaging alien amongst them..to him this sounded more reasonable. No one ever believed him, not even his own father and sister...well, at least Gaz listened to him sometimes, but that was only when she was truly bored and didn't feel like beating the snot out of him.  
  
Could he do this alone? Was there anyone that could understand the importance of his mission; a single individual that didn't relate his words and knowledge to the mindless prattling of a raving lunatic? Did anyone really care about Dib at all?  
  
Hunching his shoulders, Dib sat with his back pressed against the wall, sitting on one of his soft, warm pillows, still staring down on himself, the way others looked down on him. He didn't want things to be this way....he didn't like being alone like this, no matter how much the others hated and teased him obstinately.  
  
Slinking back into the comfort of his sheets, the downy fabric caressing exposed flesh, skin tingling a little, Dib closed his eyes, just wishing that the next time they opened, this would all be over, for better or for worse...  
  
"GIR, tell me," a youthful, Irken voice rang through out an underground base, full of craftiness and laced with shrewd intentions, "What do you know about the site the stink-humans call ~Roswell~?"  
  
"Um, lemme see..." the spastic robot tapped its tinny head with a curled fist, an intense ring bouncing around the vast vacancy within, the result of being built with faulty parts. "I..dunno...is it yummy? Can I eat it with ketchup? WOOOOHOOOO! I'm gonna go eat a Roswell BURGER!!!"  
  
"No, you cannot eat it with ketchup, GIR..why do I even try.." Zim rued, shaking his head repentantly, trying with all his tolerance to ignore the dim-witted machine's ridiculous mannerisms. He turned his attention to the monitors in front of his command post, all flashing images of the Earth's exterior. "The humans built Roswell in a vain attempt to expand their galactic knowledge..many believe it to be the housing point of some crashed alien vessel. I cannot even imagine what pathetic inferior alien allowed itself to be taken captive by an even more pathetic species like the worm- babies..probably golems from the planet Phlegm.."  
  
"I like phlegm...it goes soooo well on ice cream!" GIR yelled, flipping around Zim's head, a blood vessel swelling with irritation.  
  
"GIR! Would you for ~once~ stop pretending to be an idiotic robot decoy and act like the advanced piece of Irken technology you're supposed to be?!" Zim slammed his clawed fist onto the computer console, and GIR immediately ceased his babbling, as the color of his eyes morphed to a deep scarlet.  
  
"Yes, Sir!" giving a firm salute, the automaton stood beside his master's chair, seeming to be under control.  
  
"That's much better...now, as I was saying, this piteous facet of mankind's research capabilities could be valuable to us..." pressing a few buttons so that one of the screens was enhanced several times, Zim leaned in closer, neck bending ever so slightly. "If they really have some alien life form held within that base, they might have similar bases like this; it's possible they might have some knowledge that could hinder my plans... If I can find these bases and find out what they know, then I can develop a master scheme that exploits they're ignorance..  
  
"I'll use what they ~don't~ know....they will have nothing to prepare themselves from my evil deeds..this could hold the key to finally disabling this planet for good! Not even the Dib-human can stop me!!!!"  
  
"Isn't that bad?" GIR interjected, having reverted back into his stupefied state-of-mind.  
  
"No, GIR, we want that to happen. Doom equals good....not bad.." Zim sighed, "Do you see?"  
  
"I suuuuure doooo!!" tongue hanging from his mouth, GIR was about to launch into the seemingly endless "Doom Song" when Zim motioned for him to remain silent.  
  
"Prepare a probe to launch as soon as possible, GIR..." lifting himself out of his chair, Zim twitched his antennae eagerly at the anticipation of weakening the Earth's defenses. He had been yearning for this chance ever since he had landed on this despicable, filthy planet. "Set them on "Detect" mode, and have them search for any signs of extraterrestrial matter."  
  
"Okie-dokie!!!" the little robot whooped gleefully, as Zim watched him zoom out of the room.  
  
"Watch as I infiltrate your dookie-doo bases, Earthlings! There shall be no escape from Zim, greatest of all the Irken soldiers!!!!" hollering with a maniacal laugh, Zim's voice was barely contained within the stronghold, as those above him slept silently, unaware of the menace hidden within their beloved planet.  
  
They called it the "Rose Room," but the girl didn't know why...everything was so stark and austere.. nothing struck Nel as being particularly "rosy," but this was what she was told to call it. All she could do was silently ponder the meaning behind the room's title. Any more would invoke castigation..Nel had learned that so long ago, and she rubbed one of her scar-covered arms as to display this knowledge.  
  
The Rose Room was composed of little more then a white, sterile bed and a night stand, with a single, barred skylight, the only source of natural light that was permitted. Sometimes there would be a stuffed toy on the bed for her, or even a box of chocolates, but that had been a rarity, and Nel couldn't recollect the last time this had happened. Now all she had was the stiff, springboard mattress and scratchy sheets. She found it hard to rest when all she saw above her was that cage-like window, the bars blocking her view of the sky above.  
  
Tracing a finger along her chest, Nel felt the taut stitches running along her body, the black threads of nylon barely bending as she touched them carefully. Her breathes were still irregular and a twinge of pain that was rooted within her would continually unearth itself, like a recurring nightmare, whenever she spoke.  
  
~I'm better then I was before....that's what mother told me..~ as optimistic as she tried to be, Nel couldn't reenact that smile from before; her mouth refused to budge even by the littlest margin. She remembered being awake during the entire surgery; they hadn't administered any more morphine for fear of losing her to its effects. They had her affixed to the table again, head clamped to the unyielding, flat surface.  
  
In her mind, she could still see the needles and thread, the tributaries of blood staining the examination table's veneer, and most of all, the faces boring down on her helpless form, their eyes shielded behind plastic goggles. They had haphazardly torn her single piece of clothing during the early stages of her operation, and it lay underneath her, sopping wet with some warm liquid..she hadn't figured then that it was her own bodily fluids....hadn't had the perception to think straight, not when her world was reeling with pain.  
  
Where had the compassionate voice and embodiment been when she needed it most? Why hadn't it been beside her like all the other times, spouting words of confidence, telling her that everything was going to be alright. Nel had always figured it had been this person that had been leaving her presents in the Rose Room. But he had never been there to meet her..never their when she could clearly see his face..  
  
Nel watched as drops of rain collided with and slid off her solitary window; saw the blurred bolts of lightning zigzagging across the sky like the doodles of a ghostly child. Sucking in some air, and suppressing the soreness welling in her lungs, she found herself also smothering the urge to cry, forcing the tears back into her poignant eyes.  
  
She raked a hand through her flaxen bangs, naturally blond amongst a tangled mat of otherwise brown hair, and turned onto her side, finally giving into this unmistakable misery, tiny pools of water seeping into the collar of her threadbare shirt. After her operation, they had given her a new, less ragged garment, but the fabric was still so thin that it barely protected her pallor skin from the elements, and the Rose Room was infrequently heated. But Nel supposed anything was better then sleeping in a piece of clothing that was inundated with your own blood and sweat.  
  
Slight arms wrapped around her likewise supple body, Nel, eyes clenched tightly, bit her lower lip in her moment of pure anxiety, wanting so much to ascend beyond those bars, lacking the reason behind this endless existence of testing and torturing. If she only knew why this was the way she had to live, then Nel might have been peaceful, been able to find solace in the Rose Room.  
  
But there was no answer to her inquiry.  
  
In the darkness, there was no accompanying light to shine down on her. She had no one to turn to..no one to tell her how why she was here..  
  
Squinting her eyes, shedding one last, heavy tear, Nel wished upon the stars she couldn't see for another chance..a chance to do better..to satisfy and gratify..  
  
~I am nothing without you mother..but if you are not here...what can I do to help myself..~  
  
The clouds parted, for just one moment..and a single light shone down..but like so many other things in her life, it was out of Nel's sight..as she lay amid her sea of woe..fast asleep.. 


	5. Chapter 4: Showers

Chapter 4: Showers  
  
Little flakes of cereal floated aimlessly in the bowl filled with low fat milk, idly pushed around by the boy's spoon, held loosely between his thumb and index fingers. His mouth was hung open like an unlocked door, and Dib realized that he must have looked pretty stupid, one hand propped beneath his chin, and he felt as if he were reliving yesterday's bus ride to skool. His glasses began to slide off his face, but he didn't bother to recover them, as he continued to indolently play with his disregarded food.  
  
"Hey, stupid, are you looking for some buried treasure?" sad Gaz as she finished her glass of soda, glaring at Dib from across the circular table with narrowed eyes. "Cause if you are, I'll be more than happy to assist you.."  
  
"That's okay, Gaz," placing his spoon next to untouched breakfast, Dib drew himself to his feet, knowing fully well that Gaz's idea of "help" would be to him on a one-way trip into his cereal bowl. "I think I'm going to go check up on our neighborhood menace..he's got to be up to something..he's been ~way~ too quiet lately.."  
  
"Tell it to someone that cares," dismissing him with a single hand, Gaz quickly left the kitchen, Game Slave in one hand, her Diet Poop soda in the other. Dib watched as she left, until her image was lost behind the tan walls, and he felt relieved that he had been spared the wrath of Gaz. She must have been in a good mood; not even one punch or kick.  
  
"I bet he's forming an evil plot right now..." Dib said quietly, as he started to gulp down the last of his orange juice, trying with all his self- control to think of some sort of preemptive move on his part..some way to gain the upper hand right from the start. But his mind remained null and void, and before he knew what was happening, Dib felt the cool, juice beginning to spill down the front of his shirt, splattering onto the tiled floor. "Shit!"  
  
Silently fuming, Dib snatched a napkin and began dabbing the citrus liquid from his shirt first, and then getting onto all fours to clean the sullied floor, the spilled juice fast becoming sticky. It didn't take long for Dib to notice that the puddle was just large enough to create a wobbly reflection, and he seemed to lose himself in this citrus representation of himself.  
  
His mirror image painted in shades of orange stared back at Dib with eyes that screamed tedium and a sense of detachment.  
  
~Stop kidding yourself, dumb ass..you could care less if Zim was about to blow up the planet..you said so to yourself last night..~ his reflection seemed to reveal, and Dib, furious at himself for being so clouded, began to hastily wipe away this other voice, this nagging awareness.  
  
But even with the pond of fruit juice sponged away, the thought loitered in his mind like a pack of mall rats..  
  
Why was he pretending to be interested in what Zim was or wasn't doing? Yeah, he ~was~ somewhat concerned about the fate of the world and all that, blah blah blah. But what was really stapled into his brain; what preoccupation was keeping him from the task at hand? His own spitting image had betrayed his innermost feelings...he knew it portrayed the truth..but why was he still denying it, he couldn't run anymore..  
  
~Damn her..damn her for making me so uncertain..I don't fucking need this..~ he though crossly, eyebrows taut with doubt.  
  
But there was her face, still locked deep within his mind. That sad, dejected face that was simultaneously serene and intimidating; there it was looking at his from the inside out, making his stomach ache like the aftermath of taking an uppercut to the gut.  
  
What glue held her visage so tightly affixed in his brain? Guilt? Pity?  
  
Something he longed to understand?  
  
Peeling his hands off the sugar-coated ground, each palm making a sickly, sucking noise as it was lifted, Dib made his way outside, aimlessly passing by the couch Gaz was sitting at. He didn't pause to tell her he was leaving, even if it would cause her undo delight, and when the door shut behind him, Dib wasn't surprised to see somber rain clouds in the sky. They frowned down at him, like shadowed faces, and as the breeze began to pick up again, he wrapped himself tighter within his trench coat. His state of mind seemed to be replicated by the fall weather, as he trudged down the sidewalk, not quite sure where he was headed..he wasn't going in the right direction if he aimed to confront his puke-green skinned rival..  
  
He barely registered that there was a person following him. Stalled by his mind's puzzles, his body didn't even flinch when a set of fingers wrapped themselves around the collar of his coat. It just felt like a strong current smashing from both sides, holding him in place momentarily, and he patiently waited for it to die down.  
  
It was only when he heard ~her~ voice that he snapped out of his dreamlike trance.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
Dib twisted his neck abruptly, so that two pairs of brown eyes met, the smallest of gaps forming between their faces.  
  
"What do you want?" unexpectedly, Dib spoke with a little more bite than he had wished for, and quickly toned down his voice, once he saw how alarmed Nel was. "Sorry..I'm sorry I scared you..now a-and..and be-before.."  
  
A wallow of some unspeakable insecurity had lodged itself in Dib's throat. He tripped over his own words now, as if he were walking over a field of banana peels, and the girl seemed as speechless as he was growing to be, her chin tucked in gently, a hand still clasped onto his trench coat tentatively.  
  
"Listen..I feel bad about what I did..but I have to go..." it felt awkward to have another person's hand touch his beloved coat..touching him..Dib wanted to brush it off callously and forget anything had ever happened.  
  
~And where are you going, Dib? Back home to your "loving family?" Stop playing the fool..~  
  
Nel remained locked in silence. It was starting to annoy Dib.  
  
"I said I was sorry...don't you have anything to say?" repeating his haphazard apology with enhanced bother, the bespectacled boy placed his hand upon the girl's ready to dislodge it from his lapel. But the instant his skin touched hers, the notion dissolved like sugar in water.  
  
It was so cold.  
  
Her hand was so cold.  
  
"Cripes...what's wrong with you?" said Dib, now fully turned to face Nel. Looking confused, as if she herself could not feel how chilled her own hands were, she cocked her head to one side innocently, her hand sliding so that it rested on his slumped shoulder.  
  
"Nothing..." the first words to leave her mouth since her initial "hello" were just as subdued; the harrowing look on her face was more tangible than this. "Nothing is wrong.."  
  
A low rumble, like that of a lion's growl, thundered out from the suspended clouds, and without warning they opened like a pair of cupped hands separating, releasing their contents right on top of both Dib and Nel. Neither of them ran to find shelter, neither of them moved an inch from where they stood.  
  
And then Dib did something even he couldn't have seen coming: he reached his arm forward, slowly and carefully....he felt weighed down, but he didn't want to stop..he felt all of the Earth's gravity fighting him, but he fought back..  
  
He touched her face..whether out of curiosity or some other hidden agenda, Dib couldn't reason.  
  
"You're as cold as a cadaver," finding her cheek to be of an unearthly temperature, Dib quickly took his hand of off her face, his skin paled with disbelief. "Why don't you get out of this rain or something....why are you here?"  
  
~Shouldn't you be the one asking that to yourself, Dib? ~  
  
"I came...to ask for your name..." she said softly, not at all fazed that Dib was so disenchanted by her skin's lack of warmth. Teeth gnawing at her lower lip, Nel finally removed her hand, letting it hang stupidly next to her exposed thigh.  
  
"My name? You came all the way out here, to ask for my name?" her motives seemed above suspicion, but they seemed so...childish...no one these days simply strolled the streets with the sole intention of discovering a person's name. Dib eyed the girl warily, eyebrows slanted and rain dripping off of his face, and Nel merely returned the inspecting glance, peering at him with a naïve nature. It caused unease to worm its way deep into his mind; he shuddered, a lock of raven hair fastened to his damp skin. Noticing how dreadfully sodden the girl's dress was he began to feel a little guilty for keeping them out in the rain.  
  
But wasn't it just as much her fault? Wasn't it her own damn fault that she wanted to know his name?  
  
Try as he might, Dib couldn't bring himself to spite the girl, and it crippled him mentally....he couldn't explain himself..maybe he didn't want to; wasn't he always interested in the unknown anyway?  
  
"My name..my name is Dib," finally spouting the reply the girl had been seeking, Dib was quickly beginning to see the effects the rain had on the girl, as her entire body was starting to tremble. Why couldn't he call her foolish...why was he standing here?  
  
A thousand conflicting actions were fighting a war within him, and when it was finally resolved, Dib slid out of his trench coat, mouth closed tightly, as if he wanted to say the words that would stop himself, but couldn't. Draping it over her small shoulders, Dib helped the girl slide into the garment, and although the sleeves were too long and the shoulders were horribly misplaced, it sure beat standing in the rain in a periwinkle dress.  
  
"I can't..." Nel started to take the coat off, lips barely parted, blond bangs nearly overshadowing her eyes they were so water-laden.  
  
"Don't worry about it...." Dib felt like laughing, at how chivalrous he was acting, at how stupid he was for lending out his jacket like this; perhaps if it were anyone else he would have been more reluctant..but there was that certain something..that familiar sadness he had felt at one time or another? "Just make sure you return it, okay?"  
  
Saying nothing but letting a nod instead express her thanks, Nel started to walk away, hugging herself, warm in Dib's trench coat. An urge to speak trembled in her throat, halfway from being emitted, and Nel stopped in her tracks, turning around, a hand raised. A smile that was creeping up on her faded the moment quickly after it had begun to materialize.  
  
Dib was already well out of ear-shot, walking in the opposite direction, away from her, hands shoved into his pockets and the rain beating on his back, his form shuddering every few steps from the cold. He wasn't going to stop and look over his shoulder.  
  
But she waved anyway, waved without a smile, without a purpose.  
  
A black car pulled up beside her on the road, and one of the passenger doors opened mechanically. Taking one last peripheral glance down the sidewalk, Nel slowly entered the vehicle, whispering to herself.  
  
"I'm sorry...Dib..can you forgive me? I didn't make it rain.."  
  
Down beneath the Earth's muddy shell, where there was no need for a plastic bubble of security or a shield of paste, Zim was patiently waiting, antennae twitching with expectancy. His surveillance probes had been gone for more than 24 hours, more than enough time to scan and locate any alien remnants; what was keeping them? He hoped GIR hadn't screwed things up again, sending them to find him an unlimited supply of tacos or chocolate. With a growl, his sharp Irken teeth bared, Zim swiveled his chair around, checking to see if any crafts had returned. There were none, just as it had been five minutes ago when he last had checked.  
  
~Perhaps I've sent them on a wild goose chase...there might not be any other extraterrestrial artifacts on this filthy planet after all..~ ruby eyes shining with malice, the invader began to tap a single clawed finger on the metal console, the rhythmic beat droning out the steady whirr stemming from the machinery that swamped Zim's secret base. ~I guess I'll have to devise another plan to eradicate the huma-~  
  
"Sir!" a clear-cut voice rang through the fortresses' intercom system, and Zim at first had forgotten that his faulty SIR unit would sometimes lapse into a more dependable robot slave.  
  
"What is it, GIR? Have the probes found anything? Tell me!" Zim spoke eagerly, back rigid, hands clenching the armrests with the force of a pit bull's bite.  
  
"They have, Sir!" the little automaton responded swiftly, "They have already started to download the requested information!"  
  
"Good work, GIR..it's good to see you not being so incredibly stupid for once.." mouth curling into a feral smile, Zim input various commands into his computer's keypads. Pressing a large circular button, several separate windows started to appear before him, each making a faint "blip!" noise at it was uploaded. "Let's see...one of the probes found a very cleverly hidden station..Excellent! The coordinates show that it's not far away..actually, it's..it's.."  
  
On the screen, there was a very odd looking home with a purple roof, a host of cheesy lawn ornaments dotting the front lawn. Zim slapped his forehead.  
  
"By Irk! This is ~our~ base!" eyebrows jerking simultaneously, Zim quickly viewed the rest of the pictures one by one, finding that each one was almost exactly identical. "GIR, why are all these images of the base?! I give you a simple order and you go mess it up!"  
  
In an instant's time frame, the very same robot Zim was seething at had zoomed into the war room, sitting on his lap with a guilt-stricken look on its face. Zim glared down at him, about ready to back-hand it off of his knees and into a pile of trash.  
  
"But, Master, I did what you told me to..I didn't even tell them to buy me food or stuffed pigs!!" he divulged with a whining tone of voice, his now blue-eyes sloped sorrowfully, "And looky! The last picture thingy isn't of the house, see?"  
  
Examining the photographs more carefully, Zim couldn't believe his alien eyes that what he was seeing could be true: it was a picture of some desolate sidewalk, the potholes in the ground as real as the horrible grey clouds above.  
  
"How can this be..I was not in this area on the date this picture was taken..it was taken just 3 hours ago and there's not even a building here, just a street.." he ruminated, scratching his soft, green flesh carelessly, not caring that every time he accidentally scraped one of his wiry feelers, it would send a minute jolt of pain through his entire body. "Computer, tell me if there were any life forms in this vicinity of this particular probe at the moment it collected this information! Also, see how much alien vestige is in the area..I want to make sure this piece of information is viable enough to pursue.."  
  
"Processing..the probe number 38643 has detected that there were 2 Earthinoids in documented area," a metallic voice answered in a matter of seconds, which did not shed any light on Zim's predicament. "1 possible alien artifact found."  
  
"2 worm-babies? I only see a blur of pavement..curse this planet's scummy weather conditions!" Zim scowled, livid with displeasure and not at all liking how his plan was slowly coming undone. "Computer, I don't ~see~ anything here! Are you sure the probe didn't make a mistake?"  
  
"Probe 38643 was in working condition at time of data retrieval."  
  
"There's nothing here! Nothing except cement and that little black spot in the top, left-hand corner of the screen!" Zim abruptly ceased his harangue, mouth agape at this sudden revelation. "Little black spot..what is that..Zoom out from that sector of the image, slowly!"  
  
An obscure blob of could at first been considered nothing insignificant suddenly became a bit of tire, which then turned into a tire belonging to some vehicle. Out of the blue, a black car emerged onto the screen, a small person just about to enter it, cloaked in an all-too familiar black trench coat.  
  
"Computer..is...is ~this~ the piece of Alien matter?!" Zim, for the first time in ages, felt a tremor of fear, not doubt, bore its way into his head, as a dry gulp rolled down his throat.  
  
"Cannot discern."  
  
"My suspicions might have been right after all...it felt all too...unnatural at first.." falling restlessly into his chair, fingers intertwined, Zim's eyes darted up to the picture that was causing him so much unease. "I never thought one could make their disguise so..eerily accurate.."  
  
He painstakingly remembered the first things that had crossed his mind when the girl had entered his classroom: ~She does not belong. ~ Everything about her was not human; she reeked of the abnormal with the same stench Zim himself permeated, although it went unnoticed to the ignorant. It surprised Zim that the Dib-human hadn't caught on as quickly as he did, but what could he expect? He ~was~ just another worm-baby, even if he had seen through what Zim considered to be a superior costume. She had entered and exited that particular Friday and been safe from discovery.  
  
"But no more.." Zim said, with a tint of anticipation rising within him, "I should have known better than to think such a prime target of the Irken Armada like Earth would have gone unnoticed by any other alien race.."  
  
"What's that?" GIR absentmindedly pointed at the screen, a puddle of drool formulating out at his metal feet, as he sat on the back of Zim's chair, head lolling about inanely like an idiotic sock puppet.  
  
"That GIR, is the Nel-human..our new rival.." entering a few commands so that the screen focused in on the girl's withdrawn face, Zim began to carefully inspect her features, and seemed not too impressed, "She's not much..but we can't let our guard down. It seems as if she's come into contact with the Dib-human; who knows what Earthly rubbish he's implanted in her mind..it's such a pity that another Alien race has to be subject to such an thick-headed example of the human-race..  
  
"Although I must say I find this a formidable challenge for my untouchable skills, I can't take any risks..if she is indeed not of this Earth's population, then I must find out her origins, and use that as lead to expose her weaknesses..weaknesses that will lead to her undoing..  
  
"This planet was assigned to me..it is mine for the taking, and no other legion will take it out of my hands, or else be crushed like giant..giant wiggly substances under the sole of my mighty boots! Look at them! Are they not mighty?"  
  
Shaking one of his feet defiantly in the air, GIR seemed to be at a loss for words, which for GIR wasn't that uncommon, as he was still looking at the screen, and not his Master.  
  
"GIR!" shouting the robot into obedience, Zim brought his elevated foot down with an unexpected stomp, "We have much to do, so much with such little time to waste doing wasteful stuff! Let us prepare.."  
  
"How about we just make some pie!" a pink tongue hanging from his mouth, GIR outstretched his arms emphatically. "We can make meat pie!"  
  
"No, GIR, we aren't going to make pie; we're going to the equipment room to prepare. Now let's go!" Zim ordered, marching over to the elevator. GIR gave a hearty sigh as he followed suite.  
  
"Awwww, but I love meat pie..." he whined with the drone only a half-witted robot could produce, as he stepped into the transport tube with his Master, the door nearly closing on his tail.  
  
Inside, Zim pondered his position with harsh scrutiny, lips pursed and eyes squinted as his mind went rapidly to work. The Tallest had been right to call him counterproductive at times, but no one could ever deny the fact that Zim possessed one of the most twisted and brooding brains of the entire Irken Empire; he was never one to leave any detail untouched, anal- retentive to a fault.  
  
~How did this piece of inferior trash go undetected..that's what I can't understand. My advanced technology should have traced any signals of otherworldly substance or matter at the point of landing..and why didn't the Tallest inform me of any potential threats to my secret mission? ~ the Irken thought, not paying attention to the spastic contraption that was GIR bouncing off the elevator walls noisily, squealing like a piglet. ~No Matter...I will dispose of this nuisance like the piece of galactic trash that it is, and teach her planet's leaders that no one call interfere with me, Zim!~  
  
A nefarious smile painted on his face with inks and paints of pure wickedness, Zim rubbed his hands evilly, wondering just how unprepared his opponent would be when the time came... 


	6. Chapter 5: Flash Flood

Chapter 5: Flash Flood  
  
Blocking out the tedious drumming of rain drops, Zim could still hear their voices, even at night while he slept at his computer, back uncomfortable and cramped, but still unwilling to sleep in the weak Earthinoid sleep- chambers. Like an obnoxious bird outside your bedroom window, these lonely cries refused to be silent, and tortured the Irken infinitely, late into the night and at all times during the day. Sometimes the higher powers would grant him solace, and the droning calls would be muted, an especially favorable reprieve when he was fabricating his next plot for world conquest. They would be a mere whisper, more quiet then a pin drop, and Zim would be left to his planning without the nuisance these constant voices brought.  
  
That happened infrequently at best.  
  
Now "they" were shouting a bombastic chorus of pain into his brain, pounding against the sides of his skull as he tried with all his earnest to cast the penetrating noise away. He focused all his attention to locating his target, the girl by the name "Nel," one last dire attempt to drown out the hindering din with his own iron-will. Hovering over his computer's keyboard, his ruby eyes clamped shut, Zim felt like tearing out his own eardrums, plunge himself into eternal hush so that he may evade this horrible symphony, one in which he was the only audience member.  
  
"Curse them..." he scowled, pounding a clenched fist onto the terminal, "How dare they delay me now! If only they were actually here..then they would face the wrath that is Zim!!! Just thinking of them causes my ears to burn like...like lumps of gastric acids!"  
  
Straining his brain over the last hour or so, Zim had been struggling to form a plan to obliterate his most recent enemy, but had so far his brain had only collected lint and dust, cobwebs lining his cerebral cortex instead of ingenious strategies. Even GIR happened to notice his master's vehemence, and was safe upstairs watching whatever brainless TV program struck his fancy; it could have been an infomercial for a bellybutton-lint remover and the robot would have been satisfied.  
  
And so Zim was alone with only his undesirable torment to keep him company.  
  
"I never thought in all my Irken years that their song would still be audible..." Zim said through gritting teeth, rapidly typing at his console, as thousands of alien symbols cluttered the screen. "But I will not let their destroyed existence cause me such undo annoyance, not while I have other things to ponder...  
  
"Those damned pieces of filth..not even worthy to be commandeered by the Irken Empire..."  
  
Insults would do little to cease the nonstop clatter that flooded his aching brain. He wondered if it only worsened his problems, and he slammed the desk once more. How long had he been toiling over this internal nuisance? When had he first heard their song?  
  
For as long as Zim could remember..  
  
He could recall the day in which his Tallest decided to eradicate the entire Tristanum race..the day the Irken Empire had first tasted defeat..  
  
Such a disgusting, peace-loving species..they had left themselves open to attack, with their non-warring ways, always believing in other options besides those that would shed blood and scar the land. They symbolized everything the Irkens despised; they were caring, moral, and honest.  
  
So calm...resolute in their thrones of serenity, the perfect opposite to the helm of chaos the Irkens commanded. And even ~with~ their passive attitude they had evaded capture and demolition by the hands of his Tallest's Empire at every turn, without ever opening fire, just as an entire nation of humans had ~somehow~ dodged their own impending doom!  
  
They reminded him ~so~ much of the human race, the very same species he was trying with all his fervent might to vanquish. Their semblance to the humans was shown through their devotion to such simple virtues.  
  
So alike that it made his stomach squirm and flesh ripple.  
  
And yet...so very un-human.  
  
Their actions were so preprogrammed, like a robot. They had never questioned why they never picked up guns or cannons to retaliate. And even though they exuded love for all that surrounded them, it almost seemed hallow, not like the hunger the Irken's held for domination, or the lust humanity held for power and independence. It was as if they ~had~ to love..they would die without it..  
  
They just lived, never wondering why...never stopping to question their own existence.  
  
No emotions. No feelings. No free will. Not human. Not even remotely human now that Zim stopped to think about it.  
  
The Tristanums the ones that were truly alien.  
  
Zim hated that most of all. He felt a vein in his forehead begin to protrude with anger.  
  
Impulsively, Zim's mind summoned the very day the Irken Armada had flown to the planet Triste, how they had hovered over the small ball of water and soil, like gigantic birds of prey. While not a part of this particular attack fleet--he had been astonished as to why he had been excluded, but the Tallest had later told him that such a pathetic race was not worthy of his "superior" Invader skills-- Zim had heard how not a single shot had been sent from the planet's surface, not one shell of ammunition or blast from a laser-beam.  
  
And then the leaders of the Irken fleet had heard the voices-the song of Triste. It was like an invisible force forcing its way through the layers of protective gas surrounding the planet, effortlessly flying up into the intruding Armada. None of the Irkens had been prepared for this..this was no physical mortar colliding into their ships. But it was there nonetheless, and in a matter of minutes, all of the Irken's involved with the conquest were soon dead, with not a single wound apparent on their green bodies. The ships hung in space for days until they finally slipped through the upper stratosphere and collided into the planet..hundreds of gigantic vessels plummeting towards the Tristanums. None of the Irkens were alive to see their targets screaming and trying to flee their condemned planet.  
  
It was said that only a single, small craft carrying a tiny portion of that world's population was able to escape. In the end, the Irkens could have claimed victory if they felt it necessary...but the loss of an entire regiment was impossible to overlook, and the Irkens had no one left to hate; that one faction of Triste's people had blinked out of existence.  
  
The Irken Empire, after the rubble and dust had been cleared, had not been the ones responsible for snuffing out that candle of life.  
  
Zim felt himself writhing with fever, a rage that was fueled by his own pride and dignity for his people..for his Empire. How could such a pathetic, un-demanding and submissive race of...of....space debris defeat the inhabitants of Irk?!  
  
The answer had come years later, when a small division of the whitewashed fleet was retrieved from the remains of Triste, now reduced to the size of a small moon.  
  
Using the gift of technology, Zim's people had been able to discover the one weapon the Tristanums had yielded..that song..an influence so powerful that it had relaxed the minds of all the Irkens attacking their planet, slowing down all processes of the body to the point of bereavement. No one could escape this deadly, and yet non-violent assault...not even the previously undefeated Irkens.  
  
Had their arrogance deluded them? Was it their own fault that they had suffered such a humiliating downfall? Zim looked down at the ground, mind distraught, wondering if he was destined to meet this same disappointment....would he fail...all the other Invaders were so much farther ahead than he..  
  
"Master, why you so saaad?"  
  
A boisterous voice shattered Zim's jagged stream of consciousness, and he left his world of memories to find GIR standing before him, a look of absolute ignorance plastered across its face. The Irken's mind felt dull and sluggish at first, as if he had been asleep, but he soon overcame this zombie-fied state, eyes slanting with sullenness.  
  
"GIR, how many times do I have to tell you? Do ~not~ bother me while I'm working! You're more annoying then that piece of Membrane-filth, Dib!" Zim snapped, and the robot recoiled in fear for having the dead weight of his master's animosity dropped on his tiny head. "Now...if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to formulating a plan to rid myself of the Nel-human...or...or..whatever she is..  
  
"How do I discover that slime-child's home planet..I have no clues of her origin...that is, not yet..Damnit all...at this rate I'll never secure this planet's doom by the hands of the Irken Empire..."  
  
"YAAAYYY!!" GIR screamed as he threw his hands up into the air.  
  
"No, GIR, not "yay!" This is no time for a worm-baby celebration! We need to concentrate! We need to locate and destroy the target!"  
  
Zim had been looming over her digitized picture for hours on end, all through Saturday and now into Sunday's noontime, processing scores of information additional probes had collected. But so far, all the data had been irrelevant, telling him things he already knew...  
  
"Master! How about I sing you a song?" the automaton intruded once more into Zim's pool of thoughts, "It'll be a pretty song! Preeeetttteeeeee!!!"  
  
"I don't want to hear one of your stupid so.."  
  
His mouth froze half-shut, as the realization struck him like the bolts of lightning that were littering the daytime skies.  
  
~No...the last faction was lost in space...it could never have...unless...Roswell..~  
  
GIR could not understand his master's insane laughter as Zim ran through the house, towards the weapon's room. But then again, there wasn't much that GIR understood to begin with.  
  
  
  
  
  
Dib had never felt so miserable in his life. Well, there was that time that someone had given him such a horrendous wedgie that he couldn't speak for the next 3 hours..but this was a different sort of misery, one that couldn't be seen on the outside.  
  
He was cold..that was superficial as well..but it didn't help matters at all. Walking back to his home, with only his blue t-shirt to shield him from the elements, was clearly not the smartest of things to do during a rain storm..why had he been so stupid back then? Reassessing the situation, Dib realized at the time it had seemed like a noble thing to do, to offer his coat to that girl. She had incited some hidden feeling within him that he could only describe as pity. But was pity alone enough of a reason to lend out his coat to some stranger? Some girl that had just walked into his life?  
  
No...he didn't think it was..  
  
Something awful had been brewing within him the moment he had met the girl, the first day she had walked into his classroom...had it been only 2 days ago? It felt like he had known her for an eternity.  
  
Was it her face, so shy and reserved? Her eyes, so doleful, slanted with the weight of some previous despair?  
  
What was it about Nel that made Dib feel so insecure..like he could be doing things differently..like he ~should~ be doing things differently. Curled atop his bed, still clothed in his soaking wet clothing, he could still sense the stinging feeling that had shot through his entire arm the moment he had touched her face. It was like holding a block of ice in you hand until it grew so numb, that if a rusty knife had sliced through it, you wouldn't have been the wiser.  
  
His throat was so dry..  
  
"I'm getting really tired of trying to escape from myself...there's no much that I don't understand.." he said dryly, head throbbing from the cold, "Why do I even bother to fight it...to fight the inevitable..."  
  
~Because you're afraid..~  
  
"Afraid..afraid of what?" he turned onto his back; he realized that he was actually talking to himself now; maybe he was the insane freak his classmates thought he was. "Why do I keep going on..what's the use when no one cares about what you're doing, Dib? Is it all an excuse to feel important?"  
  
This time a voice from inside did not reply. Dib felt alone once more.  
  
"She's just like I was; maybe..maybe that's why I feel so bad...it won't be long before assholes like Torque start picking on her too..." he continued his monologue silently, as owls hooted and the last of the crickets chirped, the woeful hymn of the night. One would think it the perfect backdrop for his inner soliloquy. "Why had I been such a prick to her in the beginning...I'm not like the others..."  
  
~Keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day you'll believe it, fool.~  
  
"No..no, I'm not one of them. I'm not," Dib hissed, angry that his own mind would turn on him like that. It was his to control, his thoughts, his feelings..but did he even have those: feelings? "I want to believe it. Hell, I want to believe more than anything else in this fucked up world."  
  
~Then stop denying yourself..~  
  
"Denying myself of what, pray tell?" frustration building like a snowball descending a mountain's slopes, Dib closed his eyes, breathes becoming hot and agitated.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Oh...that," he smiled, a sardonic smile that simply reeked of irony, "..her..."  
  
He had said before that he was sick and freaking tired of being lonely, that he had wanted someone, anyone..Dib would have been happy with a rock with ears. That and appreciation, and emotions. Screw the rock. He wanted a person.  
  
And now he had this opportunity, this once in a lifetime chance to claim for his own. And what was he doing: Twiddling his stupid thumbs in bed. Dib couldn't help but laugh. It was a pointless laugh, though, a travesty.  
  
"What if she liked me..I'm such a weirdo, she'd probably be disgusted if she knew that all I did day and night was dream up ways to put Zim on an autopsy table," commenting wryly, Dib rolled his eyes. "But..it would be nice if...if for once..."  
  
~If you had a friend, right?"  
  
"Yeah...a friend," the words almost didn't come out, Dib was so afraid to say them, as if he were staring into the face of an enormous beast.  
  
~But you also want to be a friend to someone...not just have a friend, don't you? You want to mean something...~  
  
"Wonder what that feels like," a gush of wind pressed itself against the Membrane household, and all the walls began to groan. Dib didn't give it a bit of his concern; the conflict within had stolen all of his attention.  
  
~You want to feel something other then emptiness?~  
  
"I'm all too familiar with that; it's like a next door neighbor that's never moving away..there's no use trying to get rid of it.." Dib sighed again for what seemed the hundredth time that evening. "I don't deserve feeling anything else."  
  
~Aren't you lonely now?~  
  
"I've forgotten everything else ~but~ that....what does it matter..."  
  
His throat was still so dry. Dib didn't understand why until a single tear rolled off his cheek.  
  
~Do you like being alone?~  
  
"Not always."  
  
~You want the loneliness to go away. You don't want to be alone anymore. Just admit it...~  
  
"No shit, Sherlock..but what can I do...I'm Dib...that's all I'll ever amount to..." Dib didn't bother to grab a tissue; he just let the tears flow like a river of sorrow.  
  
~Just take it in your hand...just this once...~  
  
"I can't...I don't know how..."  
  
~Why not?~  
  
"Because..because I.." Dib choked, clenching his blanket like he had the night before, not understanding anything, except for the cold, harsh certainty that couldn't deal with such unused emotions..that he was a victim to it.  
  
~Because you're weak...you're nothing like her...she at least wanted to know your name..~  
  
"Yes, I'm weak...but what's the use of knowing that now...if I've known that for so long.."  
  
He twisted in place, his face smashing into his pillow, completely immersed into the cotton material. Already he could feel the water dripping and saturating the fabric, but the tears just kept on coming.  
  
"What do I do.."  
  
This time the voice did not return. Even the nighttime sounds had disappeared to leave the air stagnant and lifeless.  
  
If anyone had seen him during the entire spectacle, he would have been in the Crazy House for Boys in seconds flat. He must have looked so feeble, crying in his bed like never before...the only time he had been so sad had been that day his mother had...  
  
"Why..she doesn't mean anything.." throat scratchy, Dib sniffed a little, "But then again...what do I know ..what a joke.."  
  
Dib felt like laughing again.  
  
Instead, it just hurt. 


	7. Chapter 6: Cloudburst

Chapter 6: Cloudburst  
  
The sterile walls seemed to be repressing Nel as she sat nervously on her Rose Room bed, swinging her legs back and forth rhythmically, her heels barely tapping the cold floor with each sway. She had been assigned to remain here for such a long amount of time...usually one of the scientists would have at least taken her to one of the several isolation rooms to be tested. It was there that all of her most significant memories had been etched, never from the world that lay beyond this facility. Heart palpitating, the noiseless girl fought to contain to anxiety, to allay her fears.  
  
She pulled the black trench coat around her like a security blanket, and gave a momentary shudder. A click suddenly emitted from the only door; Nel felt herself jump unthinkingly, eyes flashing alive. In the dim glow, only the slight outline of her visitor was visible, cast off the light that shone from the hallway outside. Her eyes began to hurt from strain, and she turned herself away haphazardly.  
  
That was her first mistake.  
  
"Humph..Jerking your head away!" a voice cracked into and through the tangible silence like an ice pick, and Nel could barely prepare herself for the rough hand that soon fell upon her wind-chapped cheeks.  
  
The sting of the woman's slap was agonizing, and her throat collapsed on itself as she tried to cry. But crying wasn't an option here, and Nel found that she was afraid to look up in fear of seeing the face that was glowering overhead.  
  
"Those pitiful, so-called scientists obviously haven't instilled the virtue of discipline within you...you...you ingrate!" as the voice rose with tension, like some horrible crescendo of impending doom, Nel quickly scrambled to her feet. Standing before her bed with knees shaking, she managed to perform a swift curtsy; Nel tucked her left foot behind her and dipped her head down, never letting her eyes leave the woman before her. "Much better.."  
  
"Mother..may I...may I see your face?" voice scarcely mounting a whisper, Nel should have known better to ask such a foolish question out of turn.  
  
"My face? Why should you need that...This is strange for you Nel.." her mother's voice seemed to edge onto curiosity, as the tall, imposing figure began to walk forward, towards the low light the solitary, oval-shaped ceiling window permitted. Nel stood fast, nerves racing like thousands of grey-hounds bounding across a race track. Only a few inches away, the woman reached a long-fingered hand out, carefully thumbing the girl's swollen cheek. "Have I hurt you Nel..has mommy hurt you?"  
  
Nel had never heard her mother speak like this; her tone had undergone a drastic metamorphosis. Her mother's touch was unexpectedly kind and loving, and Nel felt that she was finally subject to the thoughtfulness a mother should have for her child.  
  
"Mother, why can't I see your face..." Nel placed her hand upon her mother's, fingers interlocking as soon slowly let her head nuzzle against the woman's side. Her fear a thing of the past, Nel found that she was slowly being embraced, and she found the emotions within forcing their way out.  
  
"Nel..why are you crying?" arms encircling the shivering and weeping girl, the shadow-cloaked figure belatedly realized the garment her daughter was wearing. She kneaded the black fabric between the thumb and forefinger of her right hand, smoky eyes slitting like those of a snake. "Where..where did you get this coat? It was not issued to you from anyone in this building!"  
  
Nel lost all desire to see her mother's visage now, as she sensed the woman's ire take shape. It had taken all the years of her life to finally receive such tender affections, and now they had been washed away in the blink of an eye; it seemed like a wasted effort now. She had forgotten to hide the boy's jacket, to stuff it underneath her mattress, and Nel could not help but feel incredibly stupid.  
  
"Where did you get that jacket, Nel?" words piercing the girl's heart, the woman bitterly released Nel, pushing her away like some ragged doll. She then rushed forward, like a lunging cougar, and her daughter fell back in terror, stumbling on a disheveled pile of bed sheets. The mother did not spout any feelings of comfort now, as Nel tumbled onto the pitiless ground, the small of her back nearly cracking as it collided with the white tiles. "Get up!!!"  
  
"Mother, please don't hurt me!!!" Nel finally shrieked aloud, holding a feeble hand in front of her face. But the woman clawed through this shield of flesh, as Nel felt herself being lifted off the ground by the front of the black trench coat. Face colorless with fear, she thrashed about wildly, arms whipping about, trying without abandon to free herself. But this only caused the woman to tighten her grip, moving her cold fingers so that they were actually wrapped about the girl's thin neck, slowly crushing her wind pipe. Choking for air, legs and arms falling lifelessly, Nel could feel her skin turn grey with suffocation.  
  
And it was then that Nel finally saw the face of her mother, the face that appeared less human and more bestial. Her eyes were razor thin, the pupils black like beetles. The lines of her skin were chiseled, like an unfeeling statue. Nel could see her mother's teeth grinding like two gears of a clock mashing together. Her face was blazing and livid with wrath, a craze that could only consume the heart of an enraged parent, disappointed with their child, their progeny, their only proof that they had existed.  
  
"My ~other~ daughter would have loved me, Nel! She would have loved me and I would have loved her!" bellowing louder then a crashing waterfall, the frighteningly powerful woman did not lessen her hold, the girl's pulse racing fast under her constricting fingers. "What have I done to you, Nel?! I loved you like no one else could! I loved you and you shot it back at me!!! Who have you been seeing? Could they ever give you love like I have given you?!!!"  
  
"M-Mother!!!" Nel gasped for air again, head spinning from the lack of oxygen to her brain, hands groping at her mother's, trying to pry herself loose. "I..I..."  
  
Throat burning and the world rapidly slipping away, Nel resigned herself, giving in to her mother's animosity. She closed her eyes, no longer fighting.  
  
It was bound to happen. Ever since her birth, she had been compared to this ~other~ Nel, a person she simply could not best. How many times had her mother screamed into her face like this...it didn't matter..this would be the last time.  
  
"The other Nel was so much better then you!" spit flying into Nel's blanched face, the woman suddenly threw her daughter to the floor, and she lay there unmoving. But Nel could feel a shred of life still nestled in her worn body, although she refused to stir, hoping that assailant would leave her like this...maybe she would die afterwards...the thought seemed almost pleasant. "Get your hands off of me, uncouth dog!!!"  
  
Nel blinked her eyes. Her mother had fallen back, as if she was being pulled away, but the girl's vision was too blurry, obscured by dizziness and fatigue.  
  
"I said, get off of me!!! This is my daughter, ~mine~ you here!!!" the howls of the enraged mother were becoming less and less noticeable, dying in the distance as the only door to the Rose Room was slammed shut. The girl lay still..there was still someone in the room...  
  
"Nel....Nel are you okay?!"  
  
Her fingers twitched at the sound of another, less violent, voice.  
  
"She's gone...your mother's gone.."  
  
Her neck was incredibly sore from the mad woman's vice-like grasp; Nel was sure that there would be five, highly visible red lines on her skin for days. An excruciating pain was locked within her chest again, like before, but much worse now...was she dead? Was the voice she heard a dream?  
  
"Dib..." senses hazy, Nel sputtered out a single word, her mouth hung open. Another pair of hands propped her up against her bed, and Nel finally reopened her eyes, but found that the boy from skool was not there. It was a man...tall with broad-shoulders. But she couldn't discern any other features...the darkness was consuming her like a ravenous horde of locusts engulfing a field.  
  
"Try not to speak, Nel...we've got to get your injuries checked on.." the man placed a single, gloved finger against her lips, "Lord, I hope your body doesn't recede again...  
  
"I-I need to return this to Dib," nodding with sleepiness, Nel touched the collar of the borrowed coat, but she could no longer stay awake, as her hand soon fell to her side afterwards.  
  
Her eyes shut thereafter, long eyelashes brushing against pasty skin, face shining bright with the light of the moon overhead, as the man in the room cradled her head in his arms gently.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
All children hate skool on Mondays; it's almost a universal law.  
  
Right now, Dib felt like he loathed it more then any other person, dead or alive, as he trudged along the sidewalk towards his bus stop. Hopefully he wouldn't miss it like he had all last week. The conversation he had experienced the night before had left Dib terribly irresolute, and he had no way of planning his next few moves, not when he was so damn unsure. He wasn't even certain of his own feelings.  
  
~Am I just lonely..is this all just trick, put on by my loneliness..~ pensive, his eyes pointed towards the dull cement below him, Dib was barely making sure that he didn't stray off into the middle of the road, his instinct leading him. ~Or is this a genuine need...God, I sound so fucking melodramatic...~  
  
He had never questioned his feelings before because the need had never been there. Everyday was the same as the last, trying at all times to thwart Zim's plans. Why was he always reminding himself of this?  
  
Could it be he was able to do so much more? That his life ~wasn't~ one long, monotonous cycle?  
  
Dib shrugged inattentively, knowing that his sister, who almost always accompanied him to and from skool, whether she like it or not, wouldn't pay any attention to anything he said or did. He was cloaked from society's eyes, like some phantom, one that would only become visible when someone needed to be picked on or ridiculed. Every community needed a freak, and Dib played the part so well it hurt. To be quite frank, Dib didn't mind it that much...at least they noticed him, even if it was for a less then favorable reason.  
  
Why was he satisfied with this? His own voice had interrogated him, asking him the same questions, questions that seemed so easy to answer, but in fact led only to further confusion.  
  
~What do I do?~ he asked himself again, wondering if his little advisor would be there to guide him, but it was vain; silence was the only response.  
  
His heart felt like it was being stabbed over and over again, but there was no knife, no blade being thrust into him. But the pain was still there, the pain you felt when a thousand mistakes were finally being realized for the first time. He clenched his chest, as if the wounds were actually physical, that he could remove his torment by removing the knife.  
  
But there was no knife.  
  
Only the pain.  
  
~What good are feelings if I can't comprehend them...~ Dib thought, as he then crossed his arms, so unused to not wearing his characteristic coat. He felt naked without it, and yearned to retrieve it from the very same girl that was the cause of all this mess. ~It's all her fault...~  
  
But Dib knew that wasn't true...was there even anyone to blame now? Or was this all meant to happen, ordained in some wicked god's book of fate? Dib felt a knot growing in his stomach, thin arms moving to rub his belly.  
  
"Hey, Stupid..." his sister called to him by one of his more popular names, and he halted abruptly, "Isn't that the girl from your class?"  
  
"Huh?" Dib raised an eyebrow inquisitively, as he looked in the direction Gaz was pointing with one, uninterested hand, quickly going back to her Game Slave. As his vision followed an invisible path along the walkway, it stopped at a pair of slippered feet, and then trailed upwards along two thin legs, legs that belonged to the girl he couldn't explain. "Nel?"  
  
She stood there timidly, stepping to the side as Gaz passed by, muttering a diminutive "excuse me," a small bundle of black fabric held closely to her body. Dib fought the irresistible urge to snatch back what was his. Why was he always meeting her when he least expected it? Moving towards the adamant girl, Dib saw that the girl had some sort of bandage covering her neck, and he wondered what had happened; she had seemed fine just the other day.  
  
"I've...I've been thinking about you these past few days.." pent up words finally surfacing, Dib refused to look foolish....he couldn't hide any longer, not behind any wall.  
  
"Thinking?" Nel seemed peculiarly stunned, clutching his belonging to her chest, as she averted her eyes, unable to meet his gaze with her own. She felt her bruised cheek blush red, hoping that her nervousness wasn't too noticeable.  
  
~Say it, Dib...you've got this one shot...~  
  
"I mean...Nel..." Dib felt like kicking himself. Why couldn't he say it? What force was he fighting now? "I..I..you..."  
  
~Do it, Dib...don't you deserve this chance?~  
  
Nel couldn't see the fight that was raging within Dib's complicated mind, didn't understand why he was stuttering like a machine gun. Trying to read his expression, the girl was at a loss at what to think and what to say.  
  
"What I'm trying to say is..." Dib tried to start over, taking a deep breath, clearing his throat, which had become hoarse with nervous tension.  
  
~Do you love her, Dib?~  
  
Years of solitude numbing his mind, Dib clawed for the words to say, but found he could not do anything but trip head first over his apprehension.  
  
~Do you?~  
  
"Nel...Do you..do you.."  
  
~SAY IT~  
  
"Do you have any friends..I mean.." Dib felt his arms becoming heavy, his whole body weighed down by this continuous struggle to be seen and recognized..to be love by someone that possibly didn't even know the meaning of that affection.  
  
~Do you want to be the one to show her?~  
  
"Dib...what are you trying to say?" Nel finally said, as she finally looked into his eyes.  
  
That was all he needed...  
  
"Nel...I love you.."  
  
A figurative upper-cut was delivered into Nel's stomach as the air seemed to be sucked from her lungs, the enormous weight of those three little words worked their magic on her. But she did not run. And she did not look away, but instead allowed her eyes to remain locked with Dib's. Her heart skipped a beat. To the girl this seemed like a fantasy, a dream that would never come true.  
  
But he had said it.  
  
"Love..love?" Nel repeated the word several times, a deep, crimson tint now covering her face. Dib was sure that his skin was the same, if not worse. He felt sweat beginning to build up in his arm pits and palms, worried that he had said all the wrong words, that he was going to be cast off, like so many times before. Now that he really thought about it, he felt like he was doing all the wrong things. What had he been smoking? How could she ever love him...him, a social reject! What good could he bring to her life, Dib thought frantically, hands suddenly trembling.  
  
It was then that Dib realized that Nel was offering his trench coat back to him.  
  
~This is it, say good bye to your one chance, Dib..you sure as hell screwed things up..~ he dreaded, worried that he might faint any moment now, as he adjusted his glasses incessantly.  
  
"I...I want ..." arms raised, Nel felt waves of uneasiness crawl along her skin and into every fiber of her being. She bit her lower lip, so tightly that it almost drew blood. "I want to be loved...by you.."  
  
"Y-you do?" Dib thought he had strayed into his own dreams, like he had left the world behind him. If he was indeed dreaming, half of him didn't want to wake from this reverie...the other half strained to awaken, to find out if what she had just spoken wasn't just some made-up delusion.  
  
"I love you.." Nel continued, her voice cowering and low, as she tentatively watched the boy take the coat out of her thin hands. Dib swore he could see the smallest of smiles on the girl's face.  
  
His confidence building with renewed hope, Dib now realized that this was no mere illusion. He slowly unfolded his coat, slipping it over his shoulders, and as if it had magical properties, he felt whole once more. Cautiously putting a hand on her shoulder, Dib squeezed it tenderly, feeling her skin warm to his touch. He looked into her eyes again.  
  
No words could explain what he felt, the feelings that coursed through his mind and up and down his body, and the utter disbelief that he was experiencing. His mouth became dry once more, but this time out of pure happiness, the inability to speak now welcome with open arms. Dib didn't need to say anything else...and he suspected Nel felt the same way, for she mimicked his action, mechanically placing a hand on his own shoulder. She traced a finger slowly up his neck and along the smooth curve of his chin, and Dib ignored the fact that he was going to be missing the bus once more. He let himself to be touched by this girl..by this glorious child..so innocent and mysterious. It was as if she gave him purpose.  
  
Dib realized he was starting to like Mondays..... 


	8. Chapter 7: Clearing of Day

Chapter 7: Clearing of Day  
  
Zim looked up from his pair of Irken binoculars, the metal contraption encasing the entire upper portion of his head. Hidden in a large bush, no one could see the particularly devious grin plastered across his green face, or how his eyes sparkled with the craving to destroy the happiness his greatest rival had just achieved.  
  
"I remember once when I had to deal with this stupid human emotion..the one called 'love'.." his tongue flicked rapidly like a serpent's, "Such a disgusting waste of time is this trivial feeling..why love when you could rather obliterate!"  
  
The Irken Tak, who had attempted to steal ~his~ planet..He remembered that overzealous brat all too well. She had seduced the filthy Dib-human, his future slave, all while ignoring Zim's attempts to woo. The Invader knew how powerful love was, and how it bewitched the mind. But in the end, Dib had escaped its clutches, or at least it seemed. Somehow, every time, he was able to escape eminent doom!  
  
Angrily balling his hands, Zim then turned back to his keen observations, and noticed that Dib had already walked away with the young girl. He spat crossly, putting away his alien spying device. It folded in on itself several times, until it was only a small cube, tiny enough to be stuffed into the pocket of his Irken uniform.  
  
"He's gone..but no matter, I know all that I need to!" he grinned again, as he stood from his leafy alcove, a twig embedded in his black hairpiece. Wrenching it out, the Irken followed the same path the human's had taken, jotting down a couple, concise notes. "Dib..you and your foolish, pathetic, mushy human feelings will lead to your destruction..I guarantee it..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A spit ball soared through the air like a cannonball, arching in the sky, and gracefully falling towards its unsuspecting target. Giving a chuckle, Torque waited in anticipation, straw still in hand.  
  
With a disgusting, moist "splat!" it collided into Dib's head, as strands of saliva started to run down the sides of his face. Torque, along with the rest of his goons, erupted into laughter, holding their thick sides; but their amusement was short lived, as the jeers died down unexpectedly.  
  
Dib was smiling.  
  
"Duh..what's wrong with Dib?" Torque said as he scratched his dirty blond hair, "Why's he not acting all stupid and stuff, duh?"  
  
"I don't know, maybe he just, like, became so retarded, his brain melted..." midnight blue hair draped about her face, Sarah gruffly placed her hands on her hips. "Look at him! Like, what a weirdo!!"  
  
The truth was, Torque could have assaulted him with a thousand spit balls- or paper airplanes, or pencils, or bricks- and it wouldn't have dazed him in the littlest way. That goofy smile bolted onto his mouth, Dib's mind had left skool entirely, and was wandering somewhere between the upper stratosphere and the moon. The spit-saturated projectile finally fell onto his desk, next to his finger, and Dib finally noticed then that his face was mildly coated with the fluids from inside Torque's fat face. Giving a half-hearted frown, he used the back of his hand to wipe the goo away, before returning to his wonderful day-dreaming. The rest of the walk to skool had been an experience comparable to winning the lottery for Dib, his hand tentatively reaching for Nel's. They hadn't said anything since arriving at skool, most likely out of wracked nerves. But now all Dib could anticipate was for the clock to strike 3, so that he could leave and go walk home with Nel...his Nel. A butterfly flapped its wings of edginess in his gut, as Dib thought of all the things that could transpire now. Dib couldn't disregard the fact that Nel wasn't the first girl he had liked...maybe even loved..that title belonged to Tak. But she had played with his feelings, as if he were some marionette. Of course now his feelings for her had crumbled like a piece of stale bread, but they had been there at one time or another; Dib regretted ever having these misguided sensations of love and curiosity.  
  
But Nel wasn't like Tak..she was ~so~ unlike Tak. Reserved and quiet...he almost wondered how they came to meet, what with her unbreakable shyness. Every time she called his name, his mouth would instantly twist into a smile, as if by reflex, a dormant instinct that had just been uncovered. He wondered if he was smiling at that moment; his whole mind was numb with euphoria.  
  
Zim leaned over his desk, carefully observing Dib's unusual behavior. By this time, on any normal day, the paranormalist would be hollering about how the Earth's only hero should be treated with more respect, not used as target-practice. Only the eerie Ms. Bitters could extinguish his maniacal rants, her scowl being terrible enough to make a moose drop dead.  
  
~Note..pain and usual torture methods seem to have miniscule effect on the worm-baby...~ his brow furrowing broodingly, the Irken worried that whatever hurt he could and ~would~ inflict upon his nemesis would be ignored or, even worse, scoffed away. ~I must find a way to mar his dim-witted self while under this repulsive infatuation..~  
  
Sitting down in his crumbling chair, Zim simply could not understand how one single emotion, how such a little thing like love could leave a person so defenseless, so open to attack. But then again, he had thought the same about the Tristanum race; how they had seemed so frail..but he knew the results of the Irken's hastiness..  
  
And now he was going against one of the inhabitant's of Triste. He would have to carry extra precautions for this undertaking. How was he to confront such an exceptional foe? Her disguise and demeanor created a guise of weakness...Zim had already deduced that she was trying to hoodwink him, but no mere façade had the ability to elude the high-minded alien. The corners of his mouth tugging into a cruel smirk, he wondered if the girl knew of his position, that he was fully aware of her lineage..  
  
Oblivious to Zim's cut-throat glare, Nel was drearily staring through the skool windows, at the bleak skies that had dominated the firmament. Once in a while, she would reach over and lightly tap Dib on his shoulder, just to see his smile as he twisted around in his chair.  
  
Nel found it too hard to concentrate now. There was so much to contemplate.  
  
Carefully stroking her neck, the brown-eyed girl, clothed once more in her dress of periwinkle, could still hear the tenacious screams of her mother, and how she had gripped Nel so viciously, her entire body writhing in pain. She closed her eyes for a moment...just for a moment as the anguish flooded her mind. Was she free from this daily routine of suffering and misery, or had she simply been given a short reprieve?  
  
The other person had said that her mother was gone, but for how long?  
  
Nel slouched in her seat, as she dolefully watched the hands of the clock slowly make their way around their circular path, wondering if her life was nothing more than a loop, destined to repeat itself evermore. Refusing to sulk like a piece of dead meat, she instead straightened her back once more; her spine was becoming cramped from the drooping position she had been assuming.  
  
~Love...I said I loved you Dib..~ she thought to herself, as a bird flew to the window sill, staring at her thoughtfully, as if it were trying to assuage her tensions. ~But..do I know that means? I-I don't want to hurt...I've hurt so many..~  
  
She admitted that on more then one occasion, she had seriously doubted her ability to feel, and to show feelings. But she felt pain day by day, whether it was another horrible laboratory test or a simple head-ache. Nel hated to say that the only person that had shown her love had no face to her, just an empty shadow with a voice box. What good were feelings if she had no one to show them to?  
  
But now she had this someone, a face and a voice, combined to a make a body and soul, both which inhabited a person..this boy..Dib. Smiling, Nel let her sleepy head rest on the table, wondering where these new found emotions would lead her.  
  
Love.  
  
Nel had never known a more precious thing.  
  
Outside, a small hole appeared in the ceiling of grey clouds. A fragile streak of yellow sunlight shot through like a magical bullet or arrow..a single warrior battling against an angry mob. Sometimes the hole would momentarily close, shutting off the sunlight's flow, but it returned afterwards, more vibrant than ever. It was so inspiring to her! She had never before felt so alive.. treading on the edge between new feelings, both incredible and horrible..and Nel, even if she didn't...even if she ~couldn't~....admit to it, welcomed and wanted them..but more than anything, she needed them.  
  
Need...had she ever ~needed~ anyone before..a single entity that could give her new meaning? Something other then her life inside that accursed building? Nel chuckled; she had never felt rebellious towards the scientists...it almost felt like a sort of childish liberation.  
  
Never before, had she felt such a strong urge to be free. In the past, she had been yielding and submissive to her benefactors...to her mother. A tremble of guilt shook her conscience. No matter how much she had hated, no matter how much she had feared her mother..she was still her mother..and she had done something so atrocious to cause such an incensed hatred within that woman.  
  
Nel shook her head as it remained on top of her folded arms. She supposed that she could never be entirely free from the blame..in some way, she was guilty till the end.  
  
The bird flew away from its post, and Nel gave a long, drawn-out sigh.  
  
The second hand of the mounted clock swung into home base, as the annoyingly shrill bell announced the end of an extraordinarily long school day. Dib instantly jumped to his feet, snatching up his books and haphazardly shoving them into his back pack. A thousand thoughts were littering his already cluttered head, and Dib couldn't simply concentrate on a single one. Turning around to face Nel, he immediately noticed the pensive gaze gripping her face. His smile dropped, as he let his skool supplies fall to the ground.  
  
"Nel?" his voice rose with concern, "Are you okay?"  
  
"Huh? Oh...yes...everything is alright.." Nel spoke in her usual, monotone voice, a whisper that only Dib could hear. But he wasn't satisfied with her response, worried that he had taken things too quickly, that she was having second thoughts. She had only known him for a few days. "Dib..."  
  
Slowly caressing his face, that effortless touch enough to calm his mightiest fears, Dib relaxed, as they exited the classroom, an overly curious Ms. Bitters leering over them, rubbing her dry hands together menacingly.  
  
"They're all doomed...doomed...doomed..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
By the time Dib and Nel had left the skool building, sunlight had one the better hand in its battle with the sun. Dominating the sky, Nel couldn't help but relish in the warm light as it bathed her gentle face. And Dib wanted to soak in every part of her visage, every strand of hair that became rich in color with the beaming luminosity.  
  
He wanted her.  
  
Her voice did things to him that no mere fantasy could cause, and he wasn't ashamed of it. How could he be? Any sane guy felt this way about a girl at some point in their life; it was only natural that Dib's time was a little earlier then most. Lonely since the death of his mother, the boy never had a soul to confide in, an ear that was willing to listen, and a heart that could share his troubles and joys.  
  
"Um, Nel, can I ask you something..." Dib spoke in hushed tones, though they were alone. He wanted so badly to just hold her hand, but resisted, waiting until he knew he was welcome to do so....there was no way in hell that he was going to screw this up.  
  
Walking alongside the bespectacled boy, Nel remained silent, and nodded her head in response; several locks of golden hair that had been tucked behind her ear fell out of place as she did so.  
  
"Nel..what do you see in me...I mean, what makes you like me?" shoving his hands into the pockets of his trench coat, Dib nervously gazed at the girl out of the corner of his eye. Hesitantly, he tucked the loose strands of hair back, her oval glasses sliding down the length of her petite nose. "You don't have to answer it if you don't want to..."  
  
"It's alright," Nel replied finally, after Dib pulled his hand away. She herself had been pondering this very same question ever since this morning, or perhaps ever since her first day of school. She knew it, the moment she had sat behind Dib, clear as day that this boy was different. He reminded her of something she couldn't quite place...Nel guessed that confusion had led her at first, but afterwards, something else had replaced it...  
  
"Well?" Dib stopped walking, glad that Nel was willing to answer him, and wondering what she had to say. The girl also halted, slowly turning around, face composed and poised.  
  
"Well, I didn't you noticed my form at first.." brushing invisible dust of the frock of her dress, Nel continued without making eye contact, "But there's something about you, Dib..like you would understand me better then anyone else...I like that."  
  
"Understand you?" inquisitive about her reply, Dib lightly tapped her nose playfully, "I guess I see.."  
  
"I'm sorry if I am confusing," Nel brought her head back up, a look of shame painted on her face. "I should be going home.."  
  
"Actually, I was wondering if maybe you could come over to my house," Dib became anxious, hoping he hadn't turned the girl off, "No one'll be home..so you don't have to worry about my creepy sister, and my dad is never around anyway."  
  
Nel thought about this. She was supposed to report back to the Rose Room after skool immediately. To disobey would lead to severe penalties, and Nel's face paled to the notion. But that was when her mother was there.  
  
Did she dare take a risk, her very first risk?  
  
Her mind screamed and called her a fool. Her heart told her to simply do what she felt was right. But did Nel know what was for the best? She had never done anything for her own sake; to be selfish now would be like becoming a different person.  
  
Maybe that was happening already. Already she was seeing with her heart, and not her eyes.  
  
"I'd..I'd like that," a smile cracking on her face, Nel returned to his side once more, timidly wrapping a thin arm around Dib's back. A shiver went down his spine, but he suppressed it. But in a way, he kinda liked it...  
  
Dib felt a surge of triumph flow through him, like a spark of energy. He'd never had a ~girl~ in his house, much less his own room. Maybe..just maybe she wouldn't ridicule him and his fixation in the paranormal, not like most other girls did. But then again, Nel wasn't like most girls.  
  
She had proven that by just talking to him, without an insult or jab. ~God~ Dib sighed, but it wasn't his usual heavy-hearted sigh, but one of bliss, ~I can't believe that was just this morning..~  
  
  
  
As they approached the Membrane household, the blue and grey exterior impressive and daunting to the small girl, Nel found herself wordless. Her knees bordered on near collapse, and she could perceive tiny drops of wetness grow on her forehead, for she knew not what lay within this building. She felt like an explorer, entering some new cavern or diving deep into the sea, and while her excitement was growing with every step, so was her inevitable fright. Maybe that made the ordeal even more incredible.  
  
What's forbidden always seems so tempting.  
  
Biting her lip, she watched as Dib unlocked the front door, opening it for her. Nel forced a quick, fleeting smile before entering.  
  
At first, Nel could hardly see anything beyond her arm's reach, as the living room was lightless, a sign that they were the house's only inhabitants. She could hear a grandfather clock slowly ticking to her right, but that was all. The silence was so thick; it was almost tangible, as if she could reach out and take it in her hand. Nel almost jumped as Dib came up from behind her, one of his thin hands quickly flicking on a table lamp.  
  
The room was well furnished, everything neatly organized, and nothing dashed about, another sign that the house was indeed empty as Dib had claimed.  
  
"Well, this is it..sorry it's not that much..." Dib walked into the center of the room.  
  
But Nel wasn't paying attention to the room itself. A stirring and a yearning had been increasing since she had left skool...her id was being provoked by some imaginary force.  
  
~Do you want to feel love, Nel..~  
  
She gulped, curious as to what this strange feeling was, her throat becoming increasingly dry as she pretended to admire her surroundings. Clutching her hands together, Nel also realized that they had suddenly become quiet cold, even though she could hear the ceiling vents exude waves of warmth. Biting her lower lip, she looked up at Dib, and was surprised to see him acting in almost an identical manner, as he was fiddling with the tails of his coat and adjusting his glasses several times.  
  
"So...um....d-did you want a-anything to drink?" flabbergasted by his machine-gun like stuttering, Dib almost slapped himself. He didn't want to mortify himself in his own home, but it seemed all too inevitable, for he was falling victim to sensations he never thought would cross his path. He felt uncomfortably hot and stuffy, tugging at the collar of his t-shirt, and even the spaces in between his toes were becoming inundated with sweat. Something was trying to propel him forward to some unknown destination.  
  
For perhaps the first time in his life, Dib was actually afraid of the unknown. He didn't want to continue with this shady situation, not knowing what could happen next; he wanted to know for sure. He wanted a sense of security, but he genuinely doubted that was going to be permissible. But, like a double-edge knife, this sensation was so alluring at the same time. His feet were itching to race up the stairs with Nel, to whatever situation awaited him.  
  
Although his vision had become almost hazed with dim-wittedness, Dib could sense Nel swiftly moving to the lamp shade, unexpectedly cutting off that sole source of light. As they were plunged into obscurity once more, Dib swore that he could see steam emitting off of his hands.  
  
"Nel.." he gasped, the air in his lungs thin and unsupportive. But he felt a hot finger press against his lips. His eyes dilated to the size of tea saucers.  
  
"I can't comprehend this feeling, Dib..I'm afraid..." her voice was breathy, as if she too were fighting off this undetectable, inner commotion. Nel pulled her hand away, allowing Dib to speak, but they remained locked in silence.  
  
He suddenly took her hand into his own, as the two darkened shapes flew up the stairs like a pair of birds zipping across the night sky. Beside herself with shock and eagerness, Nel could feel Dib's pulse as her hand wrapped around one of his wrists; it felt like a tympani gone insane, and the pounding was going faster still.  
  
And yet they did not speak, but let their hearts say every thing that needed to be said, just as they were being led by their hearts. The girl followed him with eyes that were wide and watery into a small room.  
  
Dib turned to face Nel once they were both inside. His cheeks were flushed and moist, and when he spoke to her, his voice was ragged.  
  
"Nel..I don't to hurt you..I never want to hurt you..." huffing, he gently clenched both of Nel's slender shoulders, tightening his grip as he ended his sentence. "Just tell me..if I'm hurting you..."  
  
He paused, catching his breath, but found that he couldn't keep up with his heightened pulse, that he was always behind the brisk beating of his own heart. Nel looked up into his face, golden locks framing her face perfectly, and gazed longingly into Dib's eyes. The sun was already setting by this time, as that side of the world was about to be thrust into late fall. It only served to intensify the atmosphere, that low light barely creating a silhouette on the walls.  
  
~~~~Never opened myself this way..~~~~  
  
They leaned into one another, at first faltering, pulling back. Dib looked again into her eyes, searching for that hope, that confidence that she could give him. He pulled her closer to him, young hands tracing the willowy curve of her back, and Nel moaned in response, finally crushing her lips into his. It was forceful at first, the raw emotions unrefined and inexperienced.  
  
Nel took the boy's face, swathed with sweat, in both of her hands, kissing him over and over. Abandoning all reason, Dib forced his tongue into her mouth, investigating all of her, and unpredictably, Nel returned the passion, that shy and quiet girl long gone. They intertwined themselves with unprecedented love, pausing only to catch their breath. When they did, Dib could feel the girl's hot breath against his neck.  
  
After a moment, mouth still open, Nel stepped away, and Dib noticed with extreme embarrassment how aroused his entire body had become. His cheeks flushed like a fire truck's sirens. When he had collected back enough of his awareness to look back at Nel, he noticed how she was now standing next to his bed, the moon shining through the window behind her, just peering over the horizon.  
  
~~~~Life is ours, we live it our way..~~~~  
  
Dib gulped again, for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day. His hands were shaking violently, groping for something to hold, as Nel beckoned him over to the bed. Dib was all too happy to oblige, already tugging off his trench coat.  
  
All he could say was her name as he rushed up to meet her, hands raking through soft, flaxen hair, tasting her skin with gentle kisses, overcome with this want and need. This time, as they kissed, it seemed to last so much longer. Their passion lingered, and a tiny voice in the back of Nel's mind was telling her to pull away, to slow this down before she did anything she could ever regret. But it was clear from the start that this was going to go so much farther than a simple kiss.  
  
"Nel..a-are you alright..alright with this?" he stammered again, mostly from an uncontrollable tension that never seemed to die. Nel did not answer at first, but continued to kiss his lips, trailing down to his neck.  
  
"Yes..I love you..I don't want to feel lonely.." she finally said, eyes closed as she embraced him, "I just don't want to hurt you..."  
  
"Let me free you..set you free from your loneliness."  
  
Fumbling with untried desire, Dib awkwardly moved his hands in the dark, desperately trying to locate and undo the buttons of her dress. Nel let out a hushed laugh, not one of ridicule, but rather a laugh of indulgence, urging him forward past this minor obstacle. She pulled his t-shirt off over his head, rustling his raven hair, and let it fall next to them as Dib finally figured out the mechanics of her periwinkle garment. It pooled at her feet, the discarded piece of fabric finally revealing Nel's vulnerable body, clothed only in a pair of white, cotton panties.  
  
Dib felt the skin on his face crawl, his body rigid with fright as he let his eyes wander over her body..A body that was covered in scars, with one large, circular wound located in the middle of her stomach.  
  
"What happened..." he managed to choke out in his stupor. Nel had expected this kind of response, and did not blame him for it...it was rather ghastly. Instinctively, however, she pulled both of her hands across her abdomen, covering that horrific scar.  
  
"I'm sorry...I should have said something," Nel said, the pain plain in her soft voice.  
  
Dib calmly laid the girl onto his bed, sitting down beside her, all while still trapped in a firm encirclement. None of his passion had left him..it had actually been increased by Nel's never-ending innocence, her eyes staring at him so openly that he almost had to look away, it was so overbearing.  
  
She could put angels to shame.  
  
He felt like laughing; he hadn't believed in angels..or hope for that matter...but here, right in his arms at that very moment, he had the only reason to have hope, to have ambition and inspiration. Kneeling above her, his mind was bursting with Nel's image, her hands over her head and her legs drawn up with her knees bent. Dib considered it a miracle that he hadn't fainted right then and there.  
  
"You're beautiful...not even this could change what you truly are..."  
  
Nel's face was radiant now, as the moon had filled the sky, floating above like some massive, opalescent pearl. As she laid there, her pale skin glowing like a star, Dib was suddenly struck with the realization that he didn't know what to do or how to act. Nel, on the other hand, seemed almost serene. So well did she hide her own fears, her worry that she would not be able to please.  
  
~~~~All these words, I don't just say...~~~~  
  
Jerked back into the here and now, Dib realized that Nel had stripped away her last piece of clothing, tossed aside like some unwanted afterthought. She lay there beneath him, totally submissive, giving him access to everything she was and trusting him not to shatter that. He was reminded of an exquisite porcelain figurine, one that was perfectly wrought, yet so incredibly fragile. For a while, he just looked at Nel, this girl that had just walked into his life no more then a week ago. The girl he had at one point called a pathetic individual. He wish he had never said that now...she wasn't even close to being pathetic; if anything, she was a better person than he.  
  
Dib removed the last of his garments, shoving aside the shame he knew could only inhibit, not facilitate. Never had he felt so warm, as he placed himself on top of his Nel, this stunning girl that gave his life a whole new meaning. They were clothed now only in the warmth of one another, and that was more than enough for both of them.  
  
Starting to kiss her again, Dib fervently let his lips travel across her landscape like a roving vagrant, feeding off of her moans and sweet voice as he kissed her neck. She pushed his lips further down, his eyelashes giving her soft butterfly kisses on her thin stomach. By this time, that little voice inside Nel's mind had been snuffed out entirely, and the flames that might have been extinguished before were now being fanned into a giant bonfire.  
  
Spreading her legs, Dib suddenly froze as he felt Nel begin to guide him into her. That fear-reflex, that if they continued, there would be no turning back, was his only restriction, as they no longer had the barriers that clothes provided. Dib lifted his head away, his hips rigid and back slightly arched.  
  
And there she laid, bathed in pure light, like some angel from the moon, sent down from the heavens.  
  
And there was her gaze.  
  
And there she was.  
  
For him.  
  
Every gut feeling inside Dib told him to run away, like he had so many times before in the face of his very own feelings. But the smile on Nel's face, that smile that Dib had only seen, reassured him that everything was going to be okay.  
  
He took her hand away, and, placing a sweaty, shaky hand on her supple hips, finished the journey himself. The world about him seemed to fade out of existence, dying off like the passing fog as the two joined as one, not simply dwelling in lust, but experiencing love...  
  
  
  
~~~~Ain't Nothing Else Matters...~~~~  
  
  
  
  
  
[Author's Note: Well, first off, I don't own the lyrics to "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica, my favorite song by one of my favorite bands by the way =3 I do hope that you enjoyed this very emotional chapter...and that I haven't turned too many of you guys away with this little intervention into the more sappy (and mature) aspect of Dib and Nel's relationship! Please read and review! Thanks!] 


	9. Chapter 8: Tempest

Chapter 8: Tempest  
  
He heard a voice, softly at first, deadened by his morning stupor. His ears tingled between the pillows and bed sheets, the sunlight just pouring onto the floor, billowing along the carpet like an effervescent cloud of golden light.  
  
The sound was pleasant. The sound was sad though, and it was this that woke Dib as morning came.  
  
He wasn't sure how long he had been aware of it. It seemed to him that he had been listening to it for a long time. At first it had seemed far away, just a vague undercurrent running in the background of his mind, but slowly, as he had regained his senses, it had become clearer. And the more he heard the more closely he listened. It was not just a sound, it was a voice. Yes, it was the voice of someone singing, softly, as if to no one in particular. But it was not a voice like any he had ever known. There was some other quality to it. Although he could not understand any of the words, he somehow knew that it was more than just a song. There was something incredibly soothing about it. It seemed almost alien, the long drawn out syllables climbing higher and higher. Like a drink of water given to a man dying of thirst, the song seemed to suffuse him, to fill him with rejuvenating energy.  
  
There was something intoxicating about it, and beautiful.  
  
Dib opened his eyes, his mind stirring now but his body refusing to follow suite; his legs were sore as all hell. He turned his head towards the source of the singing, and found Nel, back turned to him, staring out of his lonely bedroom window, the light spilling around her like an aura.  
  
Naked still, but not shivering, Dib was content to just watch and listen as she sang to herself. Though he could discern no words from her sweet melody, it made no difference; the sound of her voice was as pacifying as the ocean lapping around feet that had been standing on sun-scorched sand. And though he could not clearly see her face (only the faintest reflection from the window's glass), Dib could imagine her peaceful expression as she serenaded to the morning's dew.  
  
Dib could not think of another moment in which he had been this happy, this ~whole~. He fought the urge to call out her name, disturb her, in fear that she would stop singing. She stood straight as a board, shoulder's square, her lissom body as pale as it was the night before; his hands shook, yearning to touch her, glide his hands along her skin, and feel every inch of her.  
  
~Am I a pervert?~ quietly as a stalking panther, he reached for his glasses, only to realize that they were on the bed sheets, still intact, an amazing phenomenon considering the events that had transpired the night before. Placing then onto his face, Dib finally decided that there were no dirty, impure thoughts in his mind, in his actions. He was not acting solely on lust of infatuation, but rather on something else, something he couldn't quite place and define. The feelings he held for Nel were clean, rare and reserved, saved only for her. He had no desire to ravage her for the simple, disgusting pleasure it brought upon him, but rather wanted to love her with all the passion he thought never existed in him.  
  
He sighed, louder then he had expected, and Nel immediately stopped. She spun around quickly, as if she had forgotten about her special audience, her brown eyes sparkling like jewels, their color deeper then all the voices of a rose. Her hair was a tussled forest of brown and golden strands, cheeks still holding a healthy flush. Dib was almost breathless by the sight of her. He had never seen anything more beautiful. Not even the dull, red rents lashed across her body could detract from this undeniable truth.  
  
Neither one of them uttered a sound now, the ringing of Nel's voice having left Dib's ears, her lips shut tightly. A shiver fell over them both.  
  
"Good morning.." she finally spoke, broke the silence. Her eyes slowly batted twice as she stroked a hand through her hair. Dib furtively wished it were his hand raking along her flaxen tresses as he rose out of the bed, the blood and energy returning to his limbs.  
  
"Likewise!" he exclaimed in return. She smiled, one that warmed him like no piece of fabric or flame could, "How did you sleep?"  
  
"Better then ever before," Nel nodded, striding up to him, wrapping her lithe arms about his frail form, enclosing him like a ribbon, as she nuzzled her head into his shoulder, causing Dib to sigh once again.  
  
"Nel, I never knew you could sing like that.it was.amazing." Dib said in whispered tones, still shocked by her striking musical talent. He closed his eyes as he kissed her forehead lightly, as he felt her heart beating against him. "Like nothing I've ever heard.."  
  
Her back became rigid once more as the words escaped Dib's mouth, her arms slackening their grip. She pushed away, a hand covering over her mouth, eyebrows strained; Dib started to panic, assuming that he had said all the wrong words. Had he been insensitive?  
  
"Y-you heard me sing?" she cried out, her feet carrying her backwards a couple steps, speaking through loose fingers.  
  
"I did..but I didn't mean to offend you...I'm sorry......" Dib did not front the timid girl, the flesh on her face becoming wan and pasty.  
  
"It's not that...it's just that..." she fumbled over her own phrases, unable to connect her thoughts. "I don't think you should listen to my singing..ever..."  
  
Her seriousness was somewhat unsettling, and Dib was trying his hardest not to rouse up any more bouts of distress. He grabbed a mislaid sheet from the floor and slowly approached Nel, her shoulders slumped with anxiousness. Her face looked so forlorn it hurt. What was so harmful about having such a melodious, perfect voice? Dib couldn't sort the riddle out; this was like putting together a puzzle made with all white pieces. He slung the sheet over her, so that only her small, shy face was exposed, peering out nervously.  
  
"You shouldn't be bashful about singing with a voice like yours, Nel.." he assured, holding her face in his hands, kissing her on the lips tenderly and waited for her to reciprocate his affection. For a second, she remained in deadlock, eyes still open, breaths short and constricted by a tightening in her chest. The air around them grew stagnant.  
  
Dib withdrew himself, noticing her apprehension, and immediately Nel rushed forwards, embracing him tightly as if he were leaving this life, and leaving her as well. Now Dib was the one with wide eyes, shocked by her sudden gale of ardor. But the invitation would not be left unopened, and he soon partook in the exchange of affections, his needy hands finally given the permission to caress her hair and shoulders, and he let his lips move down to kiss her neck gently. He could feel Nel shudder, and it only urged him forwards, feeding off of her reactions, the little whimpers she made when he let a hand travel down her spine to the small of her back, or the hushed moans that would expel if his fingers lingered closely to her chest.  
  
"Nel..I love you..." he spoke with urgency, knowing that he would never proceed any further if she would not allow, hoping that her response would come without hesitation.  
  
"I love you too, Dib...so much...so very much." Dib thrilled at her quick reply, as her arms moved like feathers along his backside, her little touches like kisses from a sparrow's wing.  
  
"Will you sing for me? I want to hear your voice." moving both of them to the bed once more, Dib lay on the soft mattress, placing Nel to his left side, stroking her cheek with the back of his right hand. This time however, at the mentioning of her singing, Nel did not withdraw and hid within herself. She sat on the edge of the bed, holding on of Dib hands in her own. Dib carefully eyed her curving back, how graceful she always seemed; never knowing what was on her mind that made him love her so. He was still learning why he loved her; they had so much ahead of them.  
  
Before he could even prepare himself, ready his ears for her harmonious, but yet almost melancholy, voice, Nel opened her mouth, and the same, luxurious sound escaped from deep within her. Supported by some unknown strength, she sang like a mournful dove, notes sliding effortlessly from one to the next. The tune escalated up higher, but never sounding strained or nasal, still full and sorrowful. Dib felt a stinging in his eyes and realized that he had begun to cry, as this angel of music sang on, expelling forth this hymn without earthly words. He wiped them away, only to have fresh tears replace those removed, until he had a continuous flow of water flowing from his brown eyes, dripping onto the mattress.  
  
Suddenly, Dib began to hear something new arise from within her voice. Very latent were new notes, coalescing with those already being sung, as if there were more people behind her, forming a harmony off of her song. At first he thought it might be the effects of drowsiness, but dismissed this notion knowing that he was indeed awake. Straining his ears, the curiosity in Dib's mind grew to blatant wonder as these undertones become stronger, deviating from Nel's singing, until they were actually forming their own, independent lines of music. Shocked by this spectacle, Dib realized that this was all coming from Nel herself; there were no other songstresses, no other sources of sound around them.  
  
~I feel so light...~ pressing a hand against her chest, heart beating rather slowly despite his bewilderment, Dib could sense an odd fuzziness begin to fabricate in the back of his head, slowly moving forward, enveloping his conscious mind as he labored to concentrate.  
  
But something was taking him quickly, and Dib wasn't sure what, as Nel continued to sing her multi-phonic refrain. He was being swamped by this almost comforting stillness, his mouth becoming slack, hands unable to clench. The bed seemed to sink underneath him. A cold feeling pressed against his skin. Nel nonchalantly glanced over her shoulder, softly singing, at Dib, just as his eyes began to close, lips turning a ghastly shade of grey.  
  
"Dib?!" Nel shrieked out in five different voices, quickly latching her hands onto his shoulders, shaking him violently, but his face remained still, almost peaceful as sleep latched onto his heart and mind. Slapping him rather harshly, Nel felt like beating herself instead....she knew this would happen..Mother had warned her about her ugly, horrific voice, told her never to share it, no one would want to hear it anyway..why hadn't she listened?!  
  
"Please don't go to sleep, you can't!!!" heart racing, her own eyes now forming tears of their own, Nel dashed for the door, go searching for someone to help them, forgetting that she was still unclothed, as was Dib; she had to find someone, before it was too late! "Don't give in..I'm so sorry.."  
  
But there was something blocking the doorway as she tried to leave, almost causing her to tumble backwards onto the rough, blue carpet. She gasped as she leaned her head back to gaze at the tower-like figure before her, a wall of white blockading her advance.  
  
The man looked down on her through a pair of goggles, face masked by the stiff collar of his lab coat, gazing at her like a hawk surveying its prey.  
  
"Nel....I never expected this..."  
Leaves..there were leaves on him. He couldn't see them; all was black around him, like swimming in a vat of black paint. But he felt them, little flat objects shuffling about him, touching his skin lightly. Once in a while, a leaf's stem would prick him roughly, and Dib could feel a thorn enter into his skin.  
  
It felt too real..why was he lying in a bed of leaves..why couldn't he see anything..  
  
Another prick and Dib could latently sense a stream of something warm and syrupy dribbling down his hands, slipping between his open fingers; he hadn't the strength to close them, and definitely lacked the vigor to struggle and scream, though pain tore him through and through.  
  
As time went on, slowly, unbearably, Dib could see shapes forming around him like shadows coming out at him from all directions. They were hovering and always moving, quickly, muttering words in an ancient tongue, or perhaps just whispering inaudibly; he couldn't tell, his mind was in disarray. But soon the shadows became ghosts, white in their spectral clothing, touching him softly; silent as they picked him up, moved them around their wraithlike world, which was all smoke and vapors to the nearly unconscious boy. He barely felt the pillows underneath his head, or the mask being placed over his nose and mouth, feeding him fresh, clean air.  
  
And soon those ghosts became, over an immeasurable amount of time, secular beings, draped in lab coats. They were all alike, their faces covered as if they were ashamed, or extremely shy, something Dib highly doubted, as bashful individuals don't usually steal you from your own room and take you to places you know not of. As one of the mysterious hands came down to press a hand against his cold, pale forehead, Dib was surprised to find himself jerking away, as if there was still some verve left in him.  
  
"Where...where have y-you..." his words slurring like those of an eighty- year-old man, Dib tried to unclose his eyes, but found it to be a fruitless endeavor. His body resisted every command he gave it, as the hospital bed he was stretched across was moved along a lengthy, boring corridor. From being his eyelids, Dib felt and sensed the presence of many persons, all of them silent. "..taken me...Nel.."  
  
"He's been saying her name all this time, Lehman.." an urgent voice finally spoke out amongst the nothingness, and a murmur followed soon after. Dib recognized none of the voices, increasing his nervousness.  
  
"Where has she been placed?" another person said, although Dib could not pinpoint the location of the speaker; the sounds seemed to be coming at him from all directions. "In the Rose Room again?"  
  
"We're not sure, Membrane should be looking after her though..."  
  
"Isn't this Membrane's son?"  
  
"Yes, I'm afraid..we've discussed this with him already..there will be serious repercussions."  
  
They sounded afraid, worried to Dib's ears. He heard them speaking about his father, but what would he be doing here? He knew about his father's work, almost everything, but there had been no connection between Nel and his occupation, no mention of her name before now..or had there been?  
  
~~~Was her name..Nel?~~~  
  
Instantly his eyes flashed open, and the world around him snapped into the spotlight. The scientists standing around his bed jumped back suddenly, many of them unable to catch themselves from cursing.  
  
"Dad?" Dib's voice was surprisingly steady now, not a quaver in sight, "Where is he? Where am I?"  
  
"Don't panic...you must remain calm..everything is going to be alright..." a nearby figure said, as he scribbled furiously onto a clear, plastic clipboard. Dib felt sweat flooding his pores, and as he tried to move, realized that there were several medicinal apparatuses attached to his body.  
  
"Where have I been taken?! Tell me!" mouth dry with fright, the raven- haired boy twitched his fingers to test their sensitivity, and found that he was regaining control over his appendages.  
  
"We can't tell you that...not yet..your father has asked that you speak with him first-you must understand."  
  
"Understand? All I understand is that I'm somewhere where I'm not supposed to be, and you assholes need to speak up!" Dib struggled to restrain his frustration and panic.  
  
But the scientist would not cooperate, and Dib was wheeled away into a white-washed room that reeked heavily of medicine and detergent. The smell bit his nostrils like the fangs of a dog, and Dib now wished that he were back in that bed of leaves, barely awake, all so that he might escape this confusion. The two lab technicians that had veered him into the room soon left his bedside, closing the door behind them. Dib waited for any other noises to emerge. He could hear a small clock ticking across the room and the dripping of a leaking faucet, but no humanly sounds only his own breath and beating heart.  
  
"Dib."  
  
Dib snapped his head towards his right, left, down towards his feet, but saw no one. With his body bound in a myriad of wires, so was his vision restricted.  
  
"Dad, is that you?" his voice cracking with weariness, Dib twisted his neck to the limits, striving to see the face of the person calling his name. "Where are you...I can't see you..."  
  
"Dib, what I'm going to tell you may be too much for you, but I must ask you to be patient..." his hidden father spoke from behind Dib's ears, just out of sight.  
  
"I've been fighting an alien for more then 2 years, been launched into outer space, and had my skool infested by a giant louse..nothing you say is going to surprise me, I assure you," Dib said dryly, wishing his father would just get to the point.  
  
"Son, try not to act so incredibly idiotic here.." his father rebutted quickly, and Dib held his tongue, despite himself. "Nel..Nel isn't what you think she is."  
  
"What would you know about her? How do you know her?" angry that he was being left in the dark, tired and fed up with his father's promiscuous attitude, Dib tried to lift himself so that he could look his father in the goggles, but found his head smashing back into the pillows.  
  
"She.." Professor Membrane paused, as if recollecting his thoughts, "She was born here, about three years ago."  
  
"B-born.."  
  
"Yes, Son, born. Created by science, the byproduct of an experiment."  
  
Dib's mind was clouded with emptiness, scrambled thoughts tightly packed together in his brain. His father had been right all along: nothing could have prepared him for this, it was too much for him.  
  
"I had a hand in this experiment..I was the one who suggested she attend your skool..I was the one who allowed her to leave these labs.." his father spoke rapidly, as if he had been wanting to say these words for the longest time. "The walls in this building were the only ones she knew before then, these floors the only ones she had walked on. The world is a playground to her that had been locked behind steel doors, and I thought that by giving her access to that world, it would better her..I regret all my actions, now more then ever..."  
  
"Why?" said Dib, still incredulous, but now able to speak once more, "If you knew this place was harming her, why would you want her to stay here?"  
  
"Can't you see the danger in it?!" his father's voice rose with stress, as if there was no question to his proclamation, as if Dib's inquiry was a waste of time, "She may have the body of a fourteen-year-old, but her mind is that of a toddler! The synapses between her brain cells aren't as stable as ours are..well, at least mine. Too much information or emotional shock will send her into a mental relapse faster then the speed of light! To be around humans was too much for her...to be around ~you~ was too much for her.."  
  
"Nel was happy around me! That girl is no plaything, Dad, can't you see? You're too busy playing Frankenstein to see the danger in that! Keeping her here is going to kill her!" Dib declared forcefully, trying to lift his hands, turn over onto his side at least. But no sooner had he begun to strain his body did his father snap into view, leaning over the bed like a beast about to attack.  
  
"Dib, you can't treat her like a human!! She is our experiment!"  
  
"But she ~is~ a human! She has every right that you do to enjoy life! Stop treating her like a play thing just because she was born in a test tube! She's not your doll!!!" Dib ground his teeth together, eyes wild with fury, bed springs squeaking underneath his moving body, yearning to launch himself at his father.  
  
"If only you could understand the depth of our situation, Dib, then you would not feel like so." his father's voice softened dramatically, as if Dib had shot the impudence and nerve out of his mentality. "I must ask you to never speak with Nel, again."  
  
"You can't do that!" Dib rebutted immediately, almost instantaneously, "If you do that, you'll just be hurting her even more!"  
  
"I'm sorry." removing himself from Dib's stretcher, Professor Membrane lumbered heavily towards the door, turning his back on his son without another word.  
  
The clicking of the door jam locking in place had never seemed so loud before, and Dib, face red with resentment and desperation, could only listen to the sink dripping and the alarm clock ticking in the background.  
  
The silence had never been so unnerving. 


	10. Chapter 9: Calm before the storm

Chapter 9: Calm before the storm  
  
Had he really been here for only 5 days? It felt like a month of so had passed since he had first awoken in that creepy operation room..  
  
..Since he had spoken to his father...  
  
As the soft, white light filtered around him, a somniferous haze dissipating slowly, Dib could feel a disturbance hovering over him, like a vulture or shadow. A hand inched down until it touched the blanket at the foot of his bed. Slowly the hand closed, the blanket clenched within it. There was a little tug, pulling the cloth down, just a bit. Dib's first reaction was to grab his end of the blanket, to hold it fast against the tenacious pull, but he could feel his strength waning even now, after days of rest.  
  
After a moments hesitation, the shadow tried again, and Dib, apprehension rising, could feel the fabric sliding down once more, until it was off of him completely and fell onto the floor next to his hospital bed. The heat in the facility was on, of course, but even so the cold began to creep in. He had been warm under the crisp, cotton blanket, his body used to the protection the cover had afforded him. It was like someone was stripping away his defenses, and that notion was very unnerving to Dib, who made a noise of detest as his nearly naked body was finally exposed to the sterile air about him. The blanket certainly couldn't protect him from the shadow's bidding, but it had at least offered some psychological comfort.  
  
Clothed in only a white pair of bed shorts, he fought the urge to shiver..his face paled in fear as the enigmatic persona reached his hands over Dib's face, as if to smother him. He tried to pull his own hands up in retort, but they failed him again; they felt cumbersome, dead even, to him. Everything was blurring up around him as the oxygen mask was finally removed from his face..he hadn't even known it was there in the first place.  
  
"Leave..leave me alone, please.." he pleaded weakly, eyes lolling about in his head like loose marbles.  
  
"Its okay, Dib Membrane," a steely voice, tinted with an English accent, emerged from the mist, cold fingers touching the skin on his face. Icy fingers that made his skin blanch like a sickened animal. "We're not going to harm you.."  
  
"Like hell you aren't.." Dib muttered, animosity rising. The events of the other day were returning, and with that came also his rage towards his father, to these people..all that had harmed Nel, made her who she is... "I swear if you don't let me go-"  
  
"You'll do what?" the scientist scoffed, pushing silver framed glasses back up the ridge of his slender nose. His eyes, an unnaturally light shade of blue, bore themselves into Dib like spears of evil. "Just so you know, it is ~your~ fault that our subject is being st even here in the is ~you~ fault that our subject is being neutralized again, youer nose. e also his rage towards his fathererilized again, after months of successful testing."  
  
"Maurer..perhaps we should leave? We've checked on the boy's status," a fellow scientist tried to interrupt, "Mr. Maurer?"  
  
"Shut up, unless you're attempting to compare you're mandate against mine!" the scientist labeled Maurer silenced the man as if he were an interloper, face intensely severe. The man a very intimidating manner, but it did nothing to quell Dib's irritation. His face white with fury, Dib began to feel his vigor intensifying. He thought that he could perhaps lunge at the scientist, buy time for his escape, but as he did a once over of the room, he soon noticed, disappointingly, that the bitter man was not the only person present. Dib counted 6 more lab personal, and who could know how many waited outside of his room?  
  
It was too risky.  
  
He had questions that needed answering, and if he ever wanted to see Nel again to get this done, Dib would just have to be patient and see things through quietly. Not the most auspicious or favorable circumstance, but it would have to do for the time being, unless another opportunity struck.  
  
"If you're trying to make me feel guilty for treating Nel like she should be treated, you better get over your inflated self, because it isn't going to happen," Dib ground his white knuckles into the bed mattress, eyes slit behind his glasses. "How can you go around, acting like she's some machine? She's more human then you are!"  
  
"Something has greatly misled you to believe that I give a shit about that ~girl~," Maurer bit back with twice the malice Dib could ever hope to fabricate, and the boy withdrew his sword. The man's tongue was obviously sharper than his own. "All I care about is the money your father and his associates are paying me to examine that pitiful creature you call 'Nel'. To us, it's just a cash- cow waiting to be milked, nothing more, and nothing less."  
  
"You're a monster.." the boy hissed, cheeks ruddy and throbbing. It was apparent that not all of his father's scientists were as passionate about their "project" as he was.  
  
"So what if I am? I'm going to be rich, and that's all that matters..who cares about the subject and it's feelings of isolation? I want to rip that ~thing~ apart every time it has one of her relapses!" raising a tightened hand, the scientist, his brown hair cry and coifed, started for the door. The other lab technicians followed him, but made sure to keep their distance...they seemed intimidated by this man...scared. "It's a bloody hassle. I don't see why your father and his soft-hearted acquaintances keep her on life support when she's about to go under; we've reaped all that we could from it...there's nothing left for us to research."  
  
"Stop calling her an 'it' you bastard!" Dib's reserve finally snapped, just as the door closed being the cruel researcher, leaving one last clang reverberating in the now empty room. Dib could hear the cabal's footsteps echoing outside.  
  
His mouth was dry, tongue like a piece of stale bread, and Dib was struggling to contain himself. His ever-growing ignorance about a girl he ~thought~ he had known was frustrating him to no end. What had happened in his bedroom? Why is he being kept here for almost a week? And most importantly, why was Nel here, of all places?  
  
He knew she was an artificial being to some degree, but why would that be so important; everyone knew that cloning was right around the scientific corner. Was there more to this experiment then his father had let on? Dib could feel his body being sapped of his energy, his sudden rage taking its toll on his stamina. Crumpling into his bed, lifeless like a rag-doll in a fetal position, Dib tried with his might to fight back the encroaching sleep that preyed on him.  
  
"Monster.."  
  
A knock came at the door.  
  
~Just leave me alone...God Damnit..~  
  
Again, this time more earnestly.  
  
~I don't need anyone...everything has been..been a lie! ~  
  
"Dib?"  
  
The quiet voice barely penetrating the metal alloy in the door, Dib pressed his head into pillows. He knew who was there.  
  
A faint click sounded out as the handle was lowered mechanically, the door sliding ajar. Footsteps like that of a deer in newly fallen snow pattered across the linoleum tiles, as a meek girl, dressed in her oversized, battered sweatshirt, walked over to Dib's side, sleeves dusting the floor. Cautiously, mustn't startle, she tapped a finger on his head, right about his ears, rustling a finger through raven-black hair that sagged with exhaustion.  
  
~Why didn't you tell me...didn't you trust me?~  
  
No matter how hard he tried, Dib couldn't bring himself to loathe or even mildly hate her...there were no such feelings in his heart for the girl he loved with his all. It pained him to know that she had kept such harrowing secrets from him, secrets he thought he could have handled..but had she done it out of betrayal, was it really a scandal? Maybe he was less a person then she...  
  
~ Dib, you can't treat her like a human!! She is our experiment!~  
  
She wasn't human, but she had given him hope, love, compassion..more then any other "human" had ever offered. In the end, what defined humanity and inhumanity, what clarified sentience and independence from the creator?  
  
~ I must ask you to never speak with Nel, again...~  
  
Could he really go on, without her, without Nel? What piece of his heart, what cavity freshly carved in his soul would be lost when she disappeared from his life? The solitude would quickly settle back in, all those nights alone and waiting for a second chance...Dib wondered if it would even come.  
  
The hand continued to comb through his greasy hair, his skin tingling from her very touch. Her presence alone was more comforting then a thousand warm thoughts.  
  
~ She was born here, about three years ago~  
  
Dib could care less if she was born yesterday; she would always be his Nel! Quickly shifting his position so that he could finally see the girl with his own eyes, what he saw instead was a travesty of the girl he once knew. Tired bags lay beneath brown eyes as soft as rain, and her hair, normally prim, every strand in place, was a horrid mess now. All health had vanished from her being, as if someone had sucked the life out of her with an industrial strength vacuum. Arms sagging, back hunched solemnly, Dib wanted nothing more then to take the depraved Nel into his arms, squeeze her tightly, and feel that she was there.  
  
"Nel.." Dib whispered in pity, a tear tumble down his colorless, ashen cheeks. "If they find you here..."  
  
"I don't care, I had to come here, I had to see you!" she exclaimed, her radical display of emotion dramatic and unexpected. She threw herself into Dib's arms suddenly, like a bird falling from its nest into a caring person's hands, as she choked out a muted sob. The whites of her eyes were bloodshot; she had been relentlessly crying even before coming to see Dib, he knew that much was apparent. "I saw the men leaving your room."  
  
"Yeah, a charming bunch they are," Dib said haphazardly, sarcasm painting his words, a sardonic smile playing on his lips. Nel forced a smile, but it wasn't enough to appease the boy, bed-ridden and lacking the verve to return her tender embrace; all he could do was hang in her grasp, lean his head into her slender shoulder, let the tears roll down the already sodden fabric of her sweatshirt.  
  
"We have to leave, Nel. I don't know what they plan to do to you, but I don't like it," he continued, careless grin replaced with a grim frown, "we have to leave as soon as possible..."  
  
He thought she might have been excited, scared even. Dib would have been content with any show of sentiment, any sort of reaction..a flinch of her eyebrows would have sufficed at this point.  
  
But there was nothing now.  
  
If someone were to paint the girl's portrait at that very moment, he could have completely neglected to fill in her face and gotten away with it. Her cheeks lost their rosy color brought on by constant crying, and she had shut her eyes, closing that window to the soul. Blond eyebrows seemed to become frosty white and then transparent. Even her lips managed to blend with the rest of her skin well enough to seemingly vanish.  
  
Where had the ardent girl of two minutes ago gone to?  
  
"I...I can't leave," said Nel, still motionless, mouth barely moving as she spoke to Dib, who was thunderstruck by her proclamation. He felt as if someone had knifed him in the stomach; someone might as well had the emotional pain was so great at this point. "If I leave.."  
  
"You'll be happy! Don't let yourself be taken, Nel!" Dib cried out. He couldn't fathom how one spirit could be so crushed, so innocent, so hapless. How could "humans" do this to something so pure? "Please don't say that!"  
  
"I'm sorry..." holding back the torrent of tears with all her resolve, Nel backed away from the bed, "I came here to say good-bye..you will be leaving today."  
  
"Nel! You don't have to be their puppet! Their plaything!" he begged, clawing for her hands, trying to pull her back to him. "I thought you loved me! Only I understand what you really are!"  
  
"I was not made to love, Dib..I could never even hope to understand that facet of human emotion," her voice mournful, Nel stepped just out of Dib's reach, "I can only understand pain and research."  
  
"Don't say things like that!" frustrated beyond measure, Dib leapt out of the bed, fists clenched, knees threatening to buckle under the sudden weight. "If you want to go back to those tests and those scientists, go back to being some, some ~doll~, then go ahead! But is that what you really want?! Is it?!?"  
  
Like a ghost leaving the world of the living, Dib realized that Nel was quickly slipping away from him.  
  
"Why did you say you loved me? You're not as inhuman as you think you are!" with one last surge of energy, he leapt towards the girl, but faltered halfway, heart clenching in his chest, a throbbing pain emitting through every fiber in his body.  
  
His body was shutting down.  
  
"Dib, please try to forget me...all the things I said..it would be for the best."  
  
The door closed once more.  
  
"Nel, I thought you loved me...you must have loved me..." throat ragged, Dib managed to force out one last sentence before collapsing on the floor, a small pool of spittle collecting around his mouth.  
  
The door slamming behind her back, Nel couldn't keep herself collected anymore. It was too much to bear..to much pain that she had caused. Falling onto her knees, legs sprawled, Nel clapped her hands over her mouth, forced the aching sobs back down her throat, laboriously straining her eyes to hold their tears in place.  
  
"You did the right thing, Nel," a grave and somber voice spoke to the shuddering girl, as Professor Membrane placed a single, gloved hand on her tussled head, "You do know that, don't you?"  
  
She did not reply, but simply sat motionless, unmoving, as if her limbs had all but died on her. The professor sighed.  
  
"Why am I being kept here? Why do you lock me in my room at night?" she finally said, her submissive tone splitting the silence. She slowly stood up from the ground as she continued wantonly. "Was it true what my mother said, that I only cause others pain? What have I done to deserve this?"  
  
She sat there, cheeks now flushed with fervor. The professor was almost impressed by her abrupt zeal. But he knew that he could not answer her questions. No matter how much he wanted to liberate the girl he himself had created, he could never set her free.  
  
"Nel, you have endangered another human life," he said remorsefully, "Dib...my son..was in a coma for nearly five days."  
  
Mouth forming a small "o" of helplessness, Nel slumped back onto the ground. All hope was lost.  
  
"I know."  
  
The words that fell from barely parted lips were infected with loneliness, a bitter sadness that made Professor Membrane tremble with unease. He removed his hand slowly, looking at his feet while he brushed invisible dust off of his lab coat.  
  
"Then you also know that you will never leave this building again. Even if we are almost done researching you, you must never set foot outside these walls."  
  
"I know."  
  
Goggles misting with anxiety, the tall, brooding man could not produce the words of consolation that could offer her solace. What could he say to her in an effort to assuage her pains and torment?  
  
To what purpose had he brought this girl into such a miserable life?  
  
"Remember, that I am thy creature."  
  
Professor Membrane's head jolted up as Nel's voice rose once again. He was startled to actually hear her speak again, had expected her to remain silent and dormant in her infinite unhappiness. He stared at her huddled form, head hung low, hair falling in front of her face so that even her large, once shining eyes appeared dull, dreary like a worn down animal tired from the hunt.  
  
"What did you say?" the scientist gasped, mouth slung open stupidly. He took a step forward, and was doubly surprised when Nel continued to speak.  
  
"Remember, that I am they creature; I ought to be thy Adam; but I am rather the fallen angel, whom thou drivest from joy for no misdeed," she spoke in monotone, voice devoid of all sensation, a deep, sad edict torn from her shattered soul. "Everywhere I see bliss, from which I alone am irrevocably excluded. I was benevolent and good; misery made me a fiend. Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous."  
  
Speechless, as if the ability to speak had been ripped from his larynx with a pair of pliers, Professor Membrane nearly fell over in disbelief at the girl's defiant, brave sentiment. What could one say in the face of such a statement, especially when you knew you had a hand in that person's grief?  
  
How do you help a lost soul you helped to create?  
  
"You're.." he began to speak, nearly fumbled over his own blasted words, "you're needed in the clean room 42 B."  
  
No words could illustrate the intense desperation that Nel felt as she was left alone once more, abandoned in the hallway by her guardian, watching him become smaller and smaller as he walked down the corridor. He soon blinked out of sight, but the sadness remained, the reality of her situation, her life, coming into focus.  
  
"Believe me, Frankenstein: I was benevolent; my soul glowed with love and humanity: but am I not alone, miserably alone?"  
  
And then she cried..more then ever before, an ocean of wretched misery falling about her freely. She climbed to her feet quickly, feet heavy with guilt, as she propelled herself into a nearby closet, smashing the door behind her. She bowed down into the collection of cleaning tools, buckets and mops, not caring that her hands and knees were rapidly becoming filthier by the moment.  
  
A pair of glowing, effervescent blue eyes suddenly shone next to her, faintly illuminating her piteous face.  
  
"Wha-" Nel barely managed to speak before a small, knee-high robot bumped into her, nearly tripping over her cowering figure.  
  
"Hello?!" it exclaimed in a childish voice, taking Nel distinctively by surprise. "Want pie NOW! Do you have PIE?"  
  
"What are you?" she nearly stuttered, eyes wide in disbelief, "I don't have any pie..."  
  
"Me like pie! Pie is GOOOOOOODD!!!!!" squealing with delight, its turquoise eyes shimmering with delight, the infantile automaton, unexpectedly jumped onto Nel's lap. "PiePiePiePiePie!!!!"  
  
"I don't have any pie! I don't even know what pie tastes like!" Nel shrieked in fear, trying to push the robot off of her, but it was far heavier then anything she could ever hope to lift. Suddenly the robot became still.  
  
She drew her breath in as the robot's voice lowered, eyes fading to red. Nel swore she heard the small creature beginning to snarl.  
  
"Must apprehend target, SIR!" it declared ferociously, its jovial attitude morphing into something terrifying. Its metal hands flew around her neck, red eyes glaring into her own, an inhuman glow that scared her to the bone. It has taken her by surprise like an assassin nailing the unknowing, ignorant target. Nel couldn't scream or even gasp as she quickly lost consciousness in the closet, her body quietly slumping onto the ground, her assailant glowering over her...  
  
"When come back..bring PIE!!!!"  
  
[Author's Note: Of course, many of you may recognize Nel's speech from Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein" and the little Weeble and Bob reference I just had to stick in... I could never claim either of these. I hope you enjoyed this sad chapter...sorry it's so short though! Please read and review!] 


	11. Chapter 10: Lightning

Chapter 10: Lightning (part one)  
  
Science without a conscience is a work of evil.  
  
Disliking the fact that he had an escort on either side of him, Dib trudged through the spotlessly clean hallway, boots clambering with every step he took. His mind was numb, buzzing as if he had been sucking on helium for the last five hours, and the air around him seemed as lifeless as the building's inhabitants. They were like drones in an ant farm, scurrying about to some meaningless end, simply following the orders of their superiors without consciousness or morality.  
  
He gave a heavy sigh, arms limp and devitalized, as he neared the laboratory's exit, the doors like the very gates of heaven themselves..Dib wanted nothing more then to breath the air outside this hellish domain, to see the sky once more, even if it was littered with smog and drizzle. Over the roar of activity inside the prim and annoyingly clean dungeon, he could already hear rain drops assaulting the rooftops above him.  
  
~I guess we aren't so far underground..~ the raven-haired boy thought dimly, not really concerned with the secret base's location, just with his own departure from it. With another elongated breath, Dib found himself toe to steal with a set of double doors, their metal hinges impressive and daunting. One of the gentlemen that had been ushering him outside pulled out a small, 2 inch long card, swiping it along the door's access panel. With a ballet of lights and sound, the digitized pad that was set on the wall next to the doors gave a satisfying "bring!", followed by a mechanical click as the door unlocked itself.  
  
"You're free to go..Your father has told us that no mental-cleansing is needed..you probably couldn't understand let alone comprehend anything within this facility anyway," the man spoke drearily, shoving the card key back into his lab coat's white pocket. "I suggest you leave quickly and quietly."  
  
"No need to ask me that again," the boy scoffed dryly, pushing his glasses back up the ridge of his nose, eyes slit in irritation at the man's callous nature. Who did he think he was talking to? Some immature, ignorant boy?  
  
He laughed inwardly, wishing he could divulge all he knew about alien technology, his discoveries and his mission..things they would never themselves even hope to stumble upon. They were as blind and idiotic as the school children who mocked him day in and day out.  
  
The doors split apart like the Red Sea; a long hallway spilled in front of him, windowless and stark. Dotting the end of the horizon was a single door.  
  
"You'll find your way from here," the other man spoke in much the same manner as his counterpart, and they both soon left Dib alone, the long corridor beckoning him like Macbeth to that fated blade. The wind seemed to howl along the cement surfaces, and every step Dib took echoed into infinity.  
  
There was a foreboding sensation filling this place..it was nearly tangible to him as a voice suddenly, yet quietly resounded behind him.  
  
"You're the one, aren't you..the one who screwed up ~everything~."  
  
Icicles could have formed along those walls as the voice rose in agitation; the words were cold, yet fragile, as if the speaker were physically weak, invigorated only by anger and malice. Dib froze on sight, joints locking up as a looming figure ambled towards him silently.  
  
"Stupid, moronic boy," the person called out again, breaths separating her sentence as a hand gripped the boy's shoulder tightly, like a dog biting down on a person's hand. Finger nails like thumb tacks dug themselves into the fabric of Dib's trench coat. "I recognized your coat...the coat that started it all."  
  
"Get your filthy hands of me, bitch." Dub shrugged away, as he restarted his walk towards the lab's exit, struggling to hide the mounting fear that was building from within. The tiny hairs on the back of his neck were prickling, a tingling feeling darting around the skin on his face.  
  
He was frightened; there was no doubt about that.  
  
"You can't run from it, boy."  
  
~Watch me~  
  
"Whoever she touches, whatever she does..she will always cause pain to those around her."  
  
His feet stopped on their own, and likewise moved so that Dib slowly turned to face this interloper, who stood miserably behind him, face lowered and hidden behind a blanket of tangled brown hair. Although they were hidden, Dib could feel a pair of eyes boring down into his flesh, glaring at him like a car's headlights. He gave another shudder, putting his fears aside.  
  
"She who was once mine...she who betrayed me. I gave her love, gave her warmth, but the pain she gave me was twice as strong," the person, who was most definitely female, spoke, words biting like anthrax. She lumbered forward, almost as if she were ensnared in a trance, and Dib almost thought about making a dash for the exit, race down the corridor...the woman didn't look like she could run very fast, at least not as quick as him. But the terror she emitted held in fast in place, like an emotional glue holding his body to the ground below him; she soon was a mere two feet from him.  
  
"Nel doesn't belong to anyone...not even me," Dib retorted with a twinge of sadness, his eyes falling to the floor that had seemingly trapped him, "No one has given her the love she deserves, and I don't think anyone can. She is no more then a shell thanks to you people and your goddamn vicious tendencies!!!"  
  
"Strong words from a boy who's just lost a special someone," the woman jeered, a skeletal hand whipping out, grabbing Dib from underneath his chin, moving his face around so that she could inspect every last corner of him. "You have regret written all over you, boy, and its all because of her, isn't it? I know how you feel; I've felt the same hurt and sting just as you have."  
  
"How would you know?" Dib fought back the tears, tried to remain resolute as he let himself be taunted by this vile person. Her icy touch probed his senses, instilling fear, and her loathsome, empty gaze did worse. Before Dib could strengthen his emotional barriers even more, he began to falter, lower lip quavering as he tried to look away.  
  
"Although the girl you know as Nel is not an independent being by any standards, the person whose DNA she stole ..." she replied, drawing her hand away. Much to Dib's surprise, his sudden release caused him to crumble onto the ground, legs disobeying him; the woman was obviously much stronger then her appearance let on. " ....belonged to my own child."  
  
"What do you mean stole?" Dib spat out, quickly climbing to his feet, hands clenched at his sides defiantly.  
  
"Nel is the name of ~my~ daughter...the girl who masquerades as her is but a copy," the woman smiled coldly, as if it were all too amusing; Dib couldn't see what was so humorous, his eyebrows tense and mouth thin like a knife's blade. "She could never compare to the original, it was all a useless farce. But I gave her love anyway..gave her clothes...even let her use the original's namesake."  
  
Dib listened on, ears becoming hot with anger, face livid and white. He could feel hands becoming sweaty as they remain clenched like two fleshy vices. Standing before this enigmatic, cruel figure, he didn't know how much more of her malicious prattling he could withstand. Nel had renounced his love, but no one, not even a ~copy~ deserved such abuse as this..no one.  
  
"I was foolish to believe that a mere puppet, a bastard child like her could ever return such devotion," stamping her foot angrily, the woman continued her harangue with heightened animosity. "And you, boy, were foolish to believe that she could actually handle whatever love you had to offer!"  
  
His mouth twitched. Dib had had enough.  
  
"How can you place that responsibility on someone's shoulders?" shouting now, all inhibitions cleared away, Dib rushed up to the woman, threatening to push her away. His adrenaline was moving faster then the cylinders inside of a race car, and it showed in his face, which was by this time red hot with disgust. "How can you expect someone to just take the place of someone else? Without choice? Without reason?! What did she do to deserve this?!!"  
  
"Because she was ~my~ experiment....~my~ knowledge and scientific devotion personified....~MY~ life and ~MY~ chance to regain something lost!!!" the woman screamed into his face, hair haphazardly pushed aside to reveal the same face Nel had cowered from before. But those fiery eyes from before were smothered now, a candle of sanity lost as the ravaged and desolate woman tore herself away from Dib, collapsing onto the ground, tears straining from her face. "I had every right! I should have had every right!!!"  
  
"No one has the right to someone's life..original or copy...." Dib said grimly, watching as the sick, demented mother began to smash her hands against the cold, unfeeling ground, bashing her skin until spots of blood began to tarnish the cement. Bits of flesh soon fell off, just as Dib spun around; the corridor in front of him appeared longer then he had remembered. He slunk away quietly, trying to cloud out the woman's inane and ear- piercing screams, the sickening noise as one of her hands finally snapped, the bone crunching against the floor. He flinched in repugnance as the other hand soon followed, the shrieks intensifying as the woman writhed on the floor in pain, whether from her broken bones or torn mind.  
  
A tear soon fell down his own cheek, a tear of pity, of pain...  
  
The single door seemed to open on its own as Dib left the building, rain splattering onto his pale, already chilled skin. How many days of rain would fall onto his city before they would finally empty themselves?  
  
Looking behind him, Dib was shocked to find that the lab's "secret entrance" was nothing more then the back door to the local Crazy Taco, cleverly hidden with corporate warnings and "Do Not Enter" signs. Litter and half-eaten burritos cluttered the ground at his feet, probably props to help further disguise their facility. Dib kicked a half-crushed can out of his way as he walked along a dilapidated stone path towards the main sidewalk.  
  
~Just like before..~ Dib thought to himself, pensive in a world of rain and dreariness. The drops were starting to come down even harder now, heavy blankets of water crashing down on the earth. It reminded him of the day in which he had given Nel his jacket...it reminded him of her first day of school. Everything reminded him of Nel, the girl he thought he could have called his own. It still needed to sink in that he would probably never see her face again. He grieved for her...she would probably never leave that pitiless lair again, never see sunlight again, never smile as a rainbow crested across the sky...never smile again.  
  
He was being tied down by the heaviness of this reality now.  
  
The rain was starting to chill him to the bone.  
  
The part that really shocked was the fact that he could do nothing now. He was helpless and useless...he could never have helped her.  
  
~How can I handle this...~ he mourned her loss, her absence, her everything....he mourned everything that she was and what he wasn't. ~Its too heavy...~  
  
His feet had carried him to some distant place by now, lost in this mindless wander lust. Meandering about incoherently, Dib hadn't even realized that he was actually moving until his feet stopped at a no-name street.  
  
Her hand had felt so cold back then...when he had touched it, when he had touched her face; Dib could keenly recall and remember the shivers that had gone through his entire body the moment he had grasped her hands here.  
  
~~~ Cripes...what's wrong with you?~~~  
  
How could he have been so careless back then? Had he really loved her all that much?  
  
~~~Nothing...Nothing is wrong...~~~  
  
He could lose himself in her innocence it was so overbearing..she was so kind, so gentle. Her shine could light a thousand planets. With eyes like that of a deer led to slaughter, unknowing of all the tragedy surrounding it, she had been..standing there in the middle of a storm....Dib bit his lip at the very thought.  
  
~~~Why don't you get out of this rain or something....why are you here?~~~  
  
Had it been only a few weeks ago that he had said that, when he had first given her his jacket...  
  
He sneezed suddenly, scaring himself with the sudden retort, the burst shooting through his naval cavity like a torpedo. Hugging himself tightly, Dib turned away from that spot in which Nel had first asked for his name..he now knew why she had, and he inwardly cursed his father, damned him for creating a creature like Nel. Walking back towards his home, Dib felt empty now, empty like a pond that had dried up, all the animals that were once in it had died or fled. He felt hopeless...futile even. There was no more strength left for self-pity.  
  
Hands numb....fingers numb. He couldn't cry anymore..Dib just felt like dying.  
  
"So, you know the truth...don't you?"  
  
"I don't care anymore, Zim...get the hell out of my way," Dib didn't bother to look up, could already tell who was once again obstructing his path. He passed right by the Irken's shadow and figure, ignoring the paroxysmal little dog that was bounding by his feet.  
  
"Hey there Mister!!!!" it laughed out loud, a lollipop still jammed into its mouth, saliva falling onto the ground. "Do you wanna taste? It's Poop-Candy flavored! TAASTEEEEE!!!"  
  
"GIR!! Get serious!" temper flaring from Dib's disinterest, an umbrella clutched tightly in his hand, the Irken kicked the robot in its hind- quarters, sending it flying off in some random direction. "I came out in this putrid, filthy Earthen weather to confront you, Dib- Human! You will notice me! NOTICE ME!!!"  
  
Dib abruptly stopped, water dripping off of his chin, only to be replaced by fresh droplets. His eyes were already red from crying, both inside and out, so he didn't bother to open them.  
  
"What do you want; if you're going to blast me with a sub-micronic laser, go ahead..." Dib didn't put up a fight as Zim charged towards him, boots splashing on the pavement, kicking up mud and rainwater. Using whatever latent Irken strength he had, the little, green alien picked Dib up by the collar of his shirt, the boy's feet dangling uselessly in the air. "I don't care anymore..."  
  
"What is this? This lack of fight!" viper-tongue flailing about, Zim then threw Dib onto the damp ground, "I demand that you fight back! Listen to me demand!"  
  
"I hear you well enough," Dib said with a grunt, wiping grime from his cheek, mud caked onto his brow. His shirt was completely saturated; water was even soaking into his socks by now, but it meant little to him. Everything was peanuts compared to the desperation inside.  
  
He thought Nel would be his distraction, his retreat from a mundane life of aliens and world domination. But where was she now? All Nel could ever amount to was a puppet, deluded, reduced to nothing. All the love he mustered had meant nothing to her, Dib knew that now.  
  
"Then listen some more, I say!" ever enthusiastic about whatever caper he set forth on, Zim kicked Dib so that he lay on his back, rain spitting onto his glasses. They were already smeared with street filth by now. "The Nel-human is with me...but if you want to know more about her, then you must pay attention..."  
  
Tapping his fingers together diabolically, the Irken, iridescent contacts gleaming from the street lamps, grinned a rather fiendish smile, evil playing on his lips. Dib simply lay where he had fallen, body growing frigid and anesthetized with the torrential rain.  
  
"I see that you have finally recognized my superiority against your less- then-superior self. That gives me much pleasure, Dib-human..." he sneered, not paying attention to GIR, who was now splashing in the nearby puddles screaming various TV jingles at the top of his mechanical lungs while beating his lollipop on trash can lids. "But there are other aliens in the galaxy who would also wish to claim this worm-baby infested glob of soil and pond-scum...and toilet seats...and lice..."  
  
"Get to the point, Zim!" Dib burst out, causing the disguised alien in surprise.  
  
"Of course, foul Earthen child..of course," with another wicked smile, Zim took his time to continue, obviously relishing in Dib's more then apparent impatience. "Case in point: the Tristanum race...my grand army of Irkens have forever been at war with this war-bearing nation , found only on the now self- eradicated planet Triste."  
  
"What do you mean, 'self-eradicated'?" Dib interjected, interest suddenly perked, as if someone had manually stimulated his brain.  
  
"They were a victim of their own tyranny, which rivals only that of the Irkens themselves," Zim replied, satisfied by the boy's curiosity. Everything was following his precise plans. "They are vile, malicious and cruel to all those that stand in their way, and will stop at nothing until they have fulfilled their desires, contaminating every planet within reach. Until now, I thought that this planet would not make it onto their menu, but I was erroneous.. "There is a single Tristanum on this planet, right now, just waiting to make its first move, plotting and gaining new information for its leaders. It won't be long before they arrive, and it's safe to assume that you're pitiful planet will be nothing compared to the great fleets of Triste..."  
  
"Why are you telling me this? And how can I trust you so easily?" Dib questioned with a raised eyebrow, slowly rising off of the ground, also ignoring the reckless robot that was dancing the can-can around his feet.  
  
"This planet is mine for the taking...it has been claimed for conquering by the Irken Empire, and will not be given up easily, not while I stand to defend it from competition," eyes thin with seriousness, Zim pulled a small pair of purple and red goggles from his back pack, its metal surfaces glinting. He handed it to human before him, trying his best not to actually touch the boy's hand, lest he contract any of his repulsive essence or dirt. "I knew it wouldn't be easy contracting the help of such a..talented and intelligent individual...take a look through these, and you'll witness the destruction wrought by the Tristanum and their weapons..."  
  
Eying the goggles warily, Dib pondered his choices at this point: he could head-butt the raving alien, kick him in the crotch and then flee, laughing all the way home....or he could play along and perhaps get a chance to infiltrate the alien's defenses. The first would certainly be much more humorous of the two options, but the value of the later soon overruled. Before he could give it a second thought, however, GIR, who had all this time been sneaking up on Dib, ripped the goggles out of its master's gloved hands, slamming them onto Dib's oversized head, the straps nearly tearing upon impact.  
  
Red was cast over Dib's sight as the lenses were plunged over his face, the circulation to his brain temporarily cut off by the constricting straps of the strange, Irken goggles. Plunged into a surreal virtual reality of sorts, Dib suddenly felt terribly queasy as he saw from behind the lenses a planet, the surface veneered in flame. The visuals became so intense; the flames were licking up towards him as a ship, battered by some battle, careened over head. From outside the goggles, Dib ducked the invisible ship, as Zim, holding his sides, howled with laughter.  
  
"What is this?!" Dib shrieked as a missile was fired from the ship towards the planet, its surface erupting in flame again. He was taken aback by the violence spreading before his eyes, the explosions erupting left at right at the seemingly defenseless planet. "Stop it! STOP IT!!!"  
  
The picture suddenly began to fade, like sand sifting through an hourglass, as the real world came back into view. But Dib's hearing was still impaired; a new sound, one other then the roar of missiles and turmoil, was beginning to filter through the goggle's ear pieces.  
  
It was a song...he had heard it before....somewhere...  
  
"That....those voices...." he whispered, as Zim's eyes widened, as if he were suddenly afraid. "Those...songs..."  
  
"GIR!! Grab the Irken visors, NOW!" he ordered, causing the now obedient robot to lung itself towards the phased boy, its metal hands removing the head-piece. His already swollen head pounding like a drum, Dib clapped his hands to his temples, eyes shut in pain. "So...you have seen the force that is the Tristanum Fleet, the havoc they wrecked upon that planet?"  
  
"That voice...it sounded like...like Nel! But..b-but it couldn't be.." Dib stuttered, heart still racing from the sheer terror he had witnessed from behind the goggles. His vision was blurred, inhibited, and every breath was a labor to pass. Involuntarily, Dib braced himself against the nearby Irken, too weak to stand on his own. The visions had seemed so real, as if he had been floating alongside that massive battle cruiser, been there to watch it blow a planet into oblivion. "How...how could this be?"  
  
"That is the senseless and violent nature of the Tristanum race. Even the Irken Armada has admitted defeat to them..." Zim said gravely, as he then made a sound of disgust as Dib nearly collapsed onto him. "The one we have known as Nel..has come here to finish what I have started."  
  
"You knew...you knew all along," voice hushed, Dib felt his strength returning, the effects of the visor dissipating, "You knew from the moment you saw her, that she was dangerous...I should have known...I should have seen it coming..."  
  
"It just goes to prove how insignificant you humans are," the Irken agent mocked, placing the goggles back into his pack, as he brought his wrist communicator up to his mouth. "But even so, I will need your help if I am to defeat this mighty foe...she only trusts you...."  
  
"So, what you're saying is that we should join forces, eh?" Dib smiled sardonically, as the irony of the situation finally revealed itself. "I never thought I would ever come upon such a predicament..."  
  
"Believe me, I can already feel my squidly-skooch inverting itself in disgust at the mere notion of working alongside such an infidel as you..." Zim sneered once more, "but as you humans put it, drastic times call for drastic measures....are you with me?"  
  
"To save the world from someone other then you?" Dib raised an eyebrow quizzically, "Just so I can save it again from you...count me in."  
  
"Good, then let us go to my base," pressing a sequence of bottoms on his wrist panel, and then speaking some form of alien speech, Zim's image began to fade away, as rings of holographic energy materialized around both alien, human, and robot.  
  
Dib felt his mind become hazy again, a humming drone resounding in his ear drums as his body disappeared slowly and gradually.  
  
"Beam me up..." 


	12. Chapter 10: Lightning Part Two

Chapter 10: Lightning (part two)  
  
Science is the ultimate double-edge sword.  
  
Studded with technology beyond the imagination, Dib let his eyes soar through the laboratory, never blinking, never missing the chance to absorb the wonders around him. It was unbelievable, the underground facility that the Invader Zim had seemingly constructed over night. Both Dib and Zim had arrived in the sub-terrain labyrinth hours ago, but the young boy had only investigated a small portion of it; the entire place seemed to sprawl on for miles on end, sinking ever further into the earth's underworld. Every inch shined with a metallic glimmer and Dib's mind spun with envy; there were so many inventions that the human race was so far from discovering.......in some cases it may have been for the best. Several of the Irken's machines were outfitted with lasers, weapons of destruction, and Dib feared their intended uses, feared and was yet ever so curious and amazed......  
  
With the looming walls surrounded him like metal golems, the intricate machinery monstrous and overbearing complicated, Dib, beside himself in incredulity was half-tempted to give his nemesis a congratulatory pat-on- the-back. But the raven-haired boy would be damned before setting one foot forth to praise the nefarious alien......would be cursed before he uttered a single word of admiration. No amount of scientific splendor could compel Dib to those lengths, to lose his composition.  
  
He was in the alien's homestead of sorts, in his domain. There would be no instant in which Dib could completely let his guard falter, even if they had agreed to cooperate for this "noble" cause. In the back of his mind, always creeping towards the front lines was the notion that Zim would deceive him. It wasn't as if it was beyond the alien to betray their temporary peace. His every smile was teeming with deceit; he would never be Dib's true ally, even in this moment of desperation.  
  
He was doing this for the sake of his planet alone; there was no other motive behind these risky actions.  
  
"So you are admiring my work, are you?" arms crossed in front of his slender torso, Zim, stripped viper-tongue always lashing, slowly came up from behind Dib. The boy felt his flesh ripple with restlessness; the alien's smug attitude did more than cause Dib a small amount of unease.  
  
"Yes, now that you mention it.......although I can't help but wonder why your superiors entrusted you with some of this technology......." Dib's words cut into the Irken's already inflated ego, "Some of it is obviously too advanced for the likes of you....."  
  
"Now that's no way to treat your temporary ally, is it, worm-baby?" Zim smiled a sharp-toothed smile that seethed with frustration. The alien was apparently none too happy to be working with this filthy human. His only consolation was the doubtless assertion that Dib was none too pleased to be working with him either. Anything that caused the worm-baby an inkling of discomfort would deliver him that much more delight.......anything to watch him suffer, even in silence.  
  
~~~Oh, and how he'll suffer.......~~~ thoughts like poison, Zim fought hard to control the laughter that was boiling to the surface. To have his number one enemy right in his grasp......it was all too perfect......too easy.  
  
"I'm not here because I like you......not because I'd ever want to be working alongside an evil twit like you," Dib replied, as he inspected another gigantic contraption. It looked like some sort of vehicle, one that closely resembled Tak's.......  
  
Tak.......  
  
Dib shook his head quickly, just as the image of the female Irken wandered back into his mind like a sharp stone twisted in his side. He had forgotten her, or so he had previously thought. How foolish he had been. How foolish he still was.......now, after thinking about it for so long, love appeared to be so worthless, so dangerous. What good was love to someone as idiotic as he, he who obviously didn't know how to hold someone's heart close to his own. His mouth tightening, Dib looked away from the space-car of sorts and returned his attention to Zim, who had since drifted off to a partially empty room.  
  
How had things turned to this? It was just last week that he had revealed himself to Nel, confessed his love, his devotion. What had he done wrong, done to deserve this....... Deep down Dib felt as if he was betraying her, leading her down the short corridor of fated doom. Guilt sliced into his whole being at the thought of her lying before Zim and his evil affinities; Dib couldn't even begin to fathom what he had in store for the Tristanum.  
  
Why did he let this grief take hold now, in this moment of decision?  
  
He feared for her safety even now......no matter what had come between them, the truths revealed and the trust lost, he would never want Nel to arbitrarily suffer, never want her to beg for death over torment. He didn't want to see her mouth contort in pain, see any more tears shed on his behalf.......didn't want to hear her call out his name in hope that he would save her. What could he do for her now......what could he have ever done for her in the past.  
  
Dib felt more hopeless then ever as he waited for her eminent passing.  
  
Soon, much too soon, she was going to die.  
  
She was going to leave him, whether he wanted her to or not. Strapped to his feelings, the thoughts he had been fighting for so long, Dib wondered how he could hide from this pain........where could he run.......what could he use to replace the impending solitude that crept up on him like a stalking beast?  
  
Where could he go to escape his memories.........  
  
Would he take this shame to the grave?  
  
Where did his heart and mind lie now, torn between what he knew was right and what his duty to the planet, his mission's demands. He was so afraid of what the repercussions of his actions would be......would he linger on with everlasting compunction. Where would he go for atonement after the deed was done.......after Nel was gone. Or would he loiter for all eternity searching for the light once more?  
  
But he had seen the terror and havoc that her race wielded, the damage that his Earth was so vulnerable to. None of the planet's weapons of defenses could prepare or shield them to the Tristanum's attacks; nothing could save them if Nel was allowed to survive any longer.  
  
It was for the best that she should be killed.  
  
Then why did he still feel so guilty? Where was this knife of remorse and shame coming from, stabbing itself into his heart.......  
  
"When will your robot be back?" Dib demanded. They had been waiting for more then an hour now, and he was growing impatient; he wanted to finish this quickly.  
  
"Give it time, Fat-head......he'll come soon enough, with the repulsive, hideous Tristanum slime-doll in tow," turning to face an examining table of sorts, Zim sneered again, "I must admit my glee towards this event borders on uncontrollable."  
  
"What do you plan on doing to her......it?" Dib gulped, nervously eying the equipment that Zim had pulled out from underneath the cot. It was about the size of an average bed, but looked none too comfortable, not even lined with a blanket. Constructed from some sort of metallic alloy, the table had a small keyboard jutting out of its side, with a plethora of lights and colored dials decorating the surface. But at this moment, it appeared lifeless and dormant; no sounds emanated from the terrible cot. Little knives with sharp curved blades, needles that were individually labeled in Irken script, and several other dissecting tools that seemed to smile from their tray, ready to slice into the nearest victim. Dib shivered. "I thought our plan was to merely eliminate the alien, to protect the planet from the Tristanum fleet."  
  
"And we shall, my stupid little friend, we shall! The whole fleet will feel the tremor as we put down another one of their insipid little servants!" gloved fingers intertwined within one another, Zim quickly dashed over to a row of 4 immensely large, all pitch black except for a few Irken letters blinking in the upper right-hand corner. Several keyboards, all foreign to Dib, were arranged beneath them, and Zim was hurriedly tapping away at them. As he did, several flood lamps inundated the room with light, nearly blinding Dib, his eyes dilating from behind thick lenses.  
  
"Then what is all this?" Dib eyed the knifes again warily, but before he could continue, a small creature bounded up from behind him, nearly colliding into his planted body.  
  
"Master!!!! GIR is BAAACKK!!!!" the automaton shrieked aloud, scaring the daylights out of Dib as he side-stepped just in time to let the small silver and green robot streak by. Much to his hidden relief, Dib noticed that the robot's hands were empty.......maybe she had eluded him.......  
  
"And finally, you moronic compilation of......oh never mind......." fighting to control his temper towards the inept GIR, Zim raised an eyebrow menacingly, "did you bring the girl? Did you capture her?"  
  
"Of coooourse......silly-head......" GIR squealed as he started to suck on a half- eaten lollipop, giving a wave of surety with his free hand.  
  
"And?" becoming more and more irritated, Zim began to tap his foot incessantly. As the robot continued to eat his candy, Dib, still in the adjacent room, felt beads of sweat begin to drip down his back. If she wasn't here, then where? Would she still be in the lab? Had she escaped? Realizing that the half-witted robot was now completely ignoring rim, a river of sugary drool forming at his metal feet, Zim stomped his boots in frustration.  
  
"GIR!!! Stop your insipid candy-eating at once!" he ranted, bopping the robot on top of its head. The harsh impact jostled the machine's virtual brain back into place, as Dib observed the robot's eyes rapidly changing to a deep shade of crimson. Their ruddiness poured into Dib's soul so much that he barely recognized the normally scatterbrained automaton; he was reminded once more that every face hides two personas.  
  
~~~Nel......~~~  
  
"Yes, Sir!!!" standing straight and proud, the soldier-like robot abruptly dashing out of the room, its metallic feet clanging on the ground rapidly, their echo resounding in the room for several seconds. Dib was clinging onto the edge of his wits, wondering if Zim's accomplice had succeeding in apprehending Nel. "The prisoner is in the detention cell. What are your orders, Sir?"  
  
"Splendid, GIR, splendid........bring the Tristanum before me now and prepare her for the.......analysis," licking him lips greedily, Zim pivoted around on one of his booted feet, glaring into Dib's face now, "This won't be long, I assure you."  
  
"But this wasn't what we agreed on!" exasperated, Dib unconsciously found himself backing away into a wall, "There was no mention of.....of this!"  
  
He felt beneath the strands of hair on his head a thick blanket of sweat forming, dribbling down the sides of his face, becoming absorbed in the collar of his signature, black trench coat. Some drops seeped into his eyes, stung, and he quickly wiped away the perspiration, flinching only slightly. Still beaming with delight, Zim reached out with both of his hands, spider-like fingers leering towards Dib's shoulders. Suddenly, without reason, the alien grabbed him tightly with both hands, drew him closely, too close. Their faces were but a few centimeters apart, and Dib could feel the repulsive Irken's breath surging upon his nostrils. He gave another involuntary flinch.  
  
"I thought we might have a bit of fun before disposing of the girl........yes, a bit of scientific exploration that no specie has ever undertook," Zim said, still keeping Dib in his grasps, "I want to see her writhe in pain, pay for the deaths her people have caused mine.......I want to her to realize what a mistake she has made coming to this stupid planet, this orb of maggoty maggots like you........."  
  
"Now that's no way to treat your temporary ally," Dib mocked sourly, shrugging himself free, shoulders tingling from the Irken's tight hold. Zim's strength belied his small stature; he had found that out during any of their scuffles. "I don't want to be a part of your massacre......."  
  
"But you already are, you already are," satisfied with the anxiety he had inflicted upon Dib, Zim returned to the examination table, gloved fingers racing along the on-board computer. It was now active and whirring, and with a chime, a multitude of black and blue metal straps sprung forth from the sides of the bench, laying at the contraptions sides in wait. "As you may have failed to notice, my slave has returned with our specimen......."  
  
Mind racing, blind with confusion and guilt, all connected by strings of hatred, Dib snapped his head around, neck straining. The robot Zim had called GIR was indeed back in the room with them, standing in front of a shadowed figure, naked save for a tattered and shabby sweater, oversized and splattered with a red substance that was undeniably her own blood. Dib smiled grimly; she must have put up some sort of fight during her submission. GIR lead the person towards her coffin and grave, eyes still throbbing with a scarlet radiance, leading her with a chain that was tightly coiled around her thin, fragile neck. She did not look up at Dib; did she know that he stood before him now, in her last waking moments? A silent hope inside of him prayed that she would not see him at all.  
  
"Lead the Tristanum onto the table, GIR," Zim ordered, giving quick glances in Dib's direction, as if to tease him. But the bespectacled teenager simply stood fast in place, lips dry, heart rapping against his ribcage like a lion fighting to be free from its cage. GIR did as he was told, forcefully directing Nel onto the vacant bed, all while roughly removing her chains. Nel was glad to be without the cumbersome shackles, but knew that something worse was bound to come.  
  
She was instantly reminded of her Rose Room, the hollow sanctuary that doubled as her prison. Reminded of the sleepless nights spent alone, the crying that took place after being mercilessly beaten by her mother.  
  
Reminded of the experiments that awaited her day in and day out.  
  
The robot that had attacked her in Professor Membrane's laboratory shoved her atop the steel reinforced table, and the straps, as if compelled by some unseen force, suddenly launched themselves towards her shaking, quivering body. Not giving her time enough to struggle, not even to gasp, Nel soon found herself bound to the table's cold surface; goose bumps formed along her bare arms and legs as tears began to flood her soft, brown eyes.  
  
Where was her savior now........where was Dib.......did he hate her?  
  
Everyone seemed to hate her. No matter how hard she tried, she always seemed to disappoint.  
  
Tossing her head from side to side, muted whimpers barely passing her clenched teeth, Nel's sight barely missed catching hold of Dib's presence as he leapt into a small alcove, hidden in the shade. He gave a long, heart- aching sigh, rubbing the back of his neck slowly with one sweaty palm.  
  
The knives from the dissection table's tray seemed to gleam in bloody anticipation.  
  
What fate was the Irken going to condemn Nel to? Dib felt his forehead becoming hot with frustration. Would he simply stand and watch as Zim slowly tore her apart, slowly killing her like a person being buried alive?  
  
Was he truly a moral person?  
  
"You're probably wondering why I've brought you here........" Zim began, voice rich with victory. He picked up one of his autopsy tools, a blade with a long thin handle, and held it between two of his fingers, let it swivel slowly. Eyes soaked with terror, Nel let her jaws hang open, tongue arid and mouth waterless now.  
  
"You can speak, can you? Speak!!!"  
  
"I........I......." Nel stuttered pitifully, but before she could squeeze out another word, Zim let his hand lash forward, a silver line cutting through the air as his blade left a small rent across her delicate face. Her skin peeled apart where the razor edge had kissed her, but she showed no sign of pain, save a single tear that trailed down her cheek, falling on the table beneath her.  
  
"Too slow.......much too slow you piece of Tristanum filth......." the Irken used his tongue to lick her blood off of the knife before setting it back onto the tray. "Even your blood is foul......."  
  
Zim relished in seeing the girl's blood washing down her face; the cut had been tiny and clean, but had been made deep enough so that a rivulet of burgundy fluid now painted her skin.  
  
~~~Was her name........Nel?~~~  
  
"Perhaps you really do not have a single simple-minded clue.......how sad........" Zim clucked his viper-tongue in false-sympathy as he slowly sauntered to the row of screens that were set along the expansive wall. "I've waited my entire life to prove myself to the Tallest, to prove myself without the use of sweets and candy........and now I finally can........  
  
"But before we start, I'd thought I'd let you enjoy some video clips I just happened to stumble upon; I'm sure you'll find them highly enjoyable and entertaining."  
  
A smile filled with malice was painted upon his face with oils of cruelty and wickedness. Bringing his attention back to his control panel, Zim commenced a long series of button taps and dial turns, fully concentrated on the task at hand, heart fluttering with eagerness. From her vantage point, Nel felt like a animal about to be cut open, except she knew what about to happen, was completely aware of this harsh reality that was beginning to unfold in front of her. She wished she were more ignorant, wished the end would come quickly. She wished she had never been born.  
  
"Ah-ha.......here we go.......now watch my little friend.......watch and be informed of your crimes," apparently satisfied, Zim stepped away from the keypads and monitors, skirting back to Nel's side, almost tempted to drag Dib out of his hiding nook, let the blade of guilt sink into the human's flesh deeper yet. But his time would come; Zim would make sure of this. A lone figure appeared on the screen, the picture itself being somewhat shoddy; Dib could barely make out the person's face as lines as static coursed across the monitor, although a feeling of déjà vu was starting to overwhelm him. Had he seen this person before? How long ago?  
  
"Entry 45-a.......this is Maurer, chief scientist for the Fern Project," the man spoke in garbled words; the video had obviously been unkempt before Zim had confiscated them. But even through the distortion, one could extract a certain sense of achievement and pride from the man's voice. Dib strained his ears to make out the person's utterances, slowly departing from the shadowed alcove. He finally remembered the man as the uncouth scientist that had confronted him in his hospital bed, and Dib's fist clenched by themselves in agitation.  
  
"We have made significant progress in the Project, and have successfully created a zygote using the foreign DNA material. Although the vitality of the newly formed embryo is undeterminable at this point, these first steps will soon pave the way to discovering more about the alien life unearthed at Roswell. Although the alien DNA has been cloned with a human's genetic material, it should not interfere with our research. We have noticed that a large percentage of the genetic code is similar to that of a human's."  
  
Dib mouthed the last word in amazement, eyes alight with fascination and disquiet. His father had already divulged that Nel was a clone, but the source of her genetic material had since then been a mystery.  
  
Sometimes being left in the dark was better then being blinded by the glow of truth. Dib listened on as monitors began to display another video clip.  
  
"Entry 27-c.........this is Maurer, scientist for the Fern Project.........the zygote has entered mitosis soon after fusion, and the cell counts are incredible. I have never witnessed such accelerated division and growth in all my life. My colleagues and I are interested to see how long it will take before the specimen is able to leave its artificial womb."  
  
Incredulous to the information being fed, Nel closed her eyes tightly. The Irken chuckled quietly, and then turned slightly to see that the girl was resisting his torture; his smile faded swiftly. A quick motion from his hand delivered a hard slap, the strike's noise resonating in the cavernous facility. Livid with rage, Dib nearly tossed himself forwards to tackle Zim, but caught himself in time. He could not expose himself, not yet........ Eyes forced open once more, Nel focused on the screen once more, just in time to view the next clip. The sides of her face ruddy and burning with Zim's handprint etched on her cheek with her own dripping blood.  
  
"Entry 51-m..........Maurer of the Fern Project........" the man's face was noticeably more thin, worn with fatigue it seemed. Dib, now only arm's length from the examination table, watched intently, careful not to draw Nel's attention.  
  
"In a mere 3 months, the specimen has reached embryonic maturity and has been delivered from its artificial womb successfully. Although the specimen's genetic code, as was earlier discovered, is similar to a human's, we have since discovered that it is in much greater abundance.  
  
"This gives the specimen much greater mental capacities then we could have ever predicted. Its development is astonishing, and on several occasions, the specimen has even escaped from its holding pen.  
  
"Even with such hastened development, it has become apparent that although the specimen appears humanoid, its physical body at times becomes overwhelmed by its advanced alien DNA, causing the specimen to exhibit lapses in consciousness. Great measures have been taken to keep the specimen alive, especially during experimentation."  
  
"This.....this can't be true......" Nel finally choked out, hands thrashing about, only to be snapped back by her bonds, "This is all a lie......"  
  
"You may wish it was, but the greatest truth is about to be revealed!" Zim cackled, stomping a boot on the ground in amusement, "Watch before I carve a matching gash on the other side of your face......."  
  
Stricken with fear, Nel bit her lower lip and caught her breath again, another tear dousing her threadbare sweater. Dib craved to wipe those tears away; how could something so pure and innocent looking be so dangerous, like a poisonous flower, so precious and beautiful, yet at the same time volatile and unpleasant to the taste. But he reminded himself of his mission, his obligation to his Earth.......was it really worth this slow, lingering torture?  
  
"Entry 350-t........the specimen's growth is now terrifyingly rapid," Maurer now appeared haggard, coifed hair disheveled. He didn't even bother to mention his name in the video clip at this point, or his title, his pride washed away like the ebbing tide. "At 3 years of growth, the specimen has taken the form of a young child, and has also adopted the name of our chief scientist's deceased daughter.  
  
"The girl is frighteningly gifted, displaying an advanced intelligence like no other. Her problem solving skills have allowed her to nearly escape our maximum security facility on several occasions now, and severe actions have been taken to contain the specimen.  
  
"Not only is the specimen clever, but it has also exhibited a power that we have yet to classify. During a routine testing, the specimen cried out, and through its vocal chords released a variety of several different notes, creating a sort of hypnotic trance; three of our scientists did not recover from the cry.......  
  
"What is this power that the girl has? Can it be controlled? And if not, would it be right to eliminate the specimen?"  
  
The screens abruptly went blank as the last video clip reached its end, leaving a heavy, tangible feeling of dread hanging in the air. Nel's hot breaths were the only audible noise, torn between her heart's desire to live and her unending guilt for having caused so many grief and pain.  
  
"You are a murderer, Nel......one of the beings of Triste," Zim spoke gravely, picking up another clean blade, edging it closer and closer to her face, "No matter how hard you may try, you will always be a wretched creature of an equally wretched race. No matter how much you fight, you will always kill........it is in your blood. It is for the sake of this planet that you must now die."  
  
"I don't........don't want to die though," sobbing uncontrollably, Nel let herself become limp on the table, "but.......I cannot go on........kill me........"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry to be disappointing you, Tristanum, but I won't be doing the deed tonight........" Zim smiled again, as he pressed a single red button on the table's control panel, causing it to spin around quickly. Rotating in a counter-clockwise motion, Nel shifted uncomfortable in her restraints.  
  
She felt an invisible kick being dealt onto her heart as her eyes suddenly fell on Dib.  
  
A tear fell from both their eyes.  
  
~~~I didn't make it rain........~~~  
  
Zim rushed to Dib's side, placing the blade in his pale hand, forcing the boy to grasp the handle. He then faced Nel again, teeth exposed in a particularly nasty grin.  
  
"He will be." 


	13. Chapter 11: Hurricane

Chapter 11: Hurricane  
  
Thunder rumbled ahead, the booming noise traveling deep into the sodden Earth, an unsettling growl that shook the walls surrounding Dib. The pitter- patter of raindrops was also perceptible now, all signs of a developing storm mustering its strength in one mighty crescendo.  
  
But Dib couldn't hear any of that now. Someone must have shoved cotton balls in his ears; everything seemed to be muted. If felt like a dream........he felt stagnant, and yet, floating........it felt like a dream......  
  
His mind reeled back to better times, being able to hold Nel in his arms, feeling her skin against his, tracing the lines of her body with his shaking fingers, looking deep into her sorrowful eyes. Knowing that at one point he had been able to make her smile like no one else could; it was that fact that kept him sane at this moment, when all other hopes seemed to be fading.  
  
When all else had fallen apart, he remember the love he had shared with Nel.  
  
But now he just wanted to be alone again.......he didn't want to hurt anyone anymore, didn't want to screw up anyone else's life. Could he go back and change every wrong move that he had made? Retrace every step? Dib didn't know what was worth fighting for, why he wanted to scream as his eyes trailed back and forth between Nel and the knife he held tightly.  
  
Had she ever loved him in the first place? Had he just been a pawn in some long-winded scheme, a card in her deck, waiting to be placed on the table?  
  
Zim had shown him the fate that Earth would face, had shown him the power the Tristanum wielded. Hell, he had heard it first hand, had almost been taken by the force she brandished, almost fallen into an eternal sleep from where there would be no return. Now that he thought about it, perhaps it ~had~ all been a scam, a despicable farce. Had she really meant to kill him?  
  
His ear's were burning with turmoil and chaos........he was beginning to hate his predicament, hated where fate had led him. Why did those closest to him seem to hurt him the most, stab him in the heart when his guard was dropped? Was their aim so sure that they could fell him so easily, or was he just an easy target?  
  
When all else had fallen apart, he would always remember the love he thought he had shared with Nel.  
  
He wished he had never met that girl, her memory a dark stain in his past and present.......he desired to remove her from his future.  
  
He could move on.......had to move on.........  
  
The knife in his hand twitched.  
  
"Dib........" the girl's mouth barely moved, lips slightly separated. Anxiety had taken hold of her soul, and she felt her vigor waning under the immense pressure that was slowly crushing her will to the ground. To see him before her now had at first provided some amount of relief, and she felt as if he would be her savior, her shining light, her escape, her aid. But then her eyes had fallen on the weapon in his hand, the alliance he shared with the green-skinned alien. Wasn't he also a classmate of Dib's at skool?  
  
Her soul was shattering.  
  
Outside, another bolt of lightening speared across a darkened sky, the rain clouds torn by the streaks of radiant electricity.  
  
"Dib.......please tell me what's happening," Nel said from beneath a veneer of tears, nose and cheeks flushed with distress, heart sinking further into its cavity, "Why are you doing this?"  
  
"Did you ever love me.......or was I just your little chess piece?" said Dib, words breathy and tense, his eyes boring into her from behind his thick- framed glasses. He could feel a vein beginning to swell in his forehead........all the clues were finally coming together, the key-stone of truth holding everything together. He began to close in on the table. "Did you want to see me dead?"  
  
"No.......no! Never!!!" she called out from her table, arms straining to break free from their shackles, but it was a fruitless expedition; they held fast. They stretched and strained, cutting into her already scarred skin, but never budged. Nel's mouth became as thin and sharp as the blade that Dib held, realizing that his mind was slowly becoming poisoned and rotten. "I would never kill anyone........never kill......."  
  
"Then what of those Earthen scientists?" Zim interjected, physically placing himself in between the table and Dib, who at first tried to dash forward, plant his knife into Nel's vulnerable flesh. "It was you that ended their lives of pond scummy-goodness, crushed them with your force........did you not enjoy it?!"  
  
"NO!!!" Nel finally shrieked out, taking the Irken by surprise, mouth wide in anger and sorrow. Her eyebrows were tense, strained and taught as she once more tried to free herself. Sensing her actions, GIR, who had miraculously retained his astute conduct, launched himself onto the metal cot, arms wildly thrashing about as if to strike her.  
  
But Dib had had enough, and he also moved forward, pushing Zim out of his way. His knife was drawn, shining in the bright fluorescent lights of the room, as he cut through the air like a diving falcon. Hair whipping about his face, tears still running down his face, Dib quickly back-handed GIR in the face, sending him reeling. The robot was thrown several feet away, clanging on the ground three times before finally coming to a rest; he did not get back to his feet.  
  
Without Zim holding him back, without his reservations, without his love for Nel, Dib was seething with rage, eyes alive now, unclouded. His teeth were grinding against one another, as he was beside himself in anger, jumping on top of the dissection table, placing himself over Nel, hands raised above his head.  
  
He felt like he was floating........the thunder could not awaken him from this dream of silent ire. The world around him was swirling like a hypnotic mist, so unreal, so dreamlike, and with his prey beneath him, Dib saw a beast rather then a small, helpless girl, saw some thrashing animal with claws and snarling teeth.  
  
"I'll kill you, you fucking alien bitch!!!" Dib screamed like a warrior, glasses falling down his face, his entire body twitching and shaking, "You.......you tried to kill me!!!! You USED me!!!!"  
  
"Please, Dib, don't listen to the lies!!!" pleaded Nel, trying with all her diminutive strength to break through her bonds, while at the same time struggling to shatter Dib's rage. But his face was now contorted with ferocity, white with a kind of vehemence that only she could apparently incite. "I love you!!!"  
  
"You never loved anyone but yourself!!!" he spat back into her face, raising his hands higher, preparing to take the final plunge, preparing to remove all his memories of Nel. "You never love me!! STOP LYING TO ME!!!!"  
  
~~~I'll give up a part of me.......~~~  
  
His hands began to descend, the knife's glint trailing downwards.  
  
~~~I'll forget everything.......you'll see......~~~  
  
Clutching his cure tightly, Dib closed his eyes, a wicked smile playing on his pale lip.  
  
~~~You'll see.......~~~  
  
Nel gave a quick gasp.  
  
The blade quickly entered her chest, lodging itself into her cavity, tickling her lungs and bones. Her heart stopped momentarily, every breath an act of pain, every movement she made another reason for the knife to dwell deeper inside her. Hands that before were jerking and shuddering now fall failed to move, laying limply on the icy table.  
  
The whole world seemed to stop, the rain halted, the thunder quieted.  
  
Her eyes were wide, pupils so small now, the whites so ebullient, glowing. Dib bent down as if to kiss her sardonically, and licked some of her blood from her face, driven insane by anguish, the ostensibly never-ending misery that life had dealt him all these long years.  
  
"I'll.......I'll kill you......." Dib whispered into her ears, lips quivering with fulfillment. He un-opened his eyes now, lids parting slowly, as he pulled his hands away from Nel's body, leaving the medicinal knife embedded in her body, a pool of blood expanding from the wound. His hands were already covered with the red stuff, caking in between his fingers, already coagulating. "I'll see you dead........"  
  
But then he looked into her eyes again. The light was fading from the brown orbs of her face, the color evaporating from her supple skin. Her lips, once so soft, looked cold and dry; she had managed to twist the corners of her mouth into the most serene, unearthly smile. Eyelashes fluttering languidly, all the fight had left her being, all the spirit and energy seeping out from underneath her. Although her smile remained, Dib knew deep down that it wasn't born from happiness, but resolution, from acceptance that she was going to die by the hands of her lover, her friend.  
  
He was sending her to her grave. He had taken that last step into oblivion.  
  
"Dib......." she choked, a splash of blood frothing out of her mouth. It was so red against the pale color of her flesh, "I-if this is what........what will make you happy........I will go."  
  
Opening her mouth as wide as her facilities would allow, Nel little by little craned her head back, dolefully resting it against the table's cold exterior. Her hair was splayed about, golden locks lost amongst a sea of brown and red, and it was as if she had forgotten that a fatal wound had been dealt upon her feeble body. From behind the table, Zim smiled to himself, slowly pulling out a small gun-like mechanism from the secret inner pocket of his uniform. This was the moment he had been waiting.  
  
Furtively moving towards the other side of the table, so that he was squarely facing Dib, who still lost in his trance. With the huge monitors behind him, face emotionless and composed, the Irken prepared to fire.  
  
His finger inched towards the trigger. Dib would be none the wiser.  
  
~~~She could put angels to shame........~~~  
  
The sound began as a soft cooing noise, barely noticeable above the roar and clamor echoing above, but slowly gaining strength, like a snowball tumbling down a shallow hill.  
  
Zim's antennae twitched; he was suddenly unable to move, paralyzed by a nearly undetectable force. His shoulders shook, nerves racing, blood pumping as his ears began to pick up an increasingly more prominent voice, emanating from the metal table before him. He tried to snap the trigger back, but his senses were failing him, his fingers were not obeying his mind's orders.  
  
"What is this sickly sound.......it makes my mind reel and churn like sickly earthen butter laden with bile and deer ticks........" he muttered, involuntarily dropping his brand, not able to hold it in his hands any longer. For some reason, all his strength had suddenly abandoned him.  
  
It was then that the hushed hum began to reverberate, splitting and dividing into separate pieces. Complex harmonies arose from Nel's mouth as she started to sing, the mournful, grief-stricken, lyrics of the Triste spilling forth effortlessly. The notes swam together, joining and parting effortlessly like the tributaries of a river, like separate strings of yarn intertwining to become one blanket.  
  
"No......" the single word barely had time to leave Zim's vocal chords before he staggered backwards, clutching his head within his hands as Nel's voice suddenly rose in volume a hundred fold, the uncorrupted and wholly innocent song piercing the evil air in the room, slicing into Zim's brain, reminding him of his race's defeat, so long ago, and yet so fresh in his mind. "STOP IT!!!! STOP IT NOW!!!!"  
  
But she would not cease, as she now let the song of Triste pour like a rushing waterfall, blocking out the sound of rain and thunder, the sound of Zim's shrieks as he thrashed about the ground, his ears unable to stand the sound of her melodious song. He crashed into the computer behind him, elbows smacking into the keyboards, fingers still digging into his green skin, tiny rivulets of Irken blood now dripping down his face and arms.  
  
Suddenly, a familiar video clip appeared on all of the screens at once, the very same images that Dib had seen from behind Zim's goggles, the visions of wreckage and war. The fires were just as alive, just as terrible looking.  
  
Looking up from Nel's devitalizing body, Dib looked with glazed eyes towards the screen. The world was at last coming back into his focus, his conscious mind finally slipping back down onto the waking world. He couldn't feel the girl's blood washed over his face, but he could definitely perceive the image on the screens with new-found attention, with newly regained awareness. Unexpectedly cold and weak, Dib tumbled off of the cot, tumbling to the ground in a hazed clump; Nel's song was beginning to take him as well. But he fought now, strength returning, to maintain hold of this world, this reality, this moment. Neck arched, head tilted upwards, Dib stared at the screen intensely, noticing that the image was now being magnified several times as Zim continued to accidentally manipulating the images with his sporadic motions.  
  
So lost in his feverish craze was Zim that he failed to notice that the symbols of the ship being overtaken by the Triste were slowly coming into focus. A symbol very familiar to Dib after all these years, he felt foolish for not realizing his folly before.  
  
The insignia of the Irken Armada was now made clear on all four of the room's monitors, blaring down into Dib's eyes. He felt his stomach fall out from beneath him as Nel's song finally came to a close, her eyes closing once more. She lay lifeless on the table now.  
  
"The race being overtaken.......the Irkens........" his mind numb, Dib once again felt the pieces falling into place.......but this time things were finally right, finally true, "The Triste were protecting themselves.......from the Irken......."  
  
He pulled himself back onto his feet, legs at first clamoring, knees clacking against one another in his weakened, immensely confused state. But he quickly regained his stature, felt his vision, both physical and mental, coming back under his control. The verve pulsated through his very being, bringing his sense of confidence back to his heart and mind, and Dib, fueled now with Zim's impending betrayal, clenched his fists tightly, nails digging into his palms.  
  
"They were protecting themselves.......from YOU!!!!" mouth wide in anger, tears flooding his eyes, Dib flew forward once more, unarmed except for his awesome and devastating guilt. He flew like the wind, trench coat whipping behind him, and sooner than Zim could ready himself, Dib collided into his with the force of a battering ram, fists bearing down upon him like rapid strikes of lightning.  
  
The assault came quickly like a pack of wolves over taking their prey. Lost inside his thoughts of responsibility, Dib did not dare hold back against his enemy, no matter how helpless he appeared now. His hands smashed into Zim's face like bricks, legs kicking now as well, trying to cause as much pain as was humanly possible. He took the alien's head into his own hands and rammed his forehead forward, his glasses nearly splitting in two. Recoiling backwards, Zim barely registered the blows and kicks landing on his stomach and sides as he was tossed upon the ground.  
  
But the Irken's instincts soon flooded his mind as well, and Zim finally found the latent potency to fight back, shoving Dib off of him long enough to quickly recuperate.  
  
"You tricked me, you bastard!!!" Dib cried out, readying himself for another attack. Haphazardly lunging forward, he missed his target, and before he could catch himself, Zim cracked his knuckles into Dib's stomach, knocking the wind out of him.  
  
"Is it my fault that you took the bait so easily?" Zim said through ragged breaths, blood forming along his green lips, "my fault that your pathetic, smelly human emotions got in the way?"  
  
Charging forward like a bull, Zim delivered another quick blow to Dib's ribcage, his knee digging into the boy's underside, a sickening noise pouring out of his mouth as he fell onto the ground. Dib felt like he was going to vomit, but before he could give it another thought, Zim lodged his foot underneath his chin, suddenly kicking the toes of his steel-tipped boots into Dib's cheek bones, sending him flailing like a rag-doll across the room.  
  
Willing himself to his feet, a tooth falling out of his mouth, covered with blood and tissue, Dib lunged forward without hesitation, wrapping his fingers around Zim's thin neck, tackling him to the ground. He now had the advantage of surprise, but it was unfortunately going to be short lived, as the stubborn and ruthless Irken hastily countered his grapple. Squirming out from underneath him so that he was now on top, both Zim and Dib had their hands tightly twisted around each other's necks.  
  
Zim lifted up Dib's head for a moment, only to force back onto the cold, unfeeling ground, let his skull crack against the metal surface over and over again, until a small patch of blood appeared underneath him. He smiled at the sight, the perfect picture that was his domination of the human Dib, and suddenly stood upright, walking over to Nel, who remained inert on the dissection table. Encasing the knife's handle in his gloved hands, Zim ripped it out of her body, a small piece of skin still attached to the blade.  
  
She gave a momentary gasp at the weapon's release, a meager spasm that shook the entire bed, but she soon fell back onto the bed, just as Zim was heading back towards Dib's damaged self. His mouth was torn from the inside out, and Zim's kicks had to have broken at least two of his ribs.......he risked having one of his lungs punctured.  
  
"And now, worm-baby, its time for you to see the underside of my mighty and jolly boots of doom......." he spoke softly, crouching down next to Dib, drawing the blade close to his jugular. Dib could barely see now; the frames of his glasses were cracked in so many places that he might as well have been looking through a kaleidoscope.  
  
"Nel........" Dib cracked his lips apart, the life in him slowly departing, "Nel........please listen to me........you must.........sing........if just for this one last time........kill both of us........save the planet........"  
  
"Foolish human.......you killed her, just like you wanted to," Zim grinned, pulling his knife back for an instant to motion towards the quiet table, on which nothing seemed to be stirring. "All to save the planet from a fleet that will never arrive........"  
  
As Dib felt a small, sharp prick begin to form around his neck, the world around him fading once again, he gave one last hope that Nel would somehow forgive him in the next life, that he could redeem himself somehow. Warmth began to spread inside his body, a calming sensation that he recalled from somewhere else, from another time. He felt aloof now, mind starting to close as his eyes filled with tears one last time.  
  
He thought he saw stars now closing in around him, the mist of the galaxy consuming him in its everlasting power. From within the cascading stars Dib swore he saw the outlining of a face, one he hadn't seen in a long time.........one that he had thought he had long since forgotten.  
  
It was etched in the tails of shooting stars, her hair made from the substance of the milky-way. A bright star composed each of the woman's pupils, shining down on him with an affectionate joie de vivre, and with the crescent moon forming her benign smile, Dib felt all the hurt inside leaving, his mind going numb. Her long, smooth arms, beautiful as the rings of Saturn, cradled him tightly, soothing, almost coaxing him into slumber  
  
The struggle abandoned him, the pain fled from his burnt soul, and the raven-haired boy, eyes purple and bruised, could barely decipher fantasy from reality, wondered if this starry persona was actually standing there before him.  
  
~~~I feel so.......happy.......~~~Dib thought as a mystical smile appeared on his face  
  
~~~I guess death isn't so bad after all....... I guess this is how it ends though.........Mother~~~  
  
The room became silent at last as Nel's song beat down the might of the raging storm one final time, while Dib fell asleep, his body collapsing alongside Zim's, the knife falling out of the alien's hand, clattering beside him, both of them quickly losing the will to live. Even now Zim seemed peaceful, his mouth slightly open, his breaths weakening with every passing second.  
  
And Nel, resting noiselessly, simply lay on the table, the sobs lessening, her own verve flooding out of her body. Turning her face to one side, her skin now impervious to the cold surface on which she rested on, the blood from her chest wound still flowing, the girl wrenched her neck just in time to see Dib succumb to the pressure and gravity that death promised.  
  
No amount of crying could bring him back. No amount of mourning would make his eyes separate, fill his body with renewed life.  
  
"I'm so sorry.........Dib........." she said with hushed words, the din of rain still hammering onto the outside world.  
  
Her mind fell back into the past, the first day she had actually seen Dib.........it had been raining on that day as well.........the day that was the end of all things.........  
  
~~~I didn't make it rain..........~~~  
  
With one last frail gasp, Nel closed her eyes as well. 


	14. Chapter 12: Dew

Chapter 12: Dew  
  
~~~This is our last goodbye........I hate to feel the love between us die~~~  
  
Pain.......so much pain filled every crack, every miniscule inch of Dib's body. He could feel himself being propelled downward, spiraling past all that belonged to the living world, what was once ~his~ world........  
  
His eyes were blinded, a muted blackness swallowing him whole as his senses began to dampen, his fingers losing grip on all that he believed in, losing touch with his own consciousness.  
  
Memories flashed by like blinking lights, momentary trajectories of luminosity flashing in his face, causing his eyes to flinch as he continued his descent; he strained his hands outward, trying to clench onto something, anything.......trying to delay his fall. But his fingers touched nothing as the lights flew by him, hurling past his face and then zipping up above him as he approached some indeterminable fate.  
  
~~~But it's over........just hear this and then I'll go~~~  
  
Searing pressure forced its way into Dib's head, ears muffled from the blazing speed of his plunge, and although all of this should have frightened him into submission, Dib's face remained composed, somber. The world that he was traversing through seemed to be eating him alive, tearing his soul apart as he tumbled further and further downward, the blinking lights now fading out of sight, the darkness returning once more. Dib labored to see in this onyx-colored realm of perpetual motion. At all moments he could feel the end drawing nearer, and he prepared himself for whatever that may be.......he feared and was yet ready for the worst.......  
  
He could barely remember the confrontation with Zim; it was all a thing of the past now, a small facet of his life. Dib struggled to recollect what had happened before he had been thrust into this tunnel of memories, this world inside of a world.  
  
How did he come to this place, this dimension filled with an unending anguish Dib fought to suppress; he would not be taken by his fright, not be a victim to trepidation. Closing his eyes, Dib searched into the back of his mind, to his last thoughts, last sights, last moments, only to find that his brain had been robbed of precisely those memories, only to find that someone had pilfered his most precious possessions. Panic seized him at this moment, and Dib felt himself becoming more and more astray, more out of place. His composure thrown away, he scrambled in place, hair whipping about his face, arms thrashing about like those of a wounded animal.  
  
~~~You gave me more to live for.......more then you'll ever know~~~  
  
Suddenly, quite surprisingly, Dib was bereft of all thought and feeling, the sensation of falling now gone. Paralyzed, either with fear or death, Dib forced his eyes to dart to and fro, but was still faced with eternal darkness; the pitch-black seemed to go on for miles all around him, with not a single light in the distance. The gloom and obscurity hurt his eyes, and he closed them in an effort to block out both the ache as well as the insecurity that was swelling inside of him.  
  
After quite some time, perhaps five or ten minutes, the boy realized that he was no longer in the position a person takes while plummeting, but was now lying on his back, as if he was suspended in mid-air. It was like nothing he had ever experienced.  
  
Was it safe to unclose his sore eyes, feel around his body......would he finally touch some solid anchor, or would he once again be met with nothingness, a sign that he had truly passed from the world he once knew? He was nervous, brain spinning from the fall, cheeks scorched by the zipping wind, but he did not sweat; perhaps he lacked the strength to perspire. He didn't dwell on that thought for long, but instead went about opening his eyes for the first time in what seemed a millennia. What would he see.......would there be flames, would there be light........  
  
A pain began to surge through his body once more, but it was the same pain he had felt all his life, although he had ignored it for so long, a pain that is found in someone's heart. There was a wound there that no one, not even he, could see, that no one could possibly hope to heal. The pain seemed to now spew forth from his vessels, not so much an ache, but instead a terrible sense of dread, of apprehension. This impression had been born so long ago, that Dib had thought it was just a part of him that he was born with.......that there was nothing he could do besides linger and accept that he would never be whole.  
  
But that leaking cavity now reminded him of how the pain was placed within him, how it found its way into his being, how it wound up nestled in his breast like some hidden cancer.  
  
~~~This is our last embrace........must I dream and always see your face~~~  
  
The death of that who had meant so much to him, even if her existence in his life had been so brief, so sweet........it was a persistent, enduring torture session, a never-ending slew of knifes spearing his body.  
  
Why do people die when they do? Why do those that we love so much leave us all too quickly, and why does everything we hate seem to loiter in our lives?  
  
Dib snapped to life, eyes flashing apart.  
  
His actions, unfortunately, were too quick, for a blaring light pierced into his retinas, seared them in the same way a person cuts into a piece of meat. Blinded first by shadow and now again by this incredible radiance, Dib thought at first that he had been cast into some nefarious fire, that it wouldn't be long before the licking flames would render his flesh, cause his skin to contract and wrinkle, before his innards to be roasted alive. Wishing that this confusion would cease, Dib forced his eyes to remain un- shut as he allowed himself to become accustomed to the shattering illumination that was actually warming his skin, but not burning it off.  
  
He was surprised.......he thought by now the flames would have consumed him.......  
  
~~~Why can't we overcome this wall.......maybe it's because I didn't know you at all~~~  
  
The ceaseless space about him started to become more lucid, like a gigantic puzzle being fit together piece by piece. He felt his head pound, a throbbing undulation that resounded within the extents of his skull, but he let it slide off of his weak shoulders, gave more attention to the world around him as it slowly came into focus.  
  
There was a sky ahead, the most perfect, pristine sky he had ever gazed out into, with endless, wispy clouds forming an unspoiled contour of white. Behind the clouds lay a blanket of endless blue, more spotless and pure then the oceans and barrier reefs of the Earth, and Dib swore that he could see his own face, reflecting back at him from that serene, heavenly atmosphere. As his eyes continued to adjust to the scenery, Dib began to take in the increasingly gorgeous area that he had somehow "fallen" into. Grass that was as soft as a person's skin was laid all about him, their blades so perfect, each piece could have been a work of art. And the air was warm, comforting, and Dib found that all of his previous anxiety was disappearing as quickly as the darkness had, as if he was now in some kind of Utopia, where all was infallible.  
  
~~~Kiss me, kiss me please........but kiss me out of desire, not consolation~~~  
  
But Dib could not smile, in spite of himself, as he let his eyes wander further and further, the landscape venturing out into infinity. Was he the only person here? If he was truly dead, then where were all the other souls?  
  
He twitched his fingers to test his bodily functions, and found that they responded quite well. Vigor returning, and feeling rather intrepid in these unfamiliar surroundings, Dib clamored up to his feet, brushing some loose blades of grass and dirt from his knees. Now that he had sufficient light to actually look upon himself, Dib suddenly noticed with much curiosity how all of his wounds had strangely vanished, as if he had never entered Zim's lair in the first place. His mouth, once straight as an arrow, started to contort into a frown.  
  
The air, while sweet-smelling and delightful, had a twinge of insecurity to it, and as he let it sweep through his tangled hair, Dib found himself becoming less and less confident of his environment. As he gazed out at the milieu, Dib noticed how it seemed to reek with perfection, how although all was peaceful and unsullied, it was just too much.......there had to be something here that was wrong......something that didn't quite fit.......  
  
~~~You know, it makes me so angry because I know that in time.......I'll only make you cry~~~  
  
He held fast, legs refusing to obey him now, refusing to journey out into this perfect, and yet imperfect domain. Dib cursed silently.  
  
What was the secret of this place? What mystery had led him here.......why was he here? If there was some purpose to his arrival, Dib was determined to find out. But although his mind was now set on this goal, his body seemed to think otherwise; his hands quivered with uneasiness, and he couldn't control the sensation of fear that was trailing up and down his slightly hunched spine. And still there was that pain in his chest, that dull ache that lurked from within him; he nervously clenched the front of his tee shirt, as if to comfort himself. It threatened to overtake him at any moment, but Dib silently swore that he would not be subdued so easily now......he had fought it all his life........he would not bow down before the pain now.  
  
Biting his lower lip, Dib used all of his available mental strength to will himself into motion, the lower half of his body still resisting his brain's commands. Propelled forward at last, Dib pushed on foot in front of the other slothfully, feet clumsily maneuvering about the grassy knoll; he began to pick up speed, his body slowly coming under his control once again. Spotting a river in the near distance, Dib set a course for it, careful not to trip on the rocks that dotted the hillocks and mounds.  
  
~~~This is our last goodbye~~~  
  
The water in the ravine was cool and clear, bubbling along the polished stones that were laid about in a pleasing fashion. The noise it made was very calming, but Dib did not allow it to seduce him; he was still filled with tension and unease. A shudder rolled along his shoulders as he peered into the water's surface, for at first, there appeared to be no reflection, as if he was not there at all. But his face soon emerged, and Dib saw for the first time a face infused with terror, for the lines on his brow were etched with worry, his mouth twisted in hesitation. Even his nose seemed to be wrinkled more then ever, a sign that he was truly at unrest with his situation. Looking away from the water's edge, head shaking with puzzlement, Dib realized for the first time that perhaps he was truly alone.......  
  
........wasn't he always alone?  
  
His pulse quickened, and his skin began to crawl, the sound of thunder reverberating in his ears. Dib pulled himself away from the babbling river, looked out towards the horizon, only to find that, unexpectedly, everything was becoming a misty haze.  
  
He squinted his eyes, looking out into the building miasma that seemed to leak from nowhere, but was undeniably filling the air like a noxious fume.  
  
Didn't he want to be alone.......isn't that what he had wanted all along........  
  
Suddenly his feet came alive, and Dib burst into a rapid sprint, as he was propelled across the ground by some unseen, inner force. Hands pumping, Dib searched about rapidly for any sign of life, scanning the area, eyes darting like that of a hunting falcon. But not even a field mouse could be found, not a single chirping bird or buzzing insect flew in the sky, which was now stained with an olive tint.  
  
~~~Did you say, "no, this can't happen to me", and did you rush to the phone to call?~~~  
  
Dib gasped out loud as one of his racing feet caught onto an errant rock the he somehow had neglected to spot, and he was sent violently tumbling down a hill, head bashing against the ground that was no longer soft, for all the grass was now dead and limp. The earth below him was cold and frozen, as is a cold snap had seized the valley in the midst of summer. He came to stop at the bottom of the hill, mouth gashed open; he had probably hit a jagged stone in the midst of his drop. Blood, the color of a crimson ruby, slowly trickled off of his lips and teeth, but he didn't bother to lick it away. Instead he quickly pounced back to his feet, running in no particular direction, trying to find some way out of this misguided paradise. His legs were beginning to cramp from running, the muscles of his weak upper thighs straining and complaining, but Dib continued to speed along, frenetically looking for an exit.  
  
No longer was the sky blue, and no longer was the air refreshing; all seemed to become dead and stagnant, and even the pretty river behind him, no longer in Dib's field of vision, was running dry. The air that filled his lungs tasted of sewage, and he choked a little, causing him to give up his futile chase; he bent over, hands on his knees, his body screaming in protest, breaths ragged and aspirate. Feet pounding, head muddled, Dib looked up slowly, out into the vapor that lay ahead, stunting his gaze dramatically.  
  
And that was when a ray appeared before him.  
  
~~~Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind saying "maybe.......you didn't know him at all?"~~~  
  
It was minute, tiny at first, like the light that shines from a cheap flashlight, and at first Dib perceived it to be a mirage brought about by some manner of increasing insanity.  
  
But the light was indeed there, for when Dib passed his hand through it, he felt and saw it being bathed in light. As his fingers touched the tulip yellow glow, his mind suddenly became less frantic, more at ease. Drawing upon whatever courage he still had, he thrust himself full into the path of the beam, and at once Dib could tell that there was something special about this light, something he had felt before, but never realized its importance.  
  
Something he had perhaps taken for granted.  
  
His lungs inflated with pure air once again, as if this column of light could shield him from the encroaching poison. He felt buoyant, almost flimsy as he wrapped his arms around himself, the faint beating of someone's heart echoing in his ears. It was not his own......his own pulse was racing as fast as lightning's course.......no, this pulse was steady, rhythmic, like that of a sleeping child. Dib listened to it carefully, intently; although he was ready to recoil the moment danger appeared.  
  
His blanched skin suddenly became flushed as the light engulfed him, flooding his senses, filling his very being with energy, and he could feel his fingers and toes tingling with new found might. Even his hair seemed to be electric, his whole body charged with this strange, yet somehow satisfying, power.  
  
~~~Well, the bells out in the church tower chime........burning clues into this heart of mine~~~  
  
The overwhelming feeling of comfort rushed into Dib's heart, flooding it, inundating it, and Dib at first wanted to spring back like a gun's hammer, it was so startling. But the light would not lessen its grip on him.  
  
His head began to swim with emotions he thought he had lost so long ago.......pity......compassion.......forgiveness.  
  
Was there something returning this all to him? Was there someone in this light?  
  
He opened his eyes wide, looking upwards; the glow was certainly bright, but not harsh like that of the sun, but icy like the majestic sheen of a full moon. Searching directly into the radiance, Dib opened his eyes further as they suddenly caught hold of a pair of hands, reaching out to him. The fingers were bleeding, torn, but they were still the most beautiful pair of hands he had ever seen. They clawed at the air, trying to strain downwards toward Dib, and it at first looked like the person from beyond the light was going to fail, for the hands soon pulled back. Mouth tight with resolve, Dib lunged with an incredible show of willpower, his tired fingers barely brushing those of the figure in the light.  
  
~~~Thinking so hard on her soft eyes and memory~~~  
  
Falling back towards the ground, Dib nearly screamed in frustration, eyes wild now with determination, his teeth bared, indomitable in his pursuit for freedom......for life itself. He leaped into the column of light as the pair of hands above began to slink further back into nothingness; his eyes suddenly burst open with tears of anxiety.  
  
He thought he was going to lose, knew he was going to be alone forever.......  
  
Skin suddenly slapped against skin. Dib caught his breath once more, and noticed how a figure, bathed in a golden shadow, was now hanging overhead, literally pouring out of the light like a celestial being. The sight by itself was more breathtaking then all the galaxies combined. Tears streaming down his blushed face, Dib thrust himself higher and higher into the shaft of radiance, seeking out this persona, lead on by his dogged tenacity. Within the pillar of light, Dib could barely make out the person's features, could barely see a face within the mass of glowing power, but he was not frightened any longer.  
  
He felt a hand wrap around his own; the light seemed to build up with intensity as Dib felt himself being pulled through and past some immense gravity. He closed his eyes fiercely now, giving himself up to fate, hoping that there was some good in this world, some chance that he could survive this. Gripping the person's hand tightly, the boy, broken and bloody, could not help but faint as he was sucked from into a void, leaving behind the clandestine, corrupt Utopia.  
  
~~~Of her sighs of "it's over.......it's over......."~~~  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Author's Note: Just wanted to let you know that this chapter was inspired by the Jeff Buckley song "Last Goodbye". 


	15. Chapter 13: Morning's Light

Chapter 13: Morning's Light

FWAP!!

Dib unconsciously thrust the covers off of himself, nearly smacking his head against the myriad of medical instruments dangling over him. He found himself breathless, with a heavy pain pounding within his breastbone. Without another thought, the raven-hair boy eased himself back onto the bed's soft surface.

The first time he had awoken in a similar bed, in a similar room, he had been so scared.

Closing his aching eyes, Dib could feel with his fingers the IV that was jabbing into his wrist. Strangely, there was no pain at all, except when it bumped against the mattress, in which a dull sting would travel underneath his skin. The fact that he could smell his own distinct scent on the pillows resting underneath his head told Dib that he had been here for quite some time. But for how long?

Dib tried to remember anything, everything, that had happened from before……..the fight in Zim's underground lab, the esoteric dream that had occurred afterwards…….had it been only a dream?

The more Dib tried to concentrate, the more confused he became, and it wasn't long before his forehead began to twinge with protest. Everything felt fuzzy…….blurred almost, as if nothing had happened at all, that it had just been a figment of his imagination.

Nonchalantly, Dib rubbed his side, which felt sore and tender, but stopped when he found that his entire midsection was tightly bound in some kind of white bandage.

"How did……." Dib muttered, although he knew the answers already. They were waiting just beneath his skin, waiting to be acknowledged.

"So……it wasn't all just some bad dream……."

Sighing lightly, careful not to provoke the pain that dwelled in his lungs, Dib tried to recall the events from before, but found all to be lost in a haze, as if they were meant to be locked away, never to be remembered. He swore that everything felt so……..real……..but at the same time so extraordinary.

That white hot light he had felt pulsating against the skin on his face, the gentle hand that had been extended towards him…….it had all felt too real. Dib clasped his hands together, trying to unearth some rational explanation to how he was still alive.

"I should be dead……." He said sadly, eyes narrowing, black-hair limp and falling in a disheveled manner over his face.

"Nel……..she should have killed me…….for what I did."

A flashbulb memory struck him like an insane rhinoceros as his brain suddenly summoned the horrific images from before: the surgical knife clutched greedily in his shaking hands, the pleasure it had brought him to lunge it into Nel's chest cavity…….the look of pain and sorrow etched in her innocent eyes, red with tiredness.

Senses hindered by the enormity of it all, Dib shuddered uncontrollably, mind buzzing, fingers numb. He didn't want to believe that she was dead…….that he had killed her…….

But he had…….and he had been happy about it, ecstatic almost.

In the end, she had saved them all, she had killed Zim……..or so he thought……

"But if I'm still alive……then so is Zim," biting his lower-lip, Dib frowned a little, his memory clearing up like the lifting of the morning fog as the sun lumbers over the horizon.

"That still doesn't explain how I got here……."

"I-I brought you here….."

The voice barely reached his ears, but Dib still recognized the voice, and was snapped from his inner thoughts almost violently. Eyes dilated with surprise and mouth agape, he twisted his head around towards the door which was adjacent to his bed.

She looked like a portrait of some ethereal Goddess, even though she was sitting in a wheelchair that was much too large for her. Her hands could barely reach the wheels that sat on either of her, and there was enough room in the sit to fit another person entirely.

But he looked past all of that, didn't even notice that her tiny feet barely touched the foot rest, as Nel, a large bandage, similar to the one Dib had bound around his ribs, wrapped securely around her forehead. As she was wearing an issued medical robe, Dib was unable to see the identical dressing encompassing her chest, although he knew it was there.

The girl looked tired, deep bags drooping beneath her doleful eyes, but a slight smile was shining on her face to counteract it. Struggling to reach the rims of the chair's wheels, Nel slowly rolled into the room, eyes screwed in concentration, her diminutive arm muscles flexing.

Dib was speechless. It didn't even occur to him that he should help her, but it was all for naught….he was still in not condition to leave the bed. His ribs were still mending, his jawbone still cracked from the punishing blows dealt from Zim's steel-tipped boots and gripped hands.

"How……how……." Dib could barely form words, not to mention an entire sentence as the frail girl's wheelchair finally tapped against the side of his bed. He wanted to touch her, wrap his arms around to, anything just to prove that this wasn't a dream, wasn't his imagination, that she was alive…..that THEY were both alive……

"I couldn't…….I couldn't do it," sitting solemnly in her chair, casting her gaze into her lap, where her hands were now clasping one another. She had to catch her breath; it had taken all of her strength to travel through the facility to Dib's room.

She too remembered the altercation in Zim's lab, although it was much clearer then Dib's recollection. Even when she didn't want to, Nel could still hear the thunder overhead as it traveled through the earth into the laboratory, could still see the look of disgust and fury on Dib's face.

It had been her fault. Everything had been her fault.

"I couldn't kill anyone…….I don't want to be the monster you must think I am," Nel finally spoke again, forcing back a sob, "I had the choice……I had a choice for the first time……please forgive me……"

"Nel……." Although Nel had the fortitude to conceal her sorrow, Dib was now the weaker of the two, and tears tumbled down his face as he carefully took her face into his hands.

"I could never call you a monster. You were never a monster……that was me…….I don't even deserve to breath the same air as you."

His hands were calloused and rough, but to Nel, they were the only pair of hands that she ever wanted to feel against her face. Although her cheeks red with embarrassment and despair, she was still happy to be with him again……no matter what he had done in the past…….

She could see beyond all that now…….she could see beyond the ties to her lineage now.

It was nothing more then the past.

"Can you, can you forgive me, Nel," realizing that she was becoming lost in thought, Dib spoke again, a little bit louder this time. When she looked back into his eyes, he almost shuddered from the impact she had on him. With one look, Dib felt incapacitated, helpless almost.

"I……I didn't know……."

It was true that he had been tricked by Zim. However, it didn't make up for the fact that he had believed him, his one and only enemy the entire time, that he had made the decision to stab Nel, that he had almost killed her.

It had been his fault. Everything had been his fault.

He felt like a Neanderthal to have been coerced by the slime that was Zim. How could he have been so gullible, so childish……..the entire time he had been so absorbed with his "mission" that he failed to realize what had really mattered at the time: the girl who sat before him now, eyes downcast, probably on the verge of tears.

Dib could only imagine how much his immense betrayal was weighing down upon her.

Nel continued to gaze into his eyes, and in return Dib struggled to maintain eye-contact with her. Neither of them blinked, neither of them said another word.

The silence began to settle in. Dib wondered how long this was going to last…….he wouldn't have been surprised if she felt compelled to leave him forever in this bed, to never look back at his disgusting face again.

Any other person would have done just that.

"Dib…….I had the choice……." the icy silence shattering with Nel's hushed words, she slowly unclasped her fingers, and used them to pull Dib's hands away from her face. Dib felt the weight of conclusion crashing down upon him with her gesture, not sure what to expect except for her repulsion.

"I choose to live."

"I'll understand if you never want to see me again, Nel……" Dib said as she removed her hands from his, putting them back onto her lap. He momentarily let his eyes fall from her face, used his free hands to wipe away the tears that silently slid off of his cheeks.

"But please hear this……I…….I never hated you……..never……."

It took him by surprise then, as Nel pushed off from her wheelchair's padded seat, clumsily lunging onto the bed, into Dib's arms. With all of her remaining vigor, she held the boy in her lanky, thin arms, careful not to rest too heavily on his broken ribs. Nel could no longer hold back her emotions as she hugged Dib, as her own tears of happiness, as well as those of pain, freely sprung from her eyes.

Dib could feel his heart soaring now, thumping with elation as he returned Nel's embrace, still dumbstruck and half-confused.

"Dib," she managed to say as she reluctantly pulled away to look Dib in the eyes again. This time, though, there was an even broader smile playing on her lips, eyebrows pulled upwards, her eyes sparkling for the first time in who knew how long. Dib felt as if it had been an age since he had seen her smile so. With just this glance did he feel his own strength return gradually.

"I want to learn, learn what it means to be human……I may know about my origin, but I am still…….still a human…….please help me learn."

The emotions between the two seemed on the verge of boiling over as there lips finally met at last, their lonely hearts touching one another, becoming one. The boundaries of anxiety and misery melted away as they hugged one another, realizing themselves as two human beings, both equal, both needing one another.

Nothing in the world, not a World War, not an apocalypse or an Armageddon could bring Dib down to the realm of sadness now……not when he had his light to cling to, not when he had his Nel once more to keep him safe, his reason to smile and move forward.

He knew there would be moments of perplexity, of misfortune, perhaps even suffering. But those were all trivial compared to the second chance Nel was giving him now. This sacred child, this angel of his……his second chance at life.

It didn't matter if his father had created her, if she had been treated as a puppet, as some toy before……from this point forward, she was no longer a science project.

She was Nel, nothing more, nothing less.


	16. Epilogue: That Last Painful Sigh

Epilogue: That Last Painful Sigh

A few months later…….

It was a day like no other.

There had been so many weeks of incessant rain; the residents of the small town had lost all hope for a sun-filled afternoon, for mornings that were warm and pleasant. They had almost forgotten how it felt to have the evening sun light the sky with a brilliant wash of pink and orange, to see a sky that was not flooded with angry, stubborn clouds.

Indeed, all of the townspeople were skeptical when they awoke one day to see their lawns awash with morning dew, the sun reflecting of the little water orbs like small ornaments dotting the blades of grass. The air was cool, not cold, a breeze lilting through the branches of the oak and maple trees, leaves rustling like natural wind chimes. The rain had lost its grip on the atmosphere, and the town was finally emancipated from its prison of dreary, inhospitable weather; the fingers of early spring's precipitation were unclosing themselves, allowing May's fragrant envoy to billow through the urban township.

As the sun crept over the slightly sodden horizon, slowly, as if it were fighting some invisible pull, the cotton-candy hazes of the night departing in its presence. Birds and other small animals were awoken from their nests and trash-can abodes, stirred by this unfamiliar warmth. They stretched in the disappearing darkness, their limbs revitalized, their minds perking as the sun began to loom overhead like a beacon of hope.

One would think that with such a beautiful day on the verge, all of the city's residents would be overjoyed, that they, like the animals, would all bound from their homes to greet the idyllic sunrise and amiable wind, to say "goodbye" to days filled with dolorous rainfall and clashing thunder. How could anyone overlook such a wonderful occasion as this?

The grave stone was fresh; not a single bit of mold had caught hold of its marble surface, not a spot of grime could be found in the crevices of the epitaph.

The dirt for the tomb was also newly laid, still soft.

It was actually a very pretty sepulcher, in spite of its inherent rigor, as flower arrangements of all colors and sizes adorned the grave, lilies and baby's breath carpeting the floor of recently spread dirt. Their strong scent filled the air around the grave, although it failed in washing away the more imaginary air of melancholy that was naturally found in a cemetery.

The tomb was far away from the other's, placed solemnly underneath a silver maple, as if to denote its importance. Its marker looked lonely, as it faced the other gravestones, wishing for their company, wanting to converse on about happier topics other then death and the afterlife.

But there would be no companionship for the lone grave; it would forever be alone, underneath the silver maple, the leaves and bark its only friends. There were few people in the cemetery, and especially none around this special, somber spot, not a single mournful visitor around to offer words of console or pity.

If the stone of the grave marker could speak, perhaps it would have called out to the doves nestled in the tree. Perhaps it would have imitated their grief-stricken, doleful call in a wasted effort to pull them closer.

But the stone could not speak, could not imitate the dove's gentle cooing.

The stone marker and tomb, if it could form the words of man, would probably have cried, belted out sobs enriched with tears, sorrowful in its solitude.

But today was a day like no other, and therefore, many unexpected things were wrought.

Footsteps like that of a fawn pattered on the soft crabgrass of the cemetery, navigating around the plethora of gravestones, straying far from the stone path the winded around the graveyard.

The person felt desperate to have come to this place, so weak and ravenous, as if some great power had compelled the person's feet to walk to the silver maple.

White as Dracula was her skin as she approached the grave, surprised to see so many flowers scattered along, feeling rather guilty to have come here empty handed herself. Kneeling slightly, the solitary person touched the petals of the lilies, careful not to bruise the delicate surfaces, taking in their fragrance. It was pleasing, but she could not bring herself to smile, even with the day being so agreeable.

Had she hoped to find some peace of mind, some manifestation of solace here?

She was tilling her own grave, carving with her own bare hands her own epitaph in a slab of marble.

She didn't have to say any words, not a single utterance was needed to convey her guilt and sorrow. It was all in her eyes, all in her skin, all in her hair and mouth. She was the very essence of remorse as she knelt before the grave, still fondling the flowers tenderly. Her mouth quivered though, as if she were either struggling to say or hold back the words that clenched her soul. Knees buckling, the person collapsed onto the bed of flowers, body twitching.

A halo of shame and self-reproach slid down her neck, reaching to choke her now, and she could not fight it off, had no stick to beat it away. Hidden in the blankets of flowers, head nestled against the grave stone, the girl had not the strength or power to cry, had only the mettle to stay still, to fight the urge to run away.

Like a baby unable to stand on its own, the girl remained motionless, as the doves in the silver maple looked down on her, heads cocking to one side curiously. They hadn't had a visitor since the since the burial ceremony, when silent and few mourners had walked away, never to return. Who was this small, weak person that had intruded upon their sanctuary? They flapped their wings, white plumes falling from their heavenly bodies, floating down to the ground like an angel's snowflakes.

The breeze hastened, and the branches swayed slightly. As if the tree were agitated by the curious doves, it shooed them away with its looming, aged arms. It then came to rest again as the wind calmed, and the old maple overlooked the friendless guest, only now coming back to her senses as the doves continued to fly away, cooing in the ebullient dawn. Pollen sticking to her skin, wet with the morning dew, the girl's eyelashes batted frantically to push the flower's dust away, nose itching as some of it was accidentally inhaled. The small, fragile looking person sneezed violently, causing her to suddenly rise to a seated position, and she rubbed her nose achingly, vision clouded and muddled.

She felt lost again……..there were so few she could trust……but the few that would stand next to her would be loyal, would be there for her in times of sorrow and delight.

But right now, even that seemed so trivial.

The girl shuddered, eyes red from irritation and half-hidden lament. Broken and weary, she felt as if she was unable to find her way……..

The gravestone seemed to be calling out to her, but she would not be its prisoner any longer. She couldn't go on like this…….

She had chosen to live, she had wanted to live……the shadowy figures of her past had to die away at last.

Coming to the realization that there was nothing to be found here save needless ignominy, senseless disgrace, the girl rose to her feet, stumbling slightly, nearly powerless.

"Goodbye……." the girl said finally, losing the battle to remain silent. She turned from the grave, turned from her past, turned from her grief. Eyes locked onto the path before her, one that would eventually lead her away from this seemingly unending torment, Nel started to walk away.

"Mother……."

Nel refused to turn back to the grave-stone, didn't even risk another glance as her feet lead her to another figure who stood at the entrance to the cemetery, dressed in a familiar black trench-coat.

It was to be a day like no other……..

Author's Notes: Well, it's finally finished! I'm sorry it's taken so long to wrap things up, but I also wanted to thank everyone that has left a comment or has sent me fanart! It's been a great time working on this story, and I hope that everyone has enjoyed it! Please leave a review if you can spare a moment D

Nel


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